Reviews for To Kill the Cherubim
xiao16 chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
meh, too lazy to sign in. but love this story already. it's really interesting and it would be totally awesome if you continued.
demee chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
i really like this! update soon so i can read more! the plot is very inrtigueing. - waggles eyebrows-
Grawrgles chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
I like it. Please continue it. ]
Adhuc chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
"Should I continue this?"

Seriously, do you have to even ask? If you dont, I'm pretty sure hordes of angry readers will come beat your door down and ductape your hands to your keyboard. Awr.
Tasyin chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
You have a good idea and plot and charaters are believable so far.

Your style is interesting. You have an excellent vocabulary, used well and in the right places, but somehow it still almost feels to me like you've just started using a thesaurus to spruce up the story. I don't think you actually have, but that's just the feeling it gives off. Part of the reason for that is because your writing is a little unbalanced. You have this great sense of words, but then sentences are awkward and hard to understand, there's grammatical errors, spelling errors, it just doesn't all add up.

If you'll excuse a grammatical note, you've only done this once in this chapter, but it's a trend I'm seeing more and more in fictionpress stories to mix up 'your' and 'you're'. Sorry if it was just an honest typo, but it's one of those things that really stands out, so you might want to read through your chapter for that and any other grammatical mistakes or awkward sentences before you post.

Also, the way you're writing it is very stiff, almost entirely formal. It's not very relaxed, which is making it difficult (for me anyway) to actually feel like this is a high school situation. Maybe a high schooler writing an English paper, but not telling a story.

So just be careful of that. I'm not saying you shouldn't continue, to the contrary I quite like this story. It's just difficult to muddle through sometimes. But keep up your good work. :)

~Tasyin
cbprice25 chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
Ooh! I like it.
Lady in Disguise chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
I think you should continue. It's pretty good so far.
delusional101 chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Please. Please continue this! Please! Twas awesome, and I've never really read a story quite like this... Well, I'll know that for sure when you progress it more. Please update son!
StarDust1880 chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
lol, i do almost the same thing as cassidy did to victoria, when my sister wants to borrow my "Gothic Clothes" because she needs to go to some stupid band's concert. annoying really since all she listens to is rap(no offense to any one who likes rap).anyways, this story is cool. i especially like the introduction, very descriptive. and now i'm totally warped. _
Somedaymydreamswillcome chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
Wow. You should DEFINITELY continue this story...I think it's awesome. I like how you don't do the cliched thing of writing what everyone looks like exactly all in one paragraph 'cause that's boring. But I love your writing style! It's awesome!
theVague chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
should you continue...? ...yes. 3
happyeverafter chapter 1 . 8/7/2006
This looks great. I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter. I have one question, why do all writers feel the need to post Disclaimers? I'm pretty sure that it's not something that you have to do.
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