YAY!new chp!

ok awsome with the other stories. euphoria must continue.

Questions (not sure if it might help):

-What's really nice with Rayth? Why is he going psycho sadistic all of a sudden? Does he like Angela?

-Which one of the twins is worse than the other?

-How did Cancer get involved with all of this?

-What exactly IS this? Why are they doing this? I WANT TO KNOW!

-What's the importance of Bones?

-What's the importance of the 10 Commandments? Is it because of Angela? Their obviously not trying to keep them so are they trying to break them? They've already murdered two. If they are crossing them out, what's next?

-Why did Lynn have to die? Which one of them killed her?

-How did the Consumer fk up? Was he supposed to kill someone else, like Angela?

-What happened to Scythe?

-Did Cancer's mother really die of cancer?

-That room Rayth built, are we gonna see that again? What were in the cages? DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH BONES?

-How does the diary tie up with everything?

k! that's all i can think of for now. HOPE I HELPED!

I love this story! Please update as soon as you can!

Totally worth the wait, I say this every time but I love love love love your writing, whatever Angela's feeling translates so well through the words that the reader is scared when she's scared nervous when she's nervous and theres still an air of mystery to her intentions , and of course the other characters cause their about as mysterious and confusing as you can get- in a good way of course.

Loose ends - I don't really know of any that you probably haven't already begun sewing up but hmm...

Angela's eating habits

what is bones exactly - how do all the characters who aren't main characters fit into that...

Scythe ( he's still my fave haha), Rayth and Cancer's involvement in bones ( and possible relation to the producer consumer predator?)

I was thinking ... is Cancers mom Eleanor Hambridge? or is the time line not conducive to that ?

I don't know that those are loose ends but rather stuff you just haven't revealed , the only loose end is how and who is all connected.

Anyways super well done as usual .

-Ani

hey,

another great chapter, but a bit short. about the questions, here are some of the things that i've been comtemplating:

why did scythe's dad kidnapp him? as in, him not rayeth?

what is bones and how is it played? why do they play it? what do they mean by demons out to get them or something?

who are the producer, consumer and predator and what's their deal?

who is the little boy and what's his deal? why does he help her?

does cancer really like her?

why did they kill lynne?

what does rayeth want from angela? does he like her?

why is angela so...i dont know...so...airheaded? as in something big happens and she's like 'oh' and as if nothing happened?

thats all i can think of now, i hope that helps, and i hope you would update soon. it's really good, trust me.

cya and good luck writing.

Wow. Opening scene had me, like, O.O

Gives a whole new meaning to that prayer.

Anyhow...I'm going to do a clue-esque answer thingy. Haha. And I'm always wrong in my guesses on your story, but I try nonetheless. So you can laugh at me in all your omniscient author glory. I think that the Consumer is Scythe, the Producer is Cancer and the Predator is Rayth. Dunno why. I guess because Rayth seems like he's hiding something. I can never tell, though.

Argh! I need to know! Tellmetellmetellme!

Questions? Hmm...is there any importance to the game that all of them used to play that will come in later? Like a bigger version with humans? (Is that why Lynn died) Who killed Lynn? (I'm fairly certain you know the answer to that one, but that's me being nosy). Umm...what's Cancer's real name? And his last name? Is it Hambridge?

What's the relation/how did Rayth, Scythe, and Cancer all get involved the way they did? Like...the killing and the sadistic stuff.

Was Rayth always psychotic and we all just thought he was a cool and mature kid, or did he snap somewhere along the way (with a crazy woody the woodpecker laugh and all) and if so, wtf happened, yo?

Why does Cancer randomly snap and become uber scary?

But most importantly, what's going to happen next?

Haha. Right. These probably didn't help any at all, but I'm trying. (:

Update before the next millenia, yo.

...

Just kidding. Don't kill me. Great chapter anyhow.

P.S- hey, wait. epiphany. the consumer and the matches and the fire and the scythe being lost in it and oh! maybe i was right? possibly... i hadn't made that connection immediately, believe it or not. I'm an idiot. Sorry this is like, obnoxiously long. Ha XD

these are pretty much the main ones, but who are the consumer, producer and predator? what are they trying to do, and why? why does it involve angela?

what is WRONG with scythe and rayth? what exactly does bones entail?

who threw the cages at angela in rayth's greenhouse?

what does scythe's father want with them? why did he try to kill scythe?

yeah, that's all i can think of right now. :D

why doesn't angela eat? that bothered me. in previous chapter i thought she had an eating disorder or something.

