Reviews for Channel Surfing
Forget Me chapter 2 . 1/12/2009
Hehehe. I enjoyed this profusely, especially when the televangelists came into play.

It totally reminds me of an old record that my father owns- firesign theater or something to the effect- and one of the tracks is just the sounds a man's television makes as he clicks through them.
J'Adore Les Phoques chapter 2 . 10/21/2006
ME: Hey, that was funny.


HARVEY THE BUNNY: ... freak!

I liked the first chapter better, but this is still a good one.
Orual chapter 2 . 9/24/2006
That was amazing. I especially liked the televangelist bit. They always make me laugh.
shawn brady chapter 1 . 9/18/2006
I think you're my new best friend. That was... amazing. I normally don't laugh at stuff like that but it was amazing. Props.
Ozzy Stormberry chapter 1 . 9/16/2006
Novelist chapter 2 . 9/15/2006
I think I ruptured my spleen(from laughing, in case you didn't realize that)...incredibly
The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 2 . 9/13/2006
Bad combination for reviewing today. 1) Fever, sore throat, 2) One of my favorite authors wants to give up writing, 3) The disparaging review you left on m34n00b's site on his piece, "Shut Up", plus the even more disparaging thing you left on his journal. But I already pissed and moaned about it, so I'll get off of it. Just go read what I wrote. This will not effect the quality of reviews that I give you.

Thankfully enough, I read this about an hour before paying attention to anything you said to m34. But it just didn't do it for me, and now I know why.

So, let me start.

I think the first chapter holds more magic because it seemed effortless, carefree and hilarious. Maybe because your humor mechanism is very consistent, I feel kind of glazed over.

[(INDIANA JONES, SHORT ROUND, AND THAT BLONDE LADY ARE WATCHING A GRUESOME CEREMONY IN WHICH A HEART IS REMOVED FROM A LIVING MAN)] I think, the better edit would be: "in which a heart is TO BE removed from a living man" since, the heart isn't quite removed.

I think that if the Demon Guy had a weird language that needed translation, it would be funnier. Like, his weird, cryptic words, and then subtitles:

DEMON GUY: (PULLS OUT KIDNEY) Arashna duttaduddabutt, ko'shna barachza!

Subtitles: LOL shit, kidney.

Something like that. Because physical comedy is only funny if the perspective and scope of that physical comedy is funny.

The Fake Doctor one lacked direction. It just felt... weird, you know? Maybe because it took too long to get to any real type of punch line.

Okay, now the Laguna Beach one was hilarious. I mean, the commentary and the voices were hilarious. The best part was the surfer dude.

[SURFER GUY: Hey, girls, want to see me sway my pretty hair in the wind? My life is so dramatic!]

LOL! That was hilarious. I totally heard Keanu Reeves, which was like XD XD XD.

And even if the situation is extreme, some people are like that, which is disturbing as hell.

[BLONDE #2: I know, girl, it’s like, how on earth can you make yourself prettier and therefore better than everyone else unless you have a lot of money? You can’t, duh!”] This part seems a little overdone. It needs some tailoring. Maybe take out the "You can't, duh!" part. That makes it too trite. And I think blonde girls know how to use rhetorical questions. I'll give 'em that much. XD;;

The Preacher one was too long, like the doctor one. Everyone knows this scenario, why not just write something like this:


Preacher: (organ playing) "The LAWD will take away yo affliction! Come, and I will proceed with the laying on of hands."

Healthy-Looking Man: "Uh. Okay?" (walks up to pulpit)

Preacher: (puts on boxing gloves)



The Worfloid one seems to be the sister of the other one about the diet coke, but you know what it really reminds me of? Do you remember that friggin' infomercial about the... what do you call it. Alright, that thing that people wear on their abdomen that sends a stimulating shock through the muscles to get them to contract, and the infomercial is filled with people sitting on their asses, watching TV with smiles on their faces while this contraption shocks them into having perfect bodies? I don't know, it's just really fucked up.

[It’s Mickey Xtreme, the new series featuring Mickey as a high powered cyborg secret agent with a Japanese Katana and mind reading powers! Follow him as he and Minnie, now a saucy sidekick with jujitsu skills and the power to create force fields, hunt down the evil Goofy, who now has a medieval flail for a hand and a grudge the size of the Grand Canyon.] LOL!1

This was great. The wording was perfect, too. God, the day when Disney style meets Anime.

OH, WAIT. Teen Titans. XD!

[DON”T MISS THIS SHOW!] Instead of this line, maybe a finishing line from Mickey or Goofy would be pretty funny.


Goofy: GAWRSH, MICKEY. I can't forgive you for getting that new contract with Buena vista behind my back. Uh-hyuck." (cue dramatic techno music with angel voices)

Something like that.

The last section had a lot of potential, but man, it was overkill along with the Doctor and the Preacher skits.

