Reviews for a representative
Bubbly Girl chapter 19 . 7/9/2011
Wow! Great job on the story! A couple of grammar mistakes but nothing unfixable and a good overall plot! :)

Peace, Love and Happiness! :)

~Bubbly Girl
SASE1 chapter 19 . 6/29/2010
Dude, I just added you as a favorite author... That's how awe inspiring you are as a writer.
havenn chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
Oh dear, that was tough. I couldn't even get through the first couple of paragraphs. You need extensive work on your grammar, punctuation and syntax. There were so many errors, I couldn't continue. Also, the language is very underdeveloped and immature. I can't say anything about plot, because I didn't get far enough to form an opinion, but from the way you started, you threw too much information too soon with little to no explanation. And never, ever, ever, EVER say, "...but she soon found out the rest." That is one of the biggest rules of writing; you don't foreshadow like that. Practice makes perfect, so I hope you keep writing and improving.

- Haven
Gabby chapter 16 . 5/21/2008
I really like this because it totally sounds like what a bunch of 16 year olds would do. How could you stop here of all times! ah! update soon, i must know what happens next.
Angel of the Fallen chapter 16 . 5/18/2008
ahh! i'm so glad you updated! Really i am...i missed reading this story and i was just thinking about this story the other day wondering if it would be updated. funny how life works. anyways, since Nick and Arisa are my favorite characters i'm happy they might be getting together and i really hope they do...Nick needs to let someone take care of for Bobi...i never really liked him much at...scratch that, i NEVER liked him, i hope something bad happens to him! please update soon
Sonyashinto chapter 16 . 5/18/2008
What the fuck!...Now i know how Arisa feels at the end. my sis came to my job telling me "my mom just got hit by a 4 by 4 when crossing the street" i find out later that she was trying to get me out of work early to come home and help my mom with cooking food for sweet 16 party yesterday...

Well off that subject. the story itself is pretty interesting. and you need to update again. and you BETTER DO IT! I wanna read MORE!

Well update soon!

Ja-Ne _
Angel of the Fallen chapter 13 . 9/27/2007
Sweet story! i can't wait for you to update which will hopefully be soon since its an awesome fic and you deserve more reveiw then you get!...n i dont like bobi, in the 1st couple of chapter it kinda (i use the word loosely) seemed like he did something but now does less...i love Nick though n i predict the 1st person he will truely open up to is Arisa...n poor Heva, is she gonna be pregnant for long? i hope she does ruin Nick's bed and carpet that might be funny...i also love Fido he's so lazy and loves sleep almost as much as i do! i don't really like Reicheru...more than Bobi though...she's very...out there to put it nicely. kay, well bye update soon!
LilyFinn chapter 13 . 7/8/2007
this is gonna be short because i have hot chicken fettucini alfredo waiting for me on the stove.

semi-boring chapter, semi-funny chapter. enough said. the best part of the whole chapter? MR. TOASTER! LOL! I started laughing like a freakin' asylum escapee when I read that and my dad looked at me as though he were thinking about putting me in the asylum.

Yeah, I know that last review was emailish. I felt instead of just sending u an email, it would be easier to review.

OMG, my fav part of this chappie (other than the obvious, Mr. Toaster) was 'Speaking of you Heva, God help you if you give birth in my house.' L.O.L.

Ok, gotta go eat yummy yummy food mouth is watering...
maewen chapter 12 . 6/18/2007
Again, love the story. I get the arguing thing now. Yay for Arisa getting Nick to do something selfless for once! Are they ever going to be free? You know, do the whole representative thing? Cause you haven't expounded (big word...yay!) on exactly what they'll end up doing in that position, really. Just that they're supposed to do it. The dead enchanted mouse was great, though. But...why is it green? And why did Fido think it was soap? And I think Bobi should get to do something other than just exist. Even talking would be nice. But I still love the story! And I love you for writing it! You just add to the awesomeness. But I still think you should randomly put a hot vampire in there. Just cause it's neat! lol

LilyFinn chapter 12 . 6/18/2007
yayness, another chapter! anywho, i was, surprisingly, glad to read more nick/arisa (there was the tiniest hints of it, but it was there!) heehee! and...HAHA REICHERU WAS WING-CLIPPIFIED! and as much as i was sad to see heva didn't get to kick ass, i'm glad u were thinking about the welfare of her babies! btw, i want those babies to come out SOON! & mrs. tableleg...! OMFG! JACK THE FISHIE! u know, jack should be hanging on MY doorknob, seeing as I (yeah, yeah, ME!) am the one who kidnapped him from the woods of the tree-climbing fishies.

