Reviews for A Girl
Saikai chapter 1 . 12/15/2006
Perfect twist at the end, but I do suggest you write more. 5 stars. Thanx for the reviews!
Ashelin chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
o_O You scare me sometimes. This is one of those times. God bless...
Lukertin chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
You should try fleshing out your poetry with more -emotion- and description, anyone could write this but what makes it unique?

The poem is accusatory for no real discernible reason (we can guess who its addressed to but we don't really understand anything about the adressee) so we don't know the -why- of why the poem is written.

You can do better.
Pandakun84 chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
I hate to sound mean in any way, but the summary sounds better than the acyual poem. I like it, none the less, but, still, it could use some work. It's a very good attempt. The ending is kinda obvious and it could use some elaberation. Um, I really don't mean to sound mean...
B. L. Powell chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
Well, it's filed under angst correctly. In all truth, the second line is out of place. It should be towards the end because my first thought was "you can't cry if you're dead" and you don't want a reader second guessing you from the start.

Also, a personal preference thing, there's no sense of accomplishment or closure to this piece. You tell the audience you're crying because of something and leave them with that. While there are some things that should be left to a reader's imagination, I believe you need to give them more to gain more interest
Frore chapter 1 . 9/12/2006
Well, it wasn't very metaphorical or complex, but I hope it served to get any negative emotions out of your system.