|Reviews for Virgins|
| kunoichi-socks chapter 1 . 1/5/2010
I don't think I liked this one as much as your other one. Realism is a big issue for me, I don't think any self respecting girl would agree to have sex with an old friend who casually asked with only considering it for one night. I think if you had portrayed her internal conflict more and really gotten inside her head when he brought it up it would have made it more realistic. Also, the fact that he so easily asked her for what he could have so long ago seemed a little bit off too. If any guy friend of mine asked me to casually have sex in the way that your character asked Rachel, I would consider him to be a skeezy slime ball. Don't get discouraged, you're on your way to becoming a really good writer, but I think this one could use a little bit of work.
Write on ]
| Masquerade hide your face chapter 1 . 8/2/2009
This would be a good story to continue. I would really like to see it go on more. It could turn into a really nice love story.
| Le Cosmonaute chapter 1 . 5/25/2009
Hi there! We were both on the mailing list from Muse Bunny, so I thought I'd give your stories a read.
This is a really interesting idea-not just the story itself but the idea that once a person has sex, relationships change. One thing though, is the transitions-they're very abrupt, going from school to Craig's bedroom, to Rachel's bedroom, to school. A line break or something like o in between scenes would be nice. But otherwise, it's well written, well thought-out, and I really enjoyed it.