|Reviews for All She Had To Do Was Smile|
| Fictionally Unpleased chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
The Loathed Critic is just a pussy and dun't wanna reveal they're identitiy because they afraid o gettin a titty pinch. This was a OK story it wud gud. But I dun't like ur main chracters. She aint ethnic she just white. U should be mindful of your coloured sistas and yellow earth mothers.
| FeedbackReview for ASHtDWS chapter 33 . 8/6/2010
I really enjoyed this story on the grounds that it wasn't entirely dialogue. SO many much-loved stories are almost entirely dialogue and dialogue tags. I love this for it. *bookmarks*
| The Loathed Critic chapter 35 . 8/5/2010
First of all, congratulations on actually finishing the story. Many authors on this site take up the infuriating habit of starting things they can't finish, but it's good to know that you are among the exceptions.
About the actual plot of this story, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't necessarily good either. I sincerely hope that you won't take my criticism personally, but there were several rather major factors of the plot that I disapproved of, first and foremost being your main character.
Honestly, have you ever met a single person in your life who "is obviously intelligent, is an amazing athlete, has a terrific personality, is a great person, AND is completely gorgeous"? Not to mention someone who can maintain these attributes through the deaths of loved ones, anorexia, AND sexual assault? And let's just say that this person is also seemingly loved by a band of rich, athletic boarding school hotties within 48 hours. Tell me, are you familiar with the term "Mary-Sue"? Terrible things, they are. Here's a tip: google the "Mary-Sue Litmus Test" and just go ahead and test Keira.
Secondly, for a high school senior, Cam just seems a little... too good to be true. You see, most high school guys aren't smokin' hot, financially wealthy, kind, AND intelligent. And if you in fact manage to find a guy like that, do you really think he would be willing to openly proclaim the fact that he wants to have kids and grow old with his girlfriend of a couple months? Somehow I doubt it. Here's the REAL deal: a typical eighteen-year-old boy doesn't necessarily bang every girl he comes across, but he doesn't exactly respect them either. Said boy will probably be at an age where he's got a lot of testosterone but does not know how to use it responsibly. So your typical senior, given the opportunity, will probably go for a fling such as this one, but I doubt he would want to get so serious so soon with someone having as many issues and emotional baggage as Keira does. I'm sorry to say that you may have a Gary-Stu on your hands (see Mary-Sue *above*).
And one of the biggest problems I have with this story is how realistic it actually is, or rather, is NOT. If an all boys boarding school were wanting to convert to the practice of co-education, I highly doubt it would accept only ONE girl. That's like throwing a single steak to 400 starving dogs. And on top of that, no educator in his right mind would let said girl room with a guy. Even if the school population were so incredibly unmanagable, arrangements would absolutely HAVE to be made in which the girl would have separate quarters, no matter the circumstances. That's actually an illegal situation. Take it from somebody who actually has experience in boarding school. Kate Gosselin will have another baby before I'm allowed to room in a guy's boarding house.
Overall, this story seems a little more like a fantasy than a romance. I am sorry if I have offended you with my criticism, but I felt that it was about time that these things were pointed out. Although this story was able to provide me with brief entertainment, I cannot say I was extremely impressed. But hey, I'm just one person. I'm sure there are many people who would be willing to come to your defense and disagree with me. Good luck with future writing.
- Critic, the Loathed
P.S. Make sure to look into that Mary-Sue Litmus Test. I'm sure it would shed some light on my reasoning and prove to be very interesting to you.
| Candescence chapter 33 . 7/11/2010
Nice story. It was kind of dragging in the beginning, though; it picked up when the accident of her parents happened. Congrats on finishing it, and when you do write you sequel make sure you add lots of drama into it and that you don't have the fluff be too much.
| Candescence chapter 6 . 7/11/2010
Well, that wasn't the explanationg I was expecting. I thought that it would be something traumatizing that made her act that way. I mean, yeah, it's sad that no matter how hard she tried she never really won, but that's life. It's good that she never quitted, too.
| Candescence chapter 5 . 7/11/2010
O... I can totally relate to this story now because of swimming :)
| lavishlysimple chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
my goodness!things happen so fast..this is just the first chapter and yet many things had already happened..
| Eternal Skies chapter 1 . 5/28/2010
a twist on the cliche,, neat!
| xbdagirloflovex chapter 34 . 5/3/2010
I actually have always and will always love this. im litrally addicted to Cam and Keira, please please do sequeal about them :D x
| Rebellette chapter 30 . 4/18/2010
Wow. I began reading this story this morning, and it took me all day to finish. All of the plot was good, it made me laugh, cry, "aw", fume, and sympathize with the characters. There are a few small factual mistakes that caught my attention, but they are hardly noticeable in light of the overall story. This story gave me great enjoyment, and I love Keira and Cam's romance and all the difficulties it went through. I hope the sequel is just as amazing; I'll be watching for it. Keep writing, and keep posting; you're good at it!
| xXDarkOmega93Xx chapter 34 . 4/14/2010
i love this story so much. i just finished reading the whole story, and got quite disappointed when i was done. all in all, great job.
| CrazyInAGoodWay chapter 34 . 4/13/2010
LOVE IT! haha im excited for the sequel!
| Latindancer4ever chapter 34 . 4/13/2010
Really really great story! The last chapter almost had me in tears! It feels like I've gone through an entire journey with the characters, and I can't wait for the sequel! I've got you on my Author Alerts so I'll be waiting! :)
| LiGi chapter 1 . 4/13/2010
Have you thought about trying to get this published? Because I think it is good eneough to be a book! Well Done!
| LiGi chapter 34 . 4/13/2010
I LOVED this story, it's so gripping! I found it by accident a week or so ago and read the first 20 chapters all in one go! Then my internet messed up and I couldn't continue reading and I was so angry! I have just finished it today and really want to read more. I love the characters especially Keira's brothers and Jake (obviously, how could you not love Jake!) and Cam is so realistic, I actually know a guy just like him.
Please write more! PLease, please, please!