|Reviews for Predator|
| Lucykins chapter 24 . 12/3/2015
Phew. I did it. Haven't slept all night. I'm probably just writing this for myself since it seems like you've abandoned this site, but still. Incredible story. I feel so lucky to have found a complete story since I was so confused for about two-thirds of it (and even after I finished, some questions still lingered) it would have killed me having to wait for each update.
Maybe some day you'll publish this. It needs some touch ups, closing a few loose ends but this story somehow kept me biting the nails that I had spent the last two weeks grooming.
I'm feeling raw on the inside right now, probably from lack of sleep, but also... this really isn't how I thought the story would turn out (not referring to the ending-it was good- I'm talking about the entire plot). It's really sad that the lovely friendship that you've painted was built on deep feelings of angst, revenge and lies. But I guess you've surprised me, I really thought it would be one of those obsessive-possessive dark themed relationships and have everyone pining over the heroine. Instead, this was a mature, deeply sad story. The characters were difficult to connect to since they really weren't the main thing in this story. There was no focus on their every-day lives or their personalities. Eventually all of them were corrupt in their own way, so it was impossible to like or even relate to either of them, but it still didn't take a thing away from this story, and of course I was rooting for Angela (even though, she was doomed from the start, since, everyone were scheming against her - hey! I'm just getting what Leon's brother said about it not being fair game).
Speaking of Leon's brother, or even Leon himself. You left it on the edge between Supernatural and just simple fiction. Since I didn't actually get if Leon was really "Satan" and his brother (sorry I forgot the name) was an angel or god himself of some sort. I suppose that was your intention, or I'm going to have to re-read it.
Anyway, writing a review for myself mostly. Amazing work, this story is going to haunt me.
Hope you're still writing.
| Au revoir chapter 23 . 10/2/2015
That was...fascinating. Very morbid and to be honest really confusing. I understand most of it by the end but I'm not sure if I still understand everything (why did he keep Angela alive, what was with her angel juxtaposition, what happened to carion what exactly is bones and seriously if it is what I thought it was how did so many kids keep mutilating animals without finding that weird, and why did Angela admit to killing Lynn when she didn't and really how many sins did she commit and the whole idiocy of thinking yore going to heaven after allowing the bones nonsense) . I guess i could reread it now with a clearer understanding but i find now that im not seeking answers im not too interested. Not sure what that says about the work except that i guess i didnt love the characters and although the plot was clearly well thought out and creative it was basically based off suspense. Like a horror movie. It's hard to go through a whole novel without answers especially such a confusing one. It definitely kept me up reading.
But on the short it was well written, you've clearly out a lot of work into it and I did love how the characters changed through the piece. It's a bravo piece and Ive never said this before but I think it'd translate to screen extremely well.
These kids need some serious therapy though. And it's...disconcerting how well you write sadism and mental health issues
| C'estMoi chapter 7 . 9/12/2014
As the story goes on, it's getting easier to tell who the Predator, Producer and Consumer are. At first I was iffy about wether there was a good plot or not(cuz' I didn't see a lot happening), buti think I'm seeing it now. Love square? Well, if it's cliche, than at least I haven't thought it to be yet. Really liken' it. And I'm in love with my grammar. It makes me feel so smart.
| TerminalTragedy chapter 4 . 10/9/2013
This is a pretty good story, and I like where the plot is going but some things are pretty hard to follow and need clarification. Also, from what I've noticed that you give a great deal to emotions but when it comes to your character's looks, there's nothing or next to it. What is their complexion like? What nationality are they? What color is their hair? What body type do they have? All of these things are important for the reader to better visualize them. I get vague if not any images of your characters at times. The same goes for rooms or buildings, which are described a little more but still lack a lot of detail. Like a house on the beach. Is the house big or small? What color is the house? Is it an old house or a newly developed one? All these things come into my head as I read and it's important to focus on the little details enough to paint that picture in the reader's head so that they can visualize it the same way that we do as readers.
Other than that, I have no critique as your writing is flawless and your pacing, characterization and storyline seem promising.
| PaintedPicture chapter 24 . 8/26/2013
I was right in guessing who the producer, consumer and predator was... However, I am not sure who the lesser evil was... I could definitely see your writing change and improve and it was a punch in the stomach, one of those impacts that you don't get often after reading. The type of story where you don't expect a romantic butterflies and fluffy bunnies in the end. The hard impact that life is not always perfect. It was an amazing story and I feel as if I'm going to read your other stories.
| The.Violent.Spazz chapter 24 . 5/9/2013
...wait. So Cancer's plan all along was to kill Scythe and Rayth? Or was it to get her, too? Why did Scythe want to kill her?
