|Reviews for Farewell|
| Nicki BluIs chapter 1 . 8/29/2008
FOR WASTING 48HRS OF YOUR LIFE ON THE RM HERE IS YOUR PRIZE!
This poem really caught my eye with the summary. I liked the image you set up with it and it put the poem in perspective. It could however been a tad less specific since the poem could really apply to any tow lovers not just medeval lovers on a battlefield.
On to the poem. I'm a sucker for repitition so I loved this. I do feel that if you planned to use "thou" you should have used that form throughout the poem. I also think "bid you" should be used in the place of "say" in the 2nd and 4th lines for enhanced parallelism. finally i would change either "silent" or "wordless" to another more powerful adjective. "loving" conveys a clear emotion while the other two are bit empty.
So there's your prize winner! Don't you wish you got a T-shirt instead?
| Mockingbyrd's Tune chapter 1 . 8/17/2008
Medieval times! Glad you put the explanation in the summary. It made reading your poem more delightful.
“After you leave me amidst this Chaos” – very plaintive and touching.
You’ve got a gift for writing meaningful verse. M.T.
| Vanilla Tea chapter 1 . 3/23/2008
Aww, I really like this poem, especially how its set in the medieval times. And I really like how it doesn't just repeat "I say Farewell," it changes. I really wouldn't change anything in this...I think its good.
Courtesy of Fight for the Freebie!
| Johannas mirror chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
Not as strong as some of your others. This poem just doesn't have anything especially...BAM, you know? But don't be angry, i love your work.
| LyricsArePoetry chapter 1 . 2/28/2008
Aww this is lovely!
| doctor's diagnosis chapter 1 . 2/27/2008
Reading the first line, I didn't understand how this was a love poem, but as I kept reading, it just clicked.
I like the recurring "Farewell" a lot, but I'm not so sure about how it's capatilized everytime. If you want it that way it's cool and all, but I just don't see a reason.
I like the couplet form of this, it makes it easy to read and keeps the pace of the poem.
Now that I think about it, I like how Chaos, End, and Farewell are capitalized. Not sure why it is, but I like it.
I love the wording, with "thou" and "bid" and "amidst". It makes this poem something original and different.
My favorite is probably the third section. That one really makes it a love poem.
One thing that confuses me, is at the begining it's talking about how "thou hast been slain" and in the end the speaker is "waiting for my End". Does that mean they're just waiting for the end because it's not worth living without the person they're farewell-ing?