Reviews for In passing
TechEmpath1 chapter 1 . 9/17/2006
You have an amazing ability with words. Thanks for your great work.
dodi ma chapter 1 . 9/15/2006
Hm. Interesting. I've never seen anything like this. That's generally a good thing. "Helium filled thinking machine", I like that. The random images are a cool touch.
sothetruthhurts chapter 1 . 9/13/2006
It’s delightfully ironic that your penname is “Ashley Hates Bad Poetry” when bad poetry is exactly what you write. I’ve looked at some of what you written, and you honestly one of the worst writers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. You should be shot merely because you exist to write such god-awful trash. Sure, there are people on this site who know less about writing and who have pieces riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. You aren’t that type of bad writer.

You’re the insufferable type of writer who writes mediocre work and thinks that they are wonderful pieces of art. You’re the type of arrogant bastard who thinks you know what you’re doing. You’re the type of pathetic shit that goes around correcting other when you’re really a clueless moron. You have delusions of grandeur. And you should be tortured and killed for having them.

Now… about this particular piece….

First off, the diction in this is – at the very best – lackluster. There are no interesting phrases in this piece that the reader could reflect upon or enjoy. There are no striking images to make this poem eye candy for the mind’s eye. In fact, there aren’t even any original thoughts expressed in this entire poem. I have seen everything you said in this said before – and said much more eloquently and interestingly. If you don’t have anything original to say, DON’T SAY ANYTHING. We don’t want to hear you regurgitate what those better than you have already said.

Also, the metaphors you attempted to employ in this are both shallow and hollow. They are one-dimensional and boring. They have no layers, no depth that would let the reader explore them and find multiple meanings. You may think they do, but these layers that you see are the fucking obvious to everyone else. This is because you are either retarded or, once again, blinded by your imagined greatness.

Now let’s look at the message of this poem. Once again, It’s. Been. Said. Before. And it’s been done much better. So shut the hell up.

Now let’s look at the structure of this poem. Hm. Surprise, surprise! It’s crap too! What little structure you’ve given this piece lends absolutely NOTHING to the meaning of the poem. It doesn’t enhance the message or further the readers understanding in any way. Even the worst writers know that structure should help a poem flow, and yet you in all your greatness has failed to do even that! I am amazed by your idiocy and astounding lack of talent.

I’m tired of reading your shit, so I’ll wrap up this review now.

In conclusion and in perfect honesty, this is a piece of shit (and, coincidently, so are you!). It is terrible in every way, and it is an utter waste of fictionpress’ bandwidth. Please remove yourself and your terrible writing from this site. The world will then be a better place. At the very least, you should changed you name to something more appropriate like Ashley Writes Bad Poetry.

One last thing… I know you are from New Jersey. If I can ever figure out exactly where you are from, I will happily rid the earth of you and your shitty poetry.

Have a nice day, loser.

P.S. When I get the time, I’ll be sure to let you in on the truth about all your other masterpieces. Be looking forward to it.
Chaos Apple chapter 1 . 9/10/2006
This was an interesting piece...It seemed a bit too abstract for my tastes. Sadly, I'm not even sure I grasped the etnire concept. But I really love the way you write-just the way you have with words, how you phrase things, how you describe things.

A wonderful piece. I got this nice feel from it, for some reason. And the way you set it up and typed it out made me actually stop and focus on the complete poem.

I liked it.

Alice
theatrical rhapsodies chapter 1 . 9/10/2006
Um...I didn't spell Mannequin wrong...I Spelled manikin right. They are two different things. So maybe you should look things up that you're not sure about before telling people that they're wrong.

Sincerely, theatrical rhapsodies
hey maria chapter 1 . 9/9/2006
Very interesting imagery in this, definitely original. I like the message in this, which I interpreted to be a stop-to-smell-the-roses kind of thing, to use your brain or "helium filled thinking machine" and see what's going on around you. This was written well; nice job.
kaylajac chapter 1 . 9/9/2006
Well, I'd like to at least thank you for your honesty in the two reviews you left me. I do find it rather annoying, though, that you judged one of them based on my musical taste. The poem wasn't inspired by a band of any kind, and to bring something entirely unrelated into my writing was nonsensical. Anyway, thank you for reviewing my poems.
by His blood chapter 1 . 9/9/2006
i'm not the type of person who would say "omfg ur poetry sux!" because of the review you gave me. you have some beautiful poetry on here, and there's some shocking imagery in here. i like a lot of what you write, and you're a talented poet. keep writing.

but naturally, i want to respond to the review you gave me. i appreciate the honesty, and i'm not the type of person anymore who would start a flame war back and forth because of what you said. i am not emo, scene or goth. what i write is real, and i feel all of it. that's why what you wrote hurt me. i use my format for a reason, and people seem to either love it or hate it. you hate it, and that's fine. everyone has their own preferences when it comes to writing. but please don't judge me as emo or melodramatic because of the way i write my poetry. i don't use it because it looks nice - it leaves my poetry raw and it means something to me. it adds effect and meaning and i'm not going to abandon it. so again, i appreciate your honesty, but calling me a horrible emo writer sort of annoyed me. you are a great writer, and i appreciated that you took the time to write a review. but i would also appreciate it if you took the time to read my writing, got past your bias against 'emo,' and saw what you think then. if you absolutely still hate it, then fine. you're entitled to your opinion. but i would appreciate if you gave my writing a chance and didn't label me as emo when that's far from the truth.

thank you. i thoroughly enjoyed this poem. as i said before, you have talent.