|Reviews for Finding Self|
| delicate monstrosities chapter 3 . 11/9/2011
I thought the story was fun so far and I loved the girly chatter. The shout-out to Jared Padalecki was great too, he's an awesome guy and I am a huge fan of Supernatural so it was an unexpected surprise. I hope the re-editing goes well, the story can only get better and I'd love to see where it's going, if you decide to continue it.
| jillie4eva chapter 2 . 7/5/2008
i luv dis story...
amy need betta person do..
she is a lil' pathetic.
| audioboxer chapter 2 . 10/24/2007
okay, i read your appeal on the skow website so i figured i should give this a look-out. writers in bonding!
and i figure i should be pretty frank here. i think you should fix the grammar, theres some problems with that.
and also, i think you should work on your summary, because its revealed too much of the story and its not giving your characters breathing space. you have to work on that to lure readers in, thats what words. and the title of yur story! you should try to think of something else, maybe? dont get me wrong, i do like this story! if you want any summary help or anything, feel free to contact me!
| A Perfect Sonnet chapter 2 . 10/14/2007
Oh! Interesting! I haven't seen a plot like this on fictionpress before, good for you. One thing: is it Andrew or Michael in the first chapter? His name suddenly changed, you should fix that, it's confusing. Other than that though, this is pretty good. I'd definitely read more. Good luck!
| Lily Llynn chapter 2 . 10/13/2007
Hi! I saw your plea via the SKOW Yahoo Group Messages, so I read your story. (:
It's a nice plot, nice characters, and I do like it, but there are things I don't like. You asked for things to improve, so:
-You have some mechanics (little grammar things) incorrect, it'd be cleaner if you fixed that. (:
-Andrew became Michael suddenly, you need to make it all Andrew or all Michael, or else it's confusing.
-The dialogue at the beginning of the first chapter seems out of place; it might be better if you had a "flashback" scene at the beginning of every chapter (It'd connect to Amy more).
-Right now the plot and the characters seem a bit blind. Give your plot more spice and your characters more depth.
I'm sorry if that was really harsh! I really do like it, and I hope this helps. (:
| blue.eyes.can.be.deceiving chapter 2 . 6/10/2007
I'm not giving up , not giving up.
You are gonna update sometime, right?
haha. no but i really really really really really wanna read more.!
| blue.eyes.can.be.deceiving chapter 1 . 6/10/2007
lol. job well done. I like this, lots.
kudos to you,
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
OMG. Fairfax High :) I know people who go there and if I lived across the street, I would go there.
| Rhilian chapter 1 . 2/1/2007
I love the dialogue
The chatting between the characters is realistic and pretty intriguing. As if you were there with Niaomi and Amy (just the part i like the most)
The interesting thing about your story is the unique plot. It is refreshingly different. I'll definitely be reading more.
As for constructive critizisms: I cnt remember anything wrong with it. So just keep doing what your doing.
| funsize chapter 2 . 1/30/2007
heh this is random... when do we meet the new guy though! (u have a couple of spelling errors too btw eg Woman in History.. meant to be women (plural of woman) ) yeah but update soon :) (and lengthen chaps :) )
| unconnected14 chapter 2 . 1/29/2007
Great chapter. Update soon.
| phelps112 chapter 2 . 1/28/2007
i like this story so far. I really like the relationship between Amy , Sarah and Naomi. hopefully your muse starts nagging you. I can't wait to find out about the romance part, and if Amy's dad's side of the family ends up playing a role in the story.
| Ollie May chapter 2 . 1/28/2007
woohoo! The last thing I expected to see when I checked my email was an update to this story! But now that I got it, I gotta say, I am SO happy to have it! The interaction between Amy, Naomi, and Sarah was smooth and realistic and funny on top of it all. And I do so like how you made Amy more than a little embarassed about sex, you don't see that in writing anymore.
Fabulous stuff, chica! I can't wait for more, and NO you are not allowed to wait as long to update this time!
| UnnamedUntamed chapter 1 . 1/13/2007
I'm intriuged. Keep it up it's good!
| SunriseGoodbyes chapter 1 . 9/14/2006
hmm i really like this, sounds interesting. Good jon. ]. *thumbs up* heh heh continue please?