|Reviews for Doctor Cerebellum Torture
| Shadow Gryphon chapter 7 . 4/5/2007
Very intruiging... The chapters have gotten quite a bit longer, haven't they? Enjoyable to read.
I'm still wondering just what it is that the Doctor wants to know about. Also, his tea. Is there something in it? Because he drnak it to calm down.
| Shadow Gryphon chapter 6 . 4/5/2007
Hm... So this is Earth, if AU. Interesting...
The Doctor is very confident. I wonder if he isn't overly so. Pointing out that he's installed bombs seems risky, especially if the General has engineers in to disable them.
| Shadow Gryphon chapter 5 . 4/5/2007
"I was beginning to think I could hear missiles in the background. I can? But you’re firing them. Well, that’s not a problem, is it?"
Brilliant, brilliant line.
I'm curious as to why the Doctor though his daughter wasn't breaking radio silence if she contacted him via a phone. Is there some other technology present?
| Shadow Gryphon chapter 4 . 4/5/2007
And the plot thickens. Very good chapter; couldn't find any mistakes with it. And now there's The Agency and a general, too.
| Shadow Gryphon chapter 3 . 4/5/2007
Hm... So it's for information. I assumed as much. What information, though?
"No freedom of movement no options no reading material." You'll need commas between those. It's a list, after all. Unless it was to show that the Doctor was speaking more quickly?
Last line was a very good one to end with.
| Shadow Gryphon chapter 2 . 4/5/2007
As before, the Doctor is amusing. The way you slide in those mentions of 'fixing', though, suggests that something not quite normal is going on.
"sooner or later it was inevitably" is redundant. Either "sooner or later" or "inevitably" would work alone.
| Shadow Gryphon chapter 1 . 4/5/2007
I can see why you said this would be different. I quite like it, though; the Doctor has an entertaining voice.
Only one grammar error springs to mind: "like it were a rash" should be "like it was a rash". Otherwise, I can't see anything of note.
Now, let's see what the good Doctor has learned...
| Celebuial chapter 7 . 10/29/2006
Man! This is great! Your dialogue really IS wonderful. You can almost imagine the responses to him as he talks. It takes good skill to write dialogue that describes the plot, yet is still convincing as dialogue.
I greatly appreciate the reviews to my story, all your critiques were good and true. The whole reason I post my stories is to make them better by the help of higher quality writers than myself.
I hope to read more of your stories, but right now I have to go to Church. :P
| John Michael Christopher chapter 7 . 10/11/2006
The doctor's still pretty funny. He's just crazy enough to think up something like moving the agent back and forth across a room. It's like the the bombs in chapter 6. He's just crazy enough to actually plant those, too. Entertaining character. Looking forward to chapter 8.
| NovelJ chapter 1 . 9/25/2006
Hi, first off I wanna say thanks for reviewing my story. i know there's alot of spelling erors but I wrote it sorta late a night so ya...
Anyway on to your story... The guy sounds a little crazy, but it seems like it could be an interesting story. My only problem, and this may be becuase I've only read the first chapter, is the it doesn't seem that discriptive. The words are just there, if that makes sense. Anyway, I've got alot of make-up HW so I'll try to read some more maybe tommorow.
| John Michael Christopher chapter 5 . 9/24/2006
This is one of the most enjoyable works I've read. I hope it's not finished yet. That doctor's hilarious. The characterization that's filtered through his mind is hilarious. I love that espionage plays a small role. This was a cool story.
| Icewall42 chapter 4 . 9/7/2006
I love the tone of this character, the Doctor. I think you do a very good job of being consistent with the tone, as well. I rather enjoyed the attitude of the Doctor, the things he says and does.
Also, I think you do well with how you present details, a little at a time, and slowly reveal the circumstances of the story.
However, there was more than one occasion where I got confused and had to go back and read the sections. The transitions between the chapters might have to be just a little more fluid. As a reader, I also had a difficult time telling whether or not the Doctor was a torturer/breaker by trade, or an actual doctor. He mentions breaking the rogue agent and having a lot of experience in doing so, but he also mentions having never lost any of his "patients." Are the two things related? Has the Doctor never broken someone so far that he or she died?
Also, while the grammar and spelling are good, I noticed some typos and some breaks in the fluidity of the sentences, so you might like to pay extra close attention to those on the next draft.
Overall, this is a very good, interesting draft. I know that I enjoyed reading it. I'd like to see where this goes in the future. Just keep in mind that a piece like this can become confusing very quickly, so extreme care is needed in its execution. A few more telling details, here and there, would be a plus (but not too many details!)