|Reviews for Red boa|
| a lonely september chapter 1 . 9/10/2006
this is wonderful. and i like the ending but that im not sure is part of it. but im gonna pretend it is. cos it's lovely. this whole poem is.
| tasted like heartache chapter 1 . 8/16/2006
i think you should leave it as it is.. if you add the other part it just seems kindof unfinished... but thats just me, its yr poem.
| smile persephone chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
If you read this outloud, hither is a lingering tone... it resonates beautifully. I would, if you added that bit, change it to: "its fluid movement, trance-like/screaming to touch/(to taste)/forbidden/but ah, the sweet scent of flowers." It flows nicer, I think.
| mint cookie chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
i'm left speechless
| Kaye90 chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
i like your possible ending. making it end with hither sounds too short to me. but im also tired at the moment :-Dthe whole thing flows MUCH better! see what a little revision can do?
| the-foresight chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
I like the way you mixed the snake with the father boa. Very good!
| The Melancholy Cocoa Bean chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
argh seriously your pieces are amazing! simple but so bitter and really well written ... i wish i could write like this with such effortlessness that potrays it self in your work