|Reviews for Authenticity|
| Mirabella chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
This is very emotive, i especially liked how you began and ended. False to true, even though it was 'happy' to sad. Reminds me of the saying 'do i tell a truth to shed a tear, or a lie to cause a smile?'
Nicely done. :)
| bunny.one.three chapter 1 . 6/18/2009
This is... deep. Amazing job on this one, I like the concept of a perfect mask becoming imperfect.
| Chasing Skylines chapter 1 . 4/26/2009
I liked this because the first stanza was easy to relate to.
I liked the ending because it contrasted strongly with the first stanza.
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| Isca chapter 1 . 9/27/2008
"Fake smiles." Although that's a phrase that's a bit cliche, I liked it because no matter how simple it is, it's very emotional and relatble :)
"The mask is imperfect now.' I love how you sort of alluded to the fact that maybe you're not as perfect as people expect you to be.
| PoetryQueen chapter 1 . 8/18/2008
I can so realate to your summary! That somewhat happened to me with my poem Lost at Sea. If you want, check it out. It should be at the bottom of my stories list.
Ok, about the poem. I liked it. It was pretty good. It didn't flow perfectly, but was written from the heart. So, good job! This poem was so true too. We all have our little mask...
| Sexy Vampirechick chapter 1 . 3/31/2008
I like this poem.I can relate to it alot...actually.
I love all the stanzas.I really liked how you put them words together,really the first stanza wasn't that great to love this poem.
| LyricsArePoetry chapter 1 . 2/28/2008
Oh wow! I loved all ya poems, but this one is definately the best! I'm probz saying that because I can relate to it.
A lot of the world see only a fake side, but sometimes, the true side leaks out...oh that reminds me of a poem I wrote the other day *runs off to find poem to type up*
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/25/2008
Fake laughter/False happiness/Fake smiles... the word choice here seemed off.. you go from fake to false and back to fake... that seemed odd I might just repeat fake all three times or use three different words...
The flow of these two lines seemed off to me..."My emotions to the world/They are all lies." the second line seemed too short and saying they when you just said my emotions seems unnecessary... I might make it one line like "My visible emotions are all lies" and come up with another line or just leave it as 3
I really like the next two lines after that, but I couldn't figure out why will and reality were capitalized...
I didn't really like the next stanza.. the idea was great, but the wording seemed off..
-"These pictures on my face" was a really great phrase, but they do exist because others seem them... your point isn't that they don't exist is that as you say in the next line they're fictional
-"They're all fictional - like a story."... the idea of this simile is really nice but it's a bit wordy "they're all a fictional story" says the same thing, but less wordy
-"Behind this perfect mask, the true me lives"...that line I like
The next stanza...again I like the idea a lot, but
"I have lived what seems like an eternity".. lived for
"And my will begins to falter."... and doesn't seem like the right connecting word... which upsets the flow
"As it begins to leak out my true self." I think "As my true self begins to leak out" is just better phrased, but I love the image of yourself leaking out.. that was a nice word choice
I like the next stanza a lot.. especially the phrase "cold warmth of those fires" but I have no idea where this came from...this stanza doesn't seem to fit in the piece... how did your true self beginning to leak out lead you to hell?
I'm a big fan of ... but I don't think it really fits there.. i think a comma would be better... I also think the second line is beautiful the image of "shatters violently" is really wonderful, but it's a bit long for the flow of the rest of the stanza... i also like the idea of a frozen world, but I can't figure out where it came from since you were in Hell and there was no indication before that the real word would be frozen..
I like how this relates to the first stanza and now I see why you have fake/false/fake.. for some reason real/true/real seems fine whereas that didnt... I have no idea why.. lol, but Im no sure why you capitalize the next word especially since in the first stanza they aren't (which i like better btw)
All in all I liked this piece a lot.. the idea of a mask is something I read about a lot on fictionpress, but I think you had some different images in there and it kept me reading.. it's also something I think a lot of people can relate too
| Vanilla Tea chapter 1 . 2/25/2008
I like this poem a lot, its strong. My favorite parts are the beginning and end the way you start it out with what people see, which is fake, and end it with what is truely there. the one thing i would change in this is the second to last stanza, i would make it so the first line is "And watch..." and add the "as" to the second line. other than that its great!
| Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 8/16/2006
Well written. Good job! Write on!