Reviews for Condensations
Violet Marx chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
I like your rhyming scheme in this one. And once again, I love your descriptions/metaphors.

And yeah, I hate eggplant, too. That's the reason I used it in the poem.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 9/13/2006
This is definitely going on my favorites. Anytime a person can compare another person to writing is amazing. I have never seen another poem like this. Your flow is nothing short of perfection, and the way everything is tied to writing and words just blows me away. "with a hint of tetrameter in his falling hair and italic eyes" - that is definitely my favorite line of the whole piece. I can see his italic eyes, and that is crazy. Keep writing! :)
coolwhiprincess7 chapter 1 . 8/30/2006
I have a few poems I have published due to how factual they are and I too would feel exposed. Therefore I admire your ability to post something like this."dramatic in a top hat and high-tops" I can picture someone getting ready to do a sad broadway number, n a top hat and pumps when i read this line. I like your ability to describe them in a literary sense, something I would have never thought of. Excellent.
Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 8/30/2006
This is a good poem. The honesty comes though and it's gorgeous. I applaud you for your courage :) Some of the best poetry (in my opinion), means enough to the poet to be a risk to share. It's fun to write fantasy, but the stuff that pricks the heart and kicks the gut is the stuff that you know well enough to write honestly. Nice work.
multiples of six chapter 1 . 8/23/2006
What a fantastic concept for a poem. There's so many levels & layers of meanings, it's kind of overwhelming. It's gorgeous.
Countess Chocula chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
I love this. The whole feeling and idea of it is great. Awesome job.
Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 8/12/2006
Real life, eh? Makes me like it all the more.

"If people were condensations of words" is just a lovely line. Very very poetic. I loved your descriptions of these two boys as poems, and their different quailities. I think maybe you should give a little bit more description to the second boy, who is way overshadowed by the first. Also, I don't know why, but the repeating of the "So is it strange...want to kiss him" part annoyed me. Not that I'm suggesting removing it, I'm suggesting just changing it and how it is used.

But, I like this very much, it is good a promising work.
classic violet chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
This is just so lovely. Wonderful poem, truly amazing.

"So is it strange that I, the people-reader, / want to kiss him / because he seems to want me to?"

Reading that, god, that's just so perfect. This poem is truly yours, keep writing! Love it!
Take The Stairs chapter 1 . 8/6/2006
This is amazing. I love the idea of a person as poetry, and the personal side to it gives it life. The contrast of the first two stanzas completely gets across the different sides of the character (it is one person, right?)

The last line is the perfect comment on the whole thing.
TaltushMeiMei chapter 1 . 8/5/2006
Ooh, this is a very interesting poem. It's kind of disorienting in a way, but htat makes it really nice. I like it.

And in response to your review of Sirens, that's actually... not exactly what I meant. I know that most people don't know this, and have never heard these, but I was referring to air raid sirens that go off when rockets or missiles are heading near a city. Very few people in the larger countries these days have heard them, but I have, and that's what the poem was about...

And I DO like this poem. It's very nice, and I like how it moves. )
Desired Lease chapter 1 . 8/5/2006
This is pretty cool. I like the second stanza the best. Please go r&r my new story "Dancing With a Twist."
oxytocin chapter 1 . 8/5/2006
I really like 'dramatic in top hat and high-tops' - the reversal of the descriptive words makes you want to go back over and read it over and over again. The repetition 'beats and repeats' is very profound. Hm. What else? I like 'synchronize' and 'harmonize' as a pair. Oh and wo tetrameter what an exciting word! I think the ending for the stanzas 'so is it strange' is really good, but I must admit I didn't really like the ending of the whole poem. I know where you're coming from, and it does fit... but in an oddly disjointed kind of way. Ok, I know that doesn't make sense but then again 'my favourite style is spontaneous' doesn't really either. However, I still really really like it! Keep it up!
poet tree chapter 1 . 8/4/2006

Adding to faves.

Emotion is so raw here.