NO Scythe isnt dead or anything right? update soon!

great chapter can't wait to read the next

so i have a question. why does angela get to wear a dress? why. it makes me want to wear one. i was supposed to wear a dress for formal day before christmas but when i went dress shopping i was feeling fat ass, so i was like. NO. i put all the dresses back and decided to just dress like a preppy biach, and i did. and felt underdressed. but chai was underdressed with me.

the moral of the story is i think angela looks fat in a dress as well so she should have went to this shindig in fancy clothes and no dress. k. my god this stresses me out.

"Night bathed me from all around. . ." well holy nafeesah. perverted so early on in the chap, are we? tsk tsk.

haha i love how it's scythe's bday bash man. and he's like crazy. it's all HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR PSYCHOPATH. yaay, you're a big kid now! see isn't that merry. isn't that skip to mah loo.

i like when angela kicked over the fake candle. like what if it had been real, and she would have set the lawn on fire. i can just imagine her fleeing the scene and blaming it on a psycho scythe. ! -plots-

and oh ho, rayth with his BUTTON UNDONE. oOh he's in league now. and how he talks of joints. like he's a stoner now. s that is big secret? he's just a stoner. how anticlimatic naff. tisk. and then he tells angela off in a posh way. all, "here here we spent one million dollas on this puppy so don't be a dickface" -end-

very suave.

did butcher and angela's mom hump or something. i bet they hump.

or maybe he humped scythe. -OUT OF LINE!-

so like bones is pretty much just a sacrifice to the hoojoos?

so when cancer and angela are all lovlov i'm like lovlov. but i know they won't have a happy ending and that's like -depress-. so i try not to feel for them two, but they're so cute. :(

:(

:(

:9 -slurp-

i know who killed lynn.

IT WAS I.

-climatic end to the review-

update soon

be a verry nice person and update PLEASE! its been 2 months :(

omg...thats all i can say, omg.

you know, i have searched for many many novels, stories, and books that might have that...horror...where it gets you totally freaked. i tried everything, RL Stine, Stephan King, James Patterson...and loads more, and there was only one that had me so freaked to the point of paranoia.

and congrats! your story managed to do just that! it actually, truely freaked the hell out of me!

but i have to say that i'm confused. what is the aim of bones? who is the producer, consumer and predator? whats their story, why is Angela caught in the middle of it all?

why did Lynn have to die? (i'm freaked at this point)

so, plz update soon!

I was wondering when you're going to update?

I read everything single chapter so far in one day - very addicting I must say, though you ARE lucky I didn't stop reading after the first 5 or so chapters.

One thing I must say though, your writing style is supremely similar to BleedingAir's (who's Seizing the Sky I adore, Clipse is awesome) but from what I have read of your writing (this one story) you seem slightly more abstract. Just as morbid, perhaps more (since her characters are generally at least nominally more sane), this story reads like a psychiatrist's coming-of-age party.

Regarding the abstract note. This is where I feel that I must prefer BleedingAir's writing slightly - during the first five chapters, I just couldn't see the point. Of course there was something disjointed about the narrative that cued me in on the fact that there was going to be a big coming-out soiree with champagne and all (and girls being stabbed by machetes), if I had less time on my hands, less perception, or less patience, I would've, quite frankly, given up and potentially missed out. My loss then, I suppose, but hey, there's always room for improvement and as superb as your writing is, you definitely have to keep the reader drawn in with more than just confusion.

On confusion, my theory is that Scythe, Raythe, and Cancer are all perfectly normal. It's Angela that's crazy. Take the first few chapters as clues - the narrative (mostly from her POV) is definitely weird. How she picks up on things that are completely obscure and ignores the big things. And what's up with those hints at her screwy family life? I quote: "I could not feel any love for the little girl" Does saying that about your little sister equal creepy or creepy? It's all in her head - there's precedent too: the Catcher in the Rye, the Tell Tale Heart, in some ways Hamlet. Whenever a story is told in first person and makes next to no sense (on details) the narrator is definitely fruity. Angela has a freaking persecution complex, if I say.

Isn't Bones a game sort of related with gambling? I searched it up on the internet and found nothing closer to the game described in the story.

Overall, lovely job, and now that I have been reeled in, I'm reeled in sink, line, and hooker