|Reviews for Subtleties|
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 4/6/2008
and there are times when it seems to Riku that the differences are all that matter.
[When humans are involved, sometimes that's the truth.]
and because Riku has never heard the word with any other inflection, he assumes it must be so.
[Something oft-reflected in many young character backgrounds, something harkening to the truth: even if it isn't so, a person told enough times that they are detestable will eventually believe it.]
who is once against perfect in every way.
[Who is once against? Do you mean 'almost perfect'? I'm not exactly certain what the intended meaning is.]
The part of him that is not-elven-enough wants to chase down those boys,
[I dunno, I'd figure that elves have the same capability (if not the same expected proclivity) for violence and revenge as humans).]
Perhaps it is in his movements, which were steady and simple, like those of his mother’s, but carry a heaviness, a lack of subtlety that was neither learned nor inherited from either Caeranthil or his wife,
[An interesting way of putting it.]
Perhaps it is something in his stance, which suggests a kind of constant, anticipatory guilt, as though afraid at any moment he will make a misstep and find himself in trouble.
[Sounds like standard childhood to me.]
and the word “Riku”, in Elven, means Outcast.
[Whoever named him severely disliked him and was setting himself up for failure.]
A number of spots were familiar, but I didn't see any "rip off" chunks and it worked out pretty well. I could see that the tense presentation was something that could have used a little practice (present-tense third-person my narrative of choice, I can hardly write in the past-tense anymore). Despite that, it seemed well done to me.
| Jess chapter 1 . 12/7/2006
I bow down to your superior skills!
Your prose is practically poetry, although a bit wordy sometimes, and you really didn't seem to have any problem with switching to third person present.
All-in-all, awesome writing!
| peeping tom chapter 1 . 10/2/2006
As usual, excellent writing. Normally it bothers me to read things in the present tense but in your story I thought it was very well done. The fixation on the hair was excellent. Anyway, it was good to see you were still alive! I've been missing "the Last New Yorker" desperately - it's so hard to sift out authors of your calibur on these sites sometimes. Hope to see more of you more often!~Heather