Reviews for Are You Happy?
les petits bateaux chapter 1 . 9/13/2006
i didn't like the repetition. it made your poem sound much...lighter, in a way, and it made your poem look more like a song. i didn't quite feel the emotions, although i like the thought-provoking line at the end. this was alright.
B. L. Powell chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
Repetition is a tool that should be perfected for certain situations. In a poem like this, it is meant to build the power of each differing line; however, I don't think that the different lines are strong enough to warrant so much repetitiom. Try writing four lines then are you happy so that the reader doesn't get lost in the same line over and over
Ashelin chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
Aw, *hugs*. I'm soo sorry about him. I don't understand why he does these things. *Sighs*. Great job. God bless.
Pandakun84 chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
You made me moved(should be move, no d) across the country.

You torn(toreI can't spell, but the point is the n isn't needed cause of the way it's bin used) my(me) up and then(it might flow better w/o then) threw me away.

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Are you happy?(the repititon dosen't exactly work)

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Are you happy?

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If you aren’t…

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Then why did you destroy my world?

I like the ending. I don't mean to sound so critical, I swear, but I'm bored out of my mind and have a lit test tomorrow so I thought it might be cool to review for it this way. :)

Really good job on this. May I ask who it's toward? I can probally guess your parents, but I'm not sure. My mom has put me through a lot of crap... Thanks for the review! Yeah, Outcast, it didn't exactly come out right. I wrote it in gym after gettin hit with the ball like a million times by the sucky players so, uh, yeah. LOL! Anyway, reallt great job on this! I really like it! Keep it up!