|Reviews for Do You See The Laughter In Her Eyes?|
| Alyssa's Attic chapter 1 . 8/31/2006
Good rhyming made this poem flow really well and i like the sort of cliffhanger quesiton at the end :)
| WickedSilence chapter 1 . 8/31/2006
This is good. Interesting, and good. I think you portray the theme in a clever way, contrasting the concept of happy laughter with agony and death.
I do have two suggestions, though. "I as good as told her to it do" should change to "...as told her to do it" because there doesn't seem to be a point in reversing "it" and "do" out of normal word order. Also, "And now I wish I'd went a different way" should probably be "...I'd gone a different way." The mistake in English grammar once again does not seem to serve a poetic purpose, therefore maybe you should change it for reading ease.
Otherwise, like I said above, it's a good poem. I hope you keep up the good work.