|Reviews for None of it Brought You Back|
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 1/18/2008
There's a formality in the sructure, yet carefreeness in the language itself that is really interesting in this poem. A couple typos, but overall, a nice piece. For me, I think I'd prefer it tighter with less elaboration, but that's preference. Hope to catch up a little on what you've been doing since I dropped off the planet :)
| pearl4444 chapter 1 . 10/28/2007
Your poem was an accurate description of emotions I tried repressing after two of my sisters, two of my dogs, and my nonbiological died in six years. Good job, seriously.
| Sonata IX chapter 1 . 4/30/2007
This is the most beautiful thing I've read in a long time. I read it three times before realizing I can't offer any more comment than that...I don't have the words. Beautiful.
| Sobriquet Queen chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
I feel an incredible sympathy for the speaker in the poem. The emphasis on the penultimate line, 'But you're waiting for me', is incredible, and the simplicity of the technique - the use of 'but' to begin a line, rather than 'I' or 'and', is brilliant (in the genial sense, rather than the kindergarten equivalent to 'Super!' written on a child's homework...)
"I eat and I drink and I breathe.
I walk and I talk and sometimes I smile."
Those two lines almost perfectly create the monotony after grief - you just try to live, just bear it.
The power and control in this poem is astounding. Favourite stories? I think so.
(I'm from the UK - forgive my spellings!)
| With Rhyme and Reason chapter 1 . 8/18/2006
I can actually picture a person standing in front of a grave, thinking these things. Wonderful imagery. I especially like: "I eat and I drink and I breathe. / I walk and I talk and sometimes I smile." The repetition of "I" really works there, as it suggests that the persona is more concerned with his/her obligation to grieve than with the actual loss of the other person. Just my take on it.
The wonderful refrain "And none of it brought you back" is another really good line. It pressures the mourner to question the logic of grieving. And in the end he/she finds some relief, but he/she is still "dancing with your ghost"-that is, he/she still can't let go of the past.
Or I'm totally wrong.
This is really good. More stuff like this needs to be posted on this website. There's incredible emotion here, and an even more incredible control: you write with a sense of muted hysteria-the persona seems like someone who went through a phase of screaming at God and asking the eternal "why did this happen to me?" question before sitting down and harnessing his/her words.
VERY nice job on this one. I'll have to add it to my elite favorite list. (I'm extremely picky about that list.) :)