|Reviews for probability|
| ossining chapter 1 . 9/9/2006
Stanzas 5-7 are my favorites of this piece. The images and language are just beautiful. I love the cat's cradle and then the idea of spinning into love - the connection there is really nice. The 6th stanza is one of those little stanzas that could stand as it's own poem, it's that to the point. And I love the line "I build my futures with you from sand." It shows that the relationship is bound to be washed away at any moment, it's a fragile thing that takes a long time to build, but can be ruined in an instant. Great work. Keep writing! :)
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
This is a wonderful poem - I'm adding it to my favorites. It captures perfectly the dance of a long relationship and the pain of loving someone who is afraid to be true to themself and therefore cannot be true to anyone else. Gorgeous.
| chaos called creation chapter 1 . 8/18/2006
crazy amazing flow in this. the only thing that stopped it was the kitten line. i think you should try a little alliteration on that line, it'll come out nice.
| Aslan Israel chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
first step to leaving your addictionis admitting it. and honeywe've been relentless in our confessions
-my favorite lines. Brilliant job.
| drblueface chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
Tragic, and relateable.
"I build my futures with you from sand"
Marvelously rendered. I really really enjoyed this piece.
Keep up the great writing _
| acccountkiller chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
Hmm, this is somehow different from the rest of your work...it's more straightforward and less subtle. But such beautiful phrases..."but illusions can carry you in any weather", "strung in your arms cat's cradle woven to your fingers"...just, everything describes such a peculiar relationship...it seems somehow doomed, and yet she is set to enjoy it. It's gorgeous...so ethereal and bittersweet. I love the summary "I'm addicted to breathing too...I'll never want to give that up either" something so plain in the meaning, but so wonderfully voiced, *art*! Love, MiaPS. read your profile...insomnia? Jeez I hope not for you, I had that for a while, nothing ever fucked me up so bad I think...:-S hope it works out!