|Reviews for just the beginning|
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 8/30/2006
Very nice. I love her counting the freckles on his arm! Such a great detail. Keep writing! :)
| not sure yet chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
very touching..haha (im so not funny that it's almost funny)..but anywayz, i did like it, it's warm and sweet, good job
| Jecai chapter 1 . 8/9/2006
Comparatively, our experiences are ephemeral and insignificant, but they could not be more important to us.
Very well written, with evocative imagery (eg kisses circles). The meter underscores reciprocity in 'she counts...her face'.
I like how 'they hold...fall' and 'whispering...there' both have 11 syllables like the second line - drawn out. And the last line says essentially the same thing, but with 10, symmetric and conclusive.
| a lonely september chapter 1 . 8/9/2006
it probably isn't supposed to sound like this, but it seems a little cynical, like the tone of voice. almost like coming from someone who feels like time kills it all... but maybe thats just i know is that this was really well written... it's such a sweet poem...