Overall, I love this. All of this. You've had me mesmerized all week reading this.
| Nouveaux chapter 24 . 5/1/2013
I love dark, poetic fics like yours. Had to keep reading til the end, to have all my questions answered. I love how the ending explained everything but left this tiny cliff-hanger of what might happen next. The characters were complex, flawed and total psychos but still that's what makes this so brilliant. I'm also delighted that my guesses for who the Producer, the Predator and the Consumer were was right. There was always something about Rayth that was steadier. Now I'm not sure if I'm the heartless one but I lacked that rollercoaster of emotion I think I should feel. Perhaps you should flesh out Angela's emotions more because now it feels rather floaty. Like, I know she cried but I don't care about her. You did fantastic on the plot and conflict and tension-building though, which is why I still think you should definitely send this to a publisher; this is so worthy of a place in Waterstones ;)
| Sarah Spafford chapter 24 . 4/20/2013
I started reading this when you started to write it. I stopped awhile after the long breaks between updates, figuring you'd finish it eventually, and I was right. I started reading it all over again a couple days ago, staying up for hours on end, reading during down times at work, and I finally finished what you finally finished. I was confused a lot in the beginning, scrambling to figure out what was going to happen before it happened, set on edge by the dynamic among all of the characters. At first, I was very pro Scythe and Angela, but after a while, that dynamic changed too. Cancer was a hard pill for me to swallow. It became obvious quickly that he was in control, manipulating everyone. The ending wasn't a happy one for me, it was actually more of a resigned acceptance after everything had happened. The deaths of the twins was something I actually hated, because as horrible as they were, I was attached. Angela was selfish, it was her fatal flaw. She was so far from perfect it hurt at times watching her struggle to maintain the relationships she had. Despite knowing that, I wanted her to be able to succeed, I wanted her to be able to figure out what was going on around her. When she did, it was too late. The Cancer had spread. It had consumed them all, including her. Atonement. The end was a sad atonement for what had happened so many years before with Eleanor, a forced, unnecessary, yet completely necessary atonement. This story will always be one of my favorites.
| angelofthelight3 chapter 24 . 4/1/2013
i know you wrote this story long ago and don't know why i didn't read this just wanted to thank you for writing such an awesome story:)
| Ceskasi chapter 24 . 3/19/2013
I still don't get much of the story... But I'm what I do get is that this story got me hooked right from the start.
I like the how your story made me THINK. Not a lot of stories are as complicatedly fine as yours. It a work of art. During the last three chapters the tension was just so high. The pressure to WANT to know what happened and how each one of the characters are related in a way just ate me up.
This story deserves an award for being so outstanding.
My review on the characters(not all of them though):
Angela: At first I thought she was just an obsessed girl who will fall in love with her swearing childhood best friend. But as the plot thickens, she's proved herself to be as complex as she can be. Then she meets Cancer eight years later and I really thought there was going to be some kind of love triangle but, again, you proved me wrong. All in all I felt annoyed that Angela wanted nothing to do with Scythe and she just wants to run away from her problems or just ignore them.
Scythe: He is a misunderstood boy who feels lonely and rejected. He questions why God, Angela's God, punished him for something he did not do. That's why he felt the NEED to EARN his punisment. Maybe he wants God to feel that He punished HIM. Maybe... That's what I think anyways. In the end, he finally shows what he is really feeling -deep inside inside- what has been gnawing at his guts for YEARS. I also think that Bones is just too horrid of a game.
Rayth: He's the twisted brother who loves his brother so much and tries to protect him no matter what. He is the wise one, the one who knows the strings attached and the person who pulls them.
Lynn: I don't know why but I just hate her. I know, I can be pretty mean. She just had to be nosy and screw up another person's business. She didn't know what she had gotten herself into and she just died in the end. Bye bye person who went neck deep into another person's problem.
Pippa: She was annoying too; although, not as annoying as Lynn was.
Cancer: The stringmaster, the mastermind, the host... The Predator. Yeah, he is not my favorite character but he sure did make an impact on me. He's just, well, complicated and evil as hell itself. What did he really want though? It was revenge, right? Well, he got it and the opera he orchestrated was a big hit! He's a genius! Playing like a playboy but a well goddamned hunter when needed.
Do I even need to tell that your story rocked? I do? Okay then. You know... Your story freaking rocked my world and I spent the whole day reading it. Sure, it made me REALLY confused, but those confused emotions that tortured me were worth it. I am going to recommend this to my friends.
Stay smart and wise ;)
| hiiiiii chapter 24 . 8/23/2012
| BitterSweetWriter chapter 1 . 8/6/2012
Okay, I have put myself together now. Maybe the fact that I read this story at the dead of the night made me more speechless then I already was. You have such an amazing talent! I mean you really pulled me into this story. My neck ached from looking down and reading the story, eyes were itching at the bright screen. I really loved it. Like I said in my past review; I have tons of questions, but I'm not going to bombard you with then. Just a few though, why did Mr. Butcher only take Scythe away from his birthday party?
Also, what exactly is Cancer going to do with Angela? Is his feelings for her pure and true?
Why did Cancer take a sudden interest in Scythe and his brother? It clearly says that Cancer only wants to repay for what the Butcher family has given his family, but it's more than that isn't it? Or am I just thinking beyond this story?
Thank you for letting me reading this adventure. It was a beautiful, evil, twisted story.
| BitterSweetWriter chapter 24 . 8/6/2012
wow, just how. I mean the darkness of it all. It's just so..ah! I am a loss for words right now! Really, usually I'm great at giving reviews to great stories, but I'm just speechless. Don't worry it's a good speechless. I have a few questions though, but I'll only settle for one right now. What inspired you to write this story?
| CrimsonsNight chapter 2 . 7/28/2012
i like it, but i think there are a few issues with angels character, for one she want rayth to sin in her place. thats very selfish. i under the impression she is religious and if thats so that would mean she trying to damn their souls. further more in the bible it says more or less that think a sin is like committing the sin. but instead of acting out the sin you have sinned in your heart. I 'm not sure about all the dynamics of your story i just thought you might want to take this into consideration.
| CrimsonsNight chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
a very intriguing and intense chapter i loved the entire thing!