I think I'm liking Cancer. Of course, my opinion might change of him again because of what you decided to do. I can never guess right with you. You always have these unexpected twists up your sleeves...

All I can say is what? This story is too confusing for my poor weak mind. Why does Angela hang around Scythe? What's wrong with Raythe? He seems off and I don't like it. Then there's Cancer, I don't know whether to trust him or not...

Huh, I'm lost in this story. I don't know what to make of the characters. Scythe seems so...cryptic and evil. And I don't know why Angela hangs out with him. I don't like how she keeps seeking his approval and trying to be fearless. And she seems kind of...ditzy I guess. I don't know...Your writing confuses me to much. And then Raythe, he's just seems off in his own world...

I don't know what to make of them...

Wow you were right. I don't think the main point of this story was the plot, not that the plot wasn't good.

I still stand by what I already wrote. This is one of the best stories I have ever read on this site and I congratulate you.

Hm, I'm not really sure how I feel about Cancer. Part of me wants to hate him, part likes his character in a twisted sort of way, and part of me admires the way you portrayed him. As for Angel, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't like her very much.

Like I already said, amazing story!

I discovered this story last Sunday and am just reviewing to tell you that I am thoroughly confused. Great job. Haha thanks to your story, I haven't been studying for any of my finals and my Spanish project, which is due Monday, still remains unfinished. This is one of the best stories I've ever read on this site.

Does this mean that,

Angela dies?

Pleaase reply whenever you get the time, I'm super curious.

Oh, I'm intrigued! Can't wait to read more!

Sorry about this, but I am so fucking confused, you have no idea!

So Angel and Cancer were in on it together? Why? To get revenge at the family?

I've been so caught up in wanting to finish this story that I only review now! I was hooked from the beginning til the end, this plot is so twisted and crazy and genius... I'm so jealous! How do you come up with such good plots, like Catharsis?

I love Rayth, Scythe was alright and Cancer was a prick!

I do have a few questions though. So what exactly happened to Rayth and Scythe? And was there a significance in the names Scythe, Rayth (Wraith), and Cancer? Maybe I missed something, but yeah.

And why exactly did Rayth kill Lynn?

Well, all in all, wonderfully planned story. I really admire your way of concocting weirdly twisted, exciting, and adrenalin-rushing howeveryoudescribeit stories!

*cough* and after two or three years of having this bookmarked I FINALLY get around to reading it...

Anyway, this is an interesting beginning. :O Cancer, man that boy is messed up in the head, just the way I like 'em. XD Scythe sounds like you're typical brat, yet somehow lovable, and Angela...not sure yet.

Intriguing indeed. XD

On to the next one! D

You are mean to me in a nice way haha I have stayed up really late the past couple of days to read this story and then in the morning i have to get up for school early i have been so tired in school its horrible Anyways i loved this story it was very differnt and i was hooked fast i couldnt figure out the ending and thats what i liked most about it It was unpredictable the whole time i was trying to figure out what was going on and then in the last chapter everything fell into place I really liked the suspense Thanks for the great story!

:

Dude, this is one fucked up story, but that doesn't mAke it any less amazing! I'm llookng forward to check out ur other pieces!

OMG! I LOVED THIS STORY! Although, some of it was a little confusing, and I donno if I'm just dumb and missed it, but did they say exactly what Angel did? It wasnt stressed very much, so that was kind of confusing.

Anyway, I read this in about 7 hours, give or take a few... This is a deffinate fave! And I LOVE the way you write. So descriptive.

my dear, you are truly amazing. upon first glance, this chapter is almost sweet in the sense of its simplicity, length, and topic. however, being the me that i am, i found a whole other layer to it – it builds her relationship with both scythe and rayth, as well as introduces pippa (who is going to be a regular character or not, i don’t yet know). the feel to angela’s voice is fitting – i can already see that she’s a source of goodness within the story, and that perhaps, scythe, rayth, and cancer will try to corrupt her.

the hints that you leave are wonderful (“Now, though, I didn’t fall. / I knew I never would.”) that line is just powerful. it makes you think, is she going to fall? and if she did fall, what are the implications? my main thought: who pushed her? angela doesn’t seem the type to fall on her own.

i love the italicized portion at the end, and i hope those are a regular part of your chapters. the words that you choose when angela isn’t speaking is almost more important than the ones that you say when she is speaking… erm, it’s late, and I don’t know if I make sense anymore because my head is spinning like whoa.

the only suggestions i have for you are character/setting descriptions. I think that your setting ones are nice – “The moon, a sphere of knitted white, gazed down at me” - you could just use a few more, especially describing the outside of the house. i want to say that the house is made of stone, but i’m not sure. when i gushed to you today about this story, you said that there were some character descriptions in this chapter, or perhaps chapter two – i can’t remember – but i have yet to read the descriptions. i think that a hint of their appearances will help the reader to form the right picture, as well as help with upping the tone and the haunty even more! i’m not too sure what to picture at this point, but i have a feeling the scythe and rayth somewhat look alike, and that scythe is more haunting than rayth.

again, brilliant work, mypakistanitwin. i read every word, at least twice. usually, i skim, but I can see the exactness in your choice of language, and i know that this story will get confusing – er, not confusing exactly, but it will def weed out those who aren’t willing to put the time and effort into understanding it. you code things, which you’ve told me, and i’m wondering about that code atm. i can’t wait until you touch on the corruption, as it is teaching me something for my revamp of that fate story that i need to get on once I finish the memoirs and other stuffs. ]

thanks so much for this – it is exactly what i NEED to pull me out of the ikkle rut i’ve fallen into the past few years. the best thing i’ve written are the memoirs, and everything else is just like *splat* and i think that after finishing preddy, twill help me to design a better plot schema for the fate story. plusplusplus, you is a brilliant writer, and if this does ever get published, i will buy at least two copies. (more if it’s ever sold in spanish.)

loveyousomuchmypakistanitwin,

liz

So, all along, Scythe's aim was to get Angela to sin for being self-righteous, and Cancer's aim was to get rid of the culprits of his ancestor's pain...

I loved your story, though I feel that it lacks detail and not all loose ends were tied. It was a good read though. xD

Tsu