|Reviews for Chrysanthemum|
| Idiot Pilot chapter 1 . 1/7/2007
I enjoy the metaphor of the chrysanthemum throughout the piece (good thing you put the name in the title or I wouldn't have been able to spell that). My favorite line has to be "I know it’s not me you love - It’s the stories". The ending line is pretty good, too. My brain sort of hurts now though from the description, but I'm studying for finals too right now so that's nothingout of the ordinary.
| Bita-chan chapter 1 . 9/23/2006
"But what an enchantment, to be your ultimate disappointment..."
That is such glorious ending, and I like the way it started off so delicate but transformed into a crooked form of love.
P.S You have just been added to my favourite authors list.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/9/2006
i love this... its so heartbreaking and beautiful and amazingly written... the end is so bittersweet.. tragic an beautiful
| dollface and her cancer chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
"he's trying to make clouds for her". i read, and reread, and this is the line that holds me down. i love the rest of it, but "he's trying to make clouds for her". it's such a sweetly impossible image.
by the way - you've flattered me beyond blushing. your reviews make me fantastically happy.
| mezzie chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
we all have these sides, letting them see through now and then can give us some wicked good poetry though, like this : )
and you say you don't think you can write anymore! psht : ) we all go through phases. if you look at the dates on mine you'll see i tend to go quiet for a month or so at a time and not write. Not a good characteristic for keeping reviewers around, but nothing i can help. It just takes time for the things swimming in my head to find words and come out sometimes. so, end result... don't worry!
now regarding this. it's a great story to begin with. i think it actually draws a lot of parallels to julia roberts character in 'closer', if you've seen that, how she didn't really want to be happy, she was more hooked on being unhappy in order to feel complete.
and there are really stellar lines shining in this lemme tell you : )chrysanthemum - does slide off the tongue in a peculiar way that makes you want to try it again, so verbally fits well to the story. first line that really struck me was "And the garden is a delight" not because it's complicated or wordy but just because it encompasses so damn much. i like the touches of mythology, penelope and the gorgons. both are apt comparisons in their own way, and ilike how the thought of penelope leads to the comparison of the male in the story as odysseus, which can say a lot of things. although the gorgons are contrasting to penelope, it is a good illustration of this woman's dual sides and why she stays.
"Pretty, left-at-home wife prays for only one thing/ Rain in the summer, autumn in July" - beautiful lines there.
where you go from surveying her mental state to really plunging into things is where you really shine. that would be the last two verses, begining with "He plunged ever..." especially coming through are "smoldering me once an era" (LOVE that), "he had always wanted to sheathe her/ From what he'd been radiated with himself". In the end i really get the sense of a deeper interplay, that this is not just about what kept her going, but that he too was dependent on her twisted devotion - "the illusion chrysanthemums would always be constant"
one of the many things i like about your work is how much there is underneath the words. : )
if you're feeling like you can't get out the words hiding under your skin i recommend listening to some god music
whew i wrote a lot!
| Li'ain chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
Wow this is really deep and aquite twisted. This shows amazing writing skill.
| HHHHHHH chapter 1 . 8/9/2006
Beautiful. Fuck. Ing. Beautiful. It's an epic. Every word is charged with the charge of the soul, as Whitman would say.