This was awesome! I loved the repitition. It was so dark. It also made me laugh. Please keep it up :)

yes, so I know this is an old one AND that I already 'reviewed' it...if you can call that little thing a review.

BUT

friend or not, I'm a literature snob and so that's why I usually don't review; after reading emerson and poe and hawethorne, it gets harder and harder to appreciate fantasy etc.

BUT

I have always liked this little story. I like the way it's told, I like the parallel of dodging bullets pulled in at the end, I like the idea, probably for the same odd little twisted bit that made you want to write it :D.

BUT

It could use a little polishing, like most things. Just a couple little titchy things that would probably only get you annoyed at me if I pointed them out, so you probably shouldn't even bother.

I just wanted to give you a review and, like I said, this is a story I've always liked.

You've worked in the repetetive here, and what might help to make it more effective is even shorter, choppier sentences, like a director would use staggered, choppy shots to show that the subject isn't all there. You've got it a little bit, with the single lines - it breaks it up.

anyway, yeah. again, I just wanted to give you a review from my more literature-snob side.

O.O I liken ze format, I liken ze twist.

This was enjoyable. Wonderfully dark and darkly humorous. It's really hard to pick one particular line that I like because they're all great, but if I had to, it'd be this;

"Me, with a gun I don’t even know the name of."

I just love that for some reason. Maybe because of the idea of being able to be so ignorant of something that can do so much damage.

Dude...very good.i'm awestruck.i cant find a thing to criticize. it's extremely good keep writing like this.

you spelled hole wrong...wholelike that really matters thoughbut i liked itwhich is kind of the only part of this review that mattersi like how twisted it was...and you write very well, you person of many names