|Reviews for The Assassin's Honor|
| WyrdWolf chapter 4 . 2/24/2007
Ah, onto civilization and the hunt for information. Madleh's rich, too, I presume? That can't make it any easier; he's probably got a ton of trained guards around him every moment of every day.
Wow, that was the definition of ambush. Sitting down to some nice stew and suddenly a plethora of arrows rains down on you. This is why I avoid stew; it usually has bad implications.
When Priam said 'here', it should be 'hear'. Easy mistake.
*whistles* Priam barely lifted a finger and chased away a group of armed soldiers who had an unbelievable advantage over them. I applaud him.
| WyrdWolf chapter 3 . 2/19/2007
Well, Volker’s pretty smart, but then again, he has to be. Still, I wonder if he planned on Conner and Priam knowing exactly what his plan was—assuming they’re right, that is.
*whistle* Maybe Priam has just been taking a lot of vitamins. He sure is spry for an almost-ninety-year-old.
I like the description of the Dhertan Ridges, ‘the spine of the world.’ That’s really cool.
There are a couple spots in the dialogue where you’re missing a “ either at the front or the beginning. Nothing major, but something you might want to touch up.
‘One of the ruling families of the Solourn, though that means anything anymore.’ Mayhap ‘anything’ should be ‘nothing’. Otherwise he’s just rambling.
Hm, so Conner and Priam go way back. And my vitamin guess was wrong. Damn. That’s very cool, though, and an interesting fact about blood-drawn runes. And now they’re out to kill Madleh. Good. The whole thing seems to pinpoint when their goal is clear.
| WyrdWolf chapter 2 . 2/7/2007
They seem to be in a pretty tough predicament. Still, they're assassins, and they're trained to persever no matter how difficult the challenge, so that's what they'll do.
At least there's no turmoil in the group, since Conner and Priam seem to have dismissed that little spat. Turmoil within the assassins could prove a worse enemy than what they are to face.
Good chapter, nice and slow, kind of a development of what is to come.
| WyrdWolf chapter 1 . 2/2/2007
Ah, so Erynn's keeping an eye on Lysander. It's kind of sweet...I wonder if perhaps they'll get to meet up in this sequel.
Interesting how their element skills are not limited solely for assassinations and killing. Gives it a neat edge, a feeling of...identity.
I could get into this. It's cool to see more or less secondary characters on a rather important mission.
| Suspicious Wheat Lump chapter 8 . 1/17/2007
I'm back (though briefly).
Interesting move with Connor and Priam at the tavern. The use of runes is very interesting (again). It's not often you see real magic in stuff at fp (as in magic that has some history to it, not just girl discovers magical powers. What happened to voodoo, and curses and good ole'fashion sacred rituals?).
I think you might need to explain the silencing rune a bit more though cause I was confused. So, if no sound is made from anything they touch, why are they alowed to speak?
Also, just a writing thing, you started two sentences consecutively with 'Conner'. Things like that seem repetative when read out loud.
Black cloaks - mysterious? Never!
Alright. until next time i get a grab at the internet - adieu.
Mysterious Reviewer who cant seem to Sign In at the Internet Cafe.
| Burnt Bread chapter 7 . 11/28/2006
Ah... bad me for not reviewing. I read this chapter a long while back, and I thought I'd left a review, but evidently not.
Connor's a tricky little bastard. Very smart. Arden seems to be in the role of a following apprentice of the two master minds. He's good for a side character that keeps things going, and for an extra pair od eyes, but I'd like to see more of a personality.
Ha! The old switcheroo with the capes! (been saving that line for so long)
I like the way your dialogue style has evolved. There's alot more humor in the conversation, which gives a more realistic portrayal of friends... I mean, friends joke, right? It shows that Conner and Priam are very tight indeed.
And as soon as my holidays come around (next week) I'll be sure to keep reading, but now, I return to poo trudging. Got some catching up to do with this story... Oh gosh, I've given you advice, but you may have already improved in the following chapters! What to do, what to do...
| kitsune chapter 9 . 11/26/2006
oh, now we're getting intot the thick of things. _
so Lysander is being corrupted by his hatred huh... poor guy.
| Sakka-Fenikkusu chapter 9 . 11/22/2006
“Because likely, you’ll have to kill tonight. The first blood on your hands, Erynn. And believe me, the first blood doesn’t come off as easy as the blood that comes after. Do you understand?”
“No I’m—” she started, trying to stall for time. It didn’t take long before his throat was a geyser of blood, cut quickly and neatly by Conner.
Erynn slid an arm around his waist, and buried her face in the folds of his cloak. They stood in silence for a moment, and Conner rocked her slowly, “You alright?”
This was a nice chapter. I liked it. _ *not revealing anything this time*
7h4nks 4 d4 c00ki3 b4by! *hyper*
| Sakka-Fenikkusu chapter 8 . 11/14/2006
ERYNN! *glomp!* Yay! That was really really unexpected... this chapter was really fun, too! I loved it!
Didn't you say Ly'd be in this chapter...? Eh, I guess it's the next one.
When that cookie-baby comes... I want fifty percent! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Doesn't it feel good that you've motivated me? :)
| Sakka-Fenikkusu chapter 7 . 11/14/2006
Oh, fun sneakiness! They are so clever... I loved the whole cloak thing. Very nice.
| Sakka-Fenikkusu chapter 6 . 11/14/2006
Awesome illusion-y thing! It was very cool and... poor flipping guards.
"Conner smiled to himself at the man’s condescending tone towards the child. Any man who didn’t respect children deserved what he had coming."
I WILL get some of that cookie-baby.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 8 . 11/11/2006
1) "Priam’s figure joined his, and the man knelt beside him to pin the man." You've got a lot of ambiguity there.
2) "He attempted to continue, but Conner leaned over and his elbow made contact with Priam’s midsection. The older assassin’s mouth moved, but no noise came out. He swatted Conner’s elbow away, and glared." You have a slightly...er, James Bond approach to demonstrating new abilities. It's cool.
3)"He sat down beside her and pulled a small vial from his belt... 'how do you feel?'" That section was nicely done, and surprisingly delicate.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 7 . 11/11/2006
1) “We’ve not had a normal stay at an inn for a week. Last nights attack and retreat, the night before that we were turned away. Before that, there was the place with all the rats, and before that, the run in with the pickpocket.” Nice infusion of humor.
2)“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you when he’s not looking. Then you can look, fair? Let’s not draw attention to the fact that we know they are watching us.” Another nice use of humor, irony, and scene transition.
3) "Bowls of hot stew rested in front of them, each showing a different level of consumption." Maybe the wording there is a little too...scholarly for such a simple observation. It feels weird.
4) Otherwise, solid chapter.
| Solemn Coyote chapter 6 . 11/11/2006
That's a very complicated subterfuge you have Conner working. Nice. Also, I like the demon's name. Yawdin manages to evoke all the right emotions while still sounding appropriate. My only possible critiques is there's a lot of hinting at an unseen enemy, and then suddenly Connor casts a demon illusion. It feels a little anticlimactic. Then again, it might be cliched to wait on revealing the demon until he attacks the heroes.
| Sakka-Fenikkusu chapter 5 . 11/11/2006
My imagination is spazzing. I blame you.
Still trying to get over my RE. I blame you for that, too.