Reviews for Frozen Solstice
sylvia's syndrome chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
Not bad work overall. The rhyme flows nicely for the most part, but there are a few things I would fix. Lines that you had to phrase awkwardly to make the rhyme fit, such as “its soul it sold” should be removed and replace or rewritten. The awkward phrasing makes a hitch in the poem – and you don’t want that; you want the poem to flow. Also, you should try to refrain from rhyming identical words. For instance, at one point you rhyme “ahead” with “ahead.” Not using fresh words makes you look unskilled and lazy, which I don’t believe you are. Plus, it’s rather boring. With a little tweaking, I think you could really improve this piece. Keep up the good work!