My favorite one is the one I saved for last. I thought this one was the most clever one:





That one was game over. I was going to stop reading, just so I could pull up a review box and paste this in as my first. But it's my last. That was just perfect, and it had the best taste to me. But of course, it wouldn't have been funny if we had read the ones before it or the first chapter.

I think it could also go pretty well with the first chapter, though.

The humor here was more conscious and less random. We could connect a lot of these skits together, so it's not as random as channel surfing.

Appendix skit (kiddish surgery) to doctor skit (who is a total ditz) to Laguna Beach (blonde, materialistic ditzes) to Preacher (who is greedy and hypocritical). Do you see what I mean? Maybe if you scramble them around a bit more, it won't feel so awkward.

The first one was magic, and though the second one had its moments, there were a lot of things that need editing.


... *EXCEPT.

hahaha It goes without saying. To have enough material for a second says enough about your creativity. It's a merit in itself to even try creating another one. It wasn't half bad. If this were the first one and the first one were the second, I might even probably have the same comments. It's hard to return back to the original. I admit that much.

Still good, though.

Rock on, E.F.!
Mr.Satire chapter 2 . 9/12/2006
This was AWESOME! You got quite a lot of laughs out of me! I would tell you which parts I like the most, but I like ALL of them. I guess if you really made me choose, it'd be the Mickey Mouse Xtreme high-powered cyborg/psychic/katana-wielding secret agent! I love the added part about Goofy having a medieval flail for a hand! That's hilarious! The only thing that would've made this "tail-kickin'" chapter any better is if you had put "&$#$" instead of that cuss word. You just have an irresistable urge to sneak one in, don't you?

Other than that one, very small detail, this chapter was XTREMEly funny!
The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 1 . 9/8/2006

O man.

The Breakdancing Ninja gives this piece a 5 out of 5 for hilarity. And that's it. Refer to the criticism below for more details.

I don't feel like correcting grammar for this piece; I seriously don't have the heart to. It's too funny and I don't want to kill it.

[(BOY PULLS OUT BOWIE KNIFE) BOY: Give me the gun or I’ll slit your jolly red throat!] I wasn't sure what to expect when I came here to read this. I have just read the first chapter of Change the World (did I get the title down?), and I was like. Okay, I'm pretty alright with humor. I could find anything funny if I think about it enough, but dude. This really surprised me. I went: Holy shit. :O

I could imagine the look on Santa's face. Man, it's totally South Park-worthy.

[WARNING! Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, rectal leakage, brain lesions, hair loss, genital shrinkage, leprosy, partial paralysis, goiter, psychosis, and violent death.] Okay, yeah, I don't understand why the hell people take these crazy pills for things they don't really need to worry about. I could understand cancer or HiV or something else really bad, but not for like headaches or any of this other crap. It's insane. Especially with commercials that say: "May risk nausea or extreme diarrhea. Must not use if you have previous heart conditions or are pregnant." I'm like: O_O wut?

[OTHER KID: Napoleon, the only reason people like you so much is because you suck, and it makes them feel better about themselves UGLY KID: LIGERS!(!)!(!)]



[BILLY BOB WHATEVER THE CRAP] HAHAHA It's like, you could tell who's incestuous down South just by asking what they're names are.

O man. That was racist. I'mma put that back in my pocket. roflmao


I can't get over that one. That was the one that made me laugh out loud.

[GERALD: I hate my life. Does anyone actually watch this? For God’s sake, watch a game show or something! This show blows!] I think you could eliminate this piece of dialogue, because it kind of detracts how hilarious the revealing of the waffle was. No, I really mean that.

And, aesthetically, to choose a waffle instead of a pancake was pretty good. It's just more funny with a waffle than it is a pancake.

[REPUBLICAN: Blah, blah, blah, bomb Iraq, blah, blah, blah, raise taxes, blah, blah, blah.

DEMOCRAT: Yadda, yadda, yadda, stem cell research, yadda, yadda, yadda, gay rights, yadda, yadda, yadda.] ROFLMAO! I know. God. That's exactly how it is. I think the EMCEE part should be cut out (okay, that's two lines). It's too trite. It takes away from how extremely funny and truthful the politicians are.

[PIRATE: Damn hearing aids broke! Ok, one more time kids, please!] roflmao

[(BEAR RIPS OFF HIS ARM AND STARTS CHEWING ON IT, AND THE CROC WRANGLER LOOKS AMAZED)] Dude. Steve Irwin died from a stingray-a FRIGHTENED stingray. He, the almight Croc Hunter, was filming a children's documentary when he died, too! And he has a wife and kids, so every time they want to remember him and how he died, they could just watch this extremely disturbing tape of him. It's ironic that he died from a stingray instead of a crocodile. But at least he didn't die somewhere else, doing something else, you know? But the disturbing tape part is the worst. You know that one day, they're going to air a bit of it. Like on CNN or something.