i told Jill about ur oh-so-wonderous killing of the tree at the park. me & Jill went to the mall today. did u? no! she was gonna invite u but nobody answered when she called...or something like that. but yeah, she bought me ice cream from rita's (once again, i was broke & she was offering to buy food, so i took it) and it was AMAZING! have u tried rita's ice cream? it's that little shop right behind gloria jean's, the coffee place. the ice cream was spectacular! and i wore my 'watch more anime' shirt and the guy at rita's commented it and we started having a discussion on anime, youtube, and veoh.

which reminds me. veoh is the new youtube. youtube is pissing me off because they're obviously deleting all the anime episodes/amvs. i found veoh this morning, which is just like youtube, only with more anime episodes! now i'm gonna go to veoh and finish watching ultra maniac...or maybe mermaid melody...crap...choices, choices...


p.s...when do u want to ride my bike again? i'm free basically all week...except tomorrow (tuesday) i might ride over to devona's to get back my book from the library.

p.p.s. i was a little worried when u didn't call me today. i thought 'holy crap, alyssa didn't call me! the world is ending!' but then i found out u called when i was at the mall. i was popular today. 3 people called me. jill, shawn, & u (although i didn't talk to u, bt u called, so whatever)...anyway, i'll probably talk to u tomorrow!

LilyFinn chapter 11 . 6/13/2007
HOLY CRAP I SMELL PANCAKES! Not really...but holy crap, THEY'RE GONNA BE FREE! oh yes...I'M the hormonal queen...that's so mature of u, u know...Fido has a brother? YAY! Heva's gonna get a little brother in law dude. FRANKIE IS A PERMANENT CHARACTER? NO! PLEASE JESUS, ANYTHING BUT THAT! he gave them a THONG for cryin' out loud! why does he get to be a main character? least the suspense is building up when r the babies gonna be here? i can't wait to read about my babies! omfg, u should have one of the babies try to eat hiki! that'd be cute! and then heva would get all 'NO! NOT HIKI!' and fido would be all 'that's my boy' or something like that. lol!
maewen chapter 11 . 6/12/2007
Interesting story... I love it! It's so completely random! Definetely the only one of its kind! they HAVE to argue 24/7? No offense, but constant agruing gets kinda old. Maybe...I dunno... Anything? But it's still a great story. If you had thrown a vamp or a dragon or a...witch or something in there it would be even more awesome...but that's just me! I still love it!
LilyFinn chapter 10 . 6/5/2007
HOW COULD YOU? I admit, I'm happy Heva and Fido hooked up...but it was WAY TOO SOON for them to do the deed! AND HEVA'S PREGNANT! UNBELIEVABLE! Fido should've used the Hands On Protection. I was expecting you to develop their relationship a little bit more so it didn't seem too fast, but no, you just dove right in there and immediately made them have sex! God. Now people will think Heva's a whore. And since she's based off me, people will think I'M a whore!

Well, I'm glad they're together and that you updated. Still pissed that Heva's pregnant (although I won't be if you let me choose the baby's name!), and that they're still stuck in the shed thingy. But I still reviewed, didn't I? So that means you must go now to my new EMO story and review that! It'll be easy to find. It's got the word 'emo' in it.

You are SO gonna get it in science today...oh wait...we have our exam today...Ok. You are SO gonna get it at lunch today. _
LilyFinn chapter 9 . 2/16/2007
*yawn* bor~ing. this story just doesn't excite me as much as it used to. i mean, the whole 'we're trapped in a shed thingy mabob how will we ever get out?' is getting old. alyssa, get them outta the shed already...and focus on other characters more. and while i luv fido and heva, you really need some more bobbi and rachael in there. and i'm starting to get tired of every chapter being about nick and arisa...give them a break already...

LilyFinn chapter 8 . 1/25/2007
Just for your information, I'm not THAT perverted!(sulks in a corner)

I just got my 12 pictures for home ec! I found one with FEESH in it! MWAHAHA! BACK IN THE DAY...I CAN STILL SEE THEM...THE SUFFERING CHILDREN! LOL!

Funny chapter...but why does Frank have a thong? Don't tell me he's like that one dude from White Chicks wo sniffs chicks' underwear! EW!

Poor Fido got a cage. Heehee! I couldn't stop laughing when I read those last few paragraphs!
25 | Page 1 2 Next »