|Reviews for The Other Prince|
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 20 . 3/2/2014
This is good, a really good plot, but I sometimes feel like chunks of it are missing. Like, there should be an extra sentence or two in between this happening and that happening because sometimes things just seem to happen for no reason? For example (I can't remember which chapter) but there was a point when the bars his his red face behind his lute but no explanation given for that?
| Disney Is Hardcore chapter 11 . 3/1/2014
...what on earth is going on?
| loivissa17 chapter 9 . 11/17/2013
i'm looking forward to reading the rest of it, :) :D
| DreamlessCreature chapter 2 . 10/9/2010
| DreamlessCreature chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
| Brenda Agaro chapter 31 . 1/31/2009
Interesting story. I enjoyed reading it. There were some minor mistakes I found, but still it's good.
| Brenda Agaro chapter 6 . 1/31/2009
One small correction: In the sentence "...reminding me of the her presence." I believe "the" should be omitted.
Also, in the sentence "She had a round face was framed with dark hair..." I believe "that" should be between face and was.
Sorry if it seems like I'm nitpicking on the small errors, but I just want to let you know.
During the part where the main character is describing the dream, I could suggest you could put description (for imagery) about the dream (the colors, the sound of the screams to show how it's a nightmare).
| Brenda Agaro chapter 4 . 1/31/2009
One small correction: The sentence "I saw see wetness spread slowly on his pants." I believe "see" should be omitted.
So far this is interesting. And the showing of what's happening was nicely written.
| Brenda Agaro chapter 3 . 1/31/2009
Small corrections: In the sentence "...if I kept still and not breath..." breathe is misspelled. Also, in the sentence "...and limp towards castle." I believe there should be "the" between towards and castle (unless you intended it to be that way).
| Brenda Agaro chapter 2 . 1/31/2009
Good start. I like the characterization of the mother. There are some parts where I can suggest that you show rather than tell (ex: "Mother drummed her fingers on the arm of the throne impatiently. She growled." Maybe you could show description of her body language and facial features to show the readers that she is impatient and that she growled).
One small correction: In the sentence "...nearly falling in as the pushed the doors." "the" should be "they"
| M.R.Sanner chapter 31 . 5/31/2008
Congratulations on finishing this story ! That is a feat onto itself to be able to finish something that is . This story has been a true pleasure to read from the very beggining to the very end . Will has always been such a great character and ever since Ryn has came into the story so has she (I really do adore her) and of course the Mother, evil bitch that she is , is an awesume character .
The ending was cute and is there going to be a sequeal ? If so that would be awesume ! And if not it is a good ending of it entirely .
Once again congratulations on finishing !
| PrincessVeryTea chapter 31 . 4/21/2008
That was sweet, but surely it can't end there!
| Kayla Christine chapter 30 . 3/26/2008
Oh my God it's done :( that's so sad... I can't believe I've been gone so long that everyone has finished their stories! It was amazing and I hope to see more from you soon!
I've updated Chasing Princes with and EXTRA long chapter, if you'd like to read!
| Tris Kirk chapter 2 . 6/29/2007
I like where this is going. It is very twisted and intriguing. Your words flow well, and I don't have anything to suggest except maybe using more of the vast vocabulary you have. Good job!
| Mistress of Shadows chapter 25 . 4/6/2007
Once again, a stunning installment.
The twists just keep coming, and I love how the story is progressing. There's the tiniest tease of a romance between Ryn and Will, Phil is at once dysfunctional and normal, and the Queen...
Well, all that to say - you're an amazing writer and I look forward to the next chapter.