[BUTCH CHICK #2: And that dinner you have prepared; now it’s got to go. Quiche…what is that? You need a pizza and a beer!] I didn't know what quiche was until a fear years ago. rofl

This was witty, fast paced, and fucking HILARIOUS, which is how I like it. And even if the topics were vulgar, the way they were depicted were really hilarious. It was pretty clean for all the strange, dirty-laundry allusions that it had.

I don't know, it was just a great read. I'm glad I had something to top off my night. I'm done. This was excellent; there's not much more I could say. Humor usually softens the blow on my otherwise constructively abusive reviews. It cripples my analysis of certain pieces, because I'm too concerned with how funny things are. Not to say that there aren't a SERIOUS number of disturbing social commentaries in each of these snippets.

ie: Murderous intentions at such a young age, and ungratefulness, use of excessive force to get what we want.

ie2: the advance of medicine: what path is it taking us down? At what point do we draw the line between hypochondriac and necessary medication?

ie3: the comedy in movies nowadays compared to older comedy, like, "Some Like it Hot" with Jack Lemon and Marilyn Monroe.

ie4: talk shows and sensationalist T.V.-and yes, this includes "reality" T.V. What messages and themes are becoming dominant among the general demographic who watches T.V., and how did someone like Jerry Springer get popular? And also, the fact that people like that actually exist: where does morality and sound judgment come into play?

ie5: how different are politicians, really? they want to persuade us of something, keep their positions, and do whatever is necessary to keep their positions, even if it means slightly different platforms? the ethics of politics and the law, as well as human development. (But dude, "bomb iraq", "raise texes", "stem cell research" and "gay rights" were the most perfect things you could have picked for the topics each of them say. And the fact that "blah" and "yadda" are just two variants of the same humdrum to get us to vote for one side or the other. the words, especially repeated have a subliminal effect, which is another issue: propaganda.)

ie6: cartoons (hahaha) and crocodiles

ie: gender roles and how rapidly they're changing, especially in a more liberal society

See how many disturbing topics this piece brings up? It's a very accomplished piece. I enjoyed reading every line of it, and I hope to see more of this in the near future.

We could just go on and on about what disturbances this piece subtly suggests, but man, I just enjoyed the read.

This is going in my favorites.

Rock fuckin' ON, E.F.
Persistent Vegetative State chapter 1 . 9/2/2006
1. You are short and fat, and describe yourself as a hobbit. That pretty much excludes you from commenting about other people for the next two thousand years.

2. It's a shame God decided to make you smart but not pretty, because he happened to make all three of us both smart and quite handsome.

3. It's funny you say one of our works is a carbon copy of m34n00b's work, because every single item we have posted dates back to June, whereas m34n00b's one and only work was posted just a few days ago. Do you understand the concepts of math and time? Apparently not.

4. "It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer." Direct quote from the bottom of the window which allows users to post reviews or comments such as these. Not how 'critique' is related to the word "criticism" and not "advice." You tell me which is more welcome here, and which is more useful.

5. We do not go around posting reviews to people in order to piss people off or otherwise insult them. Besides occassionally recommending our work, or announcing that a particular piece has been commended by tFS, we refrain from associating with anyone. This means only one thing: you chose to go to our site, so as far as I'm concerned, you can go fuck yourself when you complain and whine about what we do (especially since what you say we do and what we actually do are no where near accurate.)

I'm sorry you can't take a bit of humour in your life. It must be LoTR rubbing off onto your grasp of sanity, how pathetic.
J'Adore Les Phoques chapter 1 . 8/25/2006
Wow. That was wonderful - I could pay attention well because of the shortness of the snippets of late-night TV. I particularly liked the political debate and the aftertaste aid ad.
Dee-Pea chapter 1 . 8/25/2006
Billy- Bob- Joe- Dick- Ron- Bo- Bice- Enis McGoo...I bit my tongue couple of times trying to say that name as fast as possible...or maybe that's because I'm trying to say it while I'm rolling on the floor laughing my ass off...
scotti chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
Moral of the story is...If your parents had just gotten you that Red Ryder BB Gun for christmas like you asked for, then you could have put your eye (oh what the heck-eyes- we'll make it plural) out and you wouldn't have to suffer through whats on Tv. But then again that eposide about the waffle looked to be intriguing...Had daytime TV award written all over it. Great Job, funny as heck!( gotta go, my beer is getting warm and the game is on!) Scottie
Mr.Satire chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
This is HILARIOUS! My face has pins-and-needles from laughing so hard, and I didn't even know that was possible. I'm probably going to feint now, and it will be all your fault, BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT! It was an excellent first attempt: write more humor in the future.
multiples of six chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
Hehe. This made me giggle a few times. I like the last one in particular xD
17 | Page 1 2 Next »