|Reviews for Language is the liquid we're all dissolved in|
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 2 . 2/17/2009
Wow-I really love this piece! As a non-Spanish-speaker I am reviewing the English version :) My favorite lines are actually the Spanish ones mostly:
we touched the same things
I absorbed your everything
—Spanish boy with the impossible eyes, green—
we were a mixture.
We were never different.
Never is a promise.
There is a lot of mysticism in this piece and it has such an other worldly feel. My only suggestions would be to maybe find something to replace the word "inhomogeneous"-I get why you used it, but it is still a lot to swallow at the begining. And then to just remove the word "movements" in the sixth line and pluralize hands-it seems smoother that way. Regardless, this is a wonderful piece and I am so glad to have read it today! Good work!
| Silver Rain Fell chapter 1 . 3/19/2007
Palabras bellas en dos idiomas.
It's twice as beautiful in two languages.
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
This is very lovely. I'm in AP Spanish (don't let that fool you, I suck) and I have this strange habit of speaking half in Spanish. But not good spanish. Things like..."Sabes que es the answer to numbero deiz", and in my completely American accent too, and I don't even really know I'm doing it. Ay ay ay, ah dios mio!
FYI: Soon, I'm going to copy you, and write a half english/spanish poem. Because I like this that much :-D.
| aurora llyria chapter 2 . 9/12/2006
Right, now I get it. Basically what I thought, neh? I still don't know about the green - eyes or something else? - and it occurs to me that it's easier to be...shall I say, poetically ambiguous - in English. Because everything doesn't have to agree the way it does in Spanish. Anyway, now having read your translation, I still think it's cool. :-) Cryptic as always, but I like that. And also I forgot to say this in the first review, but in your author's note in Spanish I think it should be "estoy aprendiendo." Present participle, not past. Okee, I'm done spouting grammar nitpickiness.
| aurora llyria chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
Ohmygosh I LOVE Spanish! Yay, now I get to correct you...as best as I can.
I think it should be "las mismas cosas" just because it sounds better to me, but I don't actually have a rule to site to back this up.
...Because oranges have never known more sweet? By the way I think it's "las naranjas." Or did you mean "tasted more sweet"? That sounds kind of right and kind of...not. I don't know.
Okay if "verde" is describing the Spanish boy's impossible eyes then shouldn't it be "verdes"? Unless it's just random green-ness that's not the eyes. The donde estas part (I hate that I can't put accents here) should have an upside-down question mark before it.
...and you touched my heart (well, literally - I'm not entirely sure it shouldn't be "me tocaste el corazon") with a...digit. I'm not sure but I think it might be better to say "dedo de mano" because people say "dedo de pie" for toe, so the word "dedo" alone seems not to specify finger. Of course, I don't know that you did mean finger, so maybe that's right. Maybe it's right anyway. You know what, I should really have read your own translation before writing this, but I'll just do that after.
We are not in the world. Interesting.
Ok, apart from the Spanish (by which I mean, I'll stop going on about grammar and stuff now, but I love the Spanish parts) I like the English parts too. Actually what I mean is I like the meaning, whatever language it's in. Especially now just after a Chem test because it has all this stuff about mixtures and inhomogeneous things (that is a cool word) and it's nice to read about that stuff in a poetic context instead of in a textbook for homework.
| mercury.love chapter 2 . 9/10/2006
First off, thank you for the reviews. They really made my semi-horrible day great. And I love this. Especially since it has Spanish in it and I adore Spanish. Since I've been involved with a few boys who spoke only Spanish, this is kind of interesting... there's something about two languages mixing that's really romantic to me. My favorite line of this was "“You are the voice that dreams out naranjas nunca han sabido mas dulce.”" I liked how it was English and then Spanish... and it was just a lovely image. Great writing. I'm adding you to my favorite authors. :)
| poet tree chapter 2 . 9/10/2006
Ah, thank you. I wasn't sure what the last one said (I'm taking French) so I didn't review it. But this - this is beautiful.
| classic violet chapter 1 . 9/10/2006
I don't speak spanish, so I just read the english bits.
"Hazy words as we evaporated; / our hand movements waving away mirages. / You said, like a prophet, / “You are the voice that dreams out loud." just beautiful. the words chosen make this poem so elegant.
| LAaALA chapter 1 . 9/10/2006
WOW I read this even though i'm like a moron in spanish but something about it just really got to me. i looked at your other stuff and it's all really amazing so I'm gonna fav. you. :) But really, this is absolutely beautiful and I loved it.