Reviews for Mall of Broken Hearts
silentvoiceshout chapter 1 . 12/8/2013
crap!the ending sent shivers up my was a good unpredictable one!
my princess ending chapter 1 . 8/17/2013

I was going to tell you that this story moves a bit fast and how could Alex agree to sit down with someone she just met? These made no sense but now that I finished reading it, seems like those don't concern me anymore. They don't even matter anymore because if the boy was a ghost then anything can happen.

I was also going to tell you the fluff in this story was perfect. But I can't now because well, it's obvious. I'm so broken hearted right now; it's depressing. I was expecting him to be an angel or something more like, somehow they would end up happy together in a way but nope. Wasn't going to happen.

With love,
my princess ending
sarah begum chapter 1 . 3/15/2012
OMG YOU should totally continue this like make her fall in love with him or somekind of supernatural romance
ClaryLovesYouXD chapter 1 . 12/21/2011
Jasmine136 chapter 1 . 5/13/2011
i didn't understand the last part.. its quite confusing... but the story is great! :)
Gennybee chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
NO ):

The story is awesome and the ending is unbelievable.

)): I totally cried reading it.

Sad ending, but good job! Loved it (:
amezz chapter 1 . 3/4/2009
Wow, that's just wow. I did not see that coming at all. That was so good. At first I was mad that Jared left, because he promised, but after reading that, I guess I get it. Your story was so good!
Cupid's Jinx chapter 1 . 2/21/2009
-tears streaming down face-

Poor Alex, poor Jared...




blurrylights chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
The ending was kind of confusing the first time I read it. Obviously, I get it now.

It was...odd. I mean, the writing was excellent, as always, but there was something a little off about it. And Jared's character was just so random.
xXxX-Live.Laugh.Love-XxXx chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
I don't get the end...
destinee's notebook chapter 1 . 6/1/2008
0_0 Oh. I expected something like that, I liked it, though.

- Des
scatterbrain87 chapter 1 . 12/23/2007
wow, really great piece. i literally felt a chill as i read the last few paragraphs. nicely done! keep writing, you're great. and creepy sidenote...i go to Rutgers and i know a jared there.
relapse into change chapter 1 . 11/3/2007
wow this story is so beautiful

i really liked it-fav
MKSub chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
I find it really weird that she can put so much trust into Jared, who she has never met before, when everyone in her life has abandoned her.

Woah! i was definitely not expecting that ending.

but i'd like to see your original ending as well.

this was well written. great job.
RisanF chapter 1 . 10/10/2007
This was an interesting story that defied first impressions. I wasn't sure what to make of Alex at first, but towards the middle, it seems you were portraying her as a messed-up young woman who desperately needed someone to slap some sense into her. That is, until the ending.

The part about Jarad running away and Alex looking at the computer to find out he died; is that part of the new ending?

There's actually a error in the paragraph structure at around that point in the story, which looks to be where you might have added something. The thing is, this part adds shock value, but it also renders the lesson of the story (Jared's speech to Alex) as pointless, and Alex goes back to justifying her negative view of the world. I'm not sure how this is serving the overall narrative.

To me, it's like if George Lucas made a new edit to Star Wars where Darth Vader takes his mask to reveal Kermit the Frog. I think I'd like to see your original ending, because it might fit the story better.
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