|Reviews for Paint|
| Mistress Jakira chapter 1 . 5/12/2007
one girl draws new melodies
with ancient pigments.
I wholeheartedly relate:
With my educated hands
I still can't shade inside the lines,
This is an amazing piece and I think it captures the frustrations of many, and the tragedy of teaching fear. All the beauty, creativity, disregard for the superficial that that lesson suppresses. Maybe the "finger-painting" truly means nothing. It's just play after all. You manipulate the words perfectly also-very polished. I can't say I go with the crowd in believing the final stanza is far and away the strongest; besides, I think it's best, aesthetically, to take this poem line by line instead. I know reviews are the place for constructive criticism but I think you've perfected this idea.
| fairytale failure chapter 1 . 12/17/2006
This is so beautiful...it tackles big issues, but it still manages to sound personal. It is also great how you expressed guilt n the last stanza.
| Aneliz Rei chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
Very smooth. Also: extremely personal/genuine. It makes me wonder if there is more of a story to be told.
I really liked this.
| Sarah-Brighteyes chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
I will have to say that this is one of my favorite pieces so far that I have read today.
I find it very sad... very truthful of the seperation of races even in the 21st century..
The imagery of a black child painting her fingernails white is strong... great implications here. This piece definatly makes people re-think things. The tone is of guilt that is generational.
Amazing piece. Great job.
I am going to have to check out some other pieces.
| Annie Jadin chapter 1 . 11/28/2006
This is even better than the original, if that's possible. I love the last stanza...really hits hard and makes me shiver. Excellent writing!
| T. Rowland chapter 1 . 11/4/2006
damn this good. you really are talented. the last stansa 'With my educated hands...' is superb and just bloody good writing. well done.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 10/31/2006
I love how all this is derived from painting your nails.. a powerful piece... beautifully written
| Orbit chapter 1 . 10/18/2006
little olivia: look, it's me!
olivia's teacher: no. you're yellow.
little olivia: no i'm not.
olivia's teacher: yes you are. look, here's a yellow crayon.
| Super Shayde chapter 1 . 10/17/2006
wow. I didn't think that the old version could be improved on, but this is even better.
that last verse, it's just so powerful.
| lackluster chapter 1 . 9/24/2006
i certainly feel like i've read this before, but i can't place my finger on it...
i love that you took on such a strong subject. the words are filled with passion and the last stanza is pure poetry. it's breathtaking.
| Choke on this chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
awesome love the last stanza best - very powerful