Reviews for Paint
Mistress Jakira chapter 1 . 5/12/2007

one girl draws new melodies

with ancient pigments.

I wholeheartedly relate:

With my educated hands

I still can't shade inside the lines,

This is an amazing piece and I think it captures the frustrations of many, and the tragedy of teaching fear. All the beauty, creativity, disregard for the superficial that that lesson suppresses. Maybe the "finger-painting" truly means nothing. It's just play after all. You manipulate the words perfectly also-very polished. I can't say I go with the crowd in believing the final stanza is far and away the strongest; besides, I think it's best, aesthetically, to take this poem line by line instead. I know reviews are the place for constructive criticism but I think you've perfected this idea.
fairytale failure chapter 1 . 12/17/2006
This is so tackles big issues, but it still manages to sound personal. It is also great how you expressed guilt n the last stanza.
Aneliz Rei chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
Very smooth. Also: extremely personal/genuine. It makes me wonder if there is more of a story to be told.

I really liked this.
Sarah-Brighteyes chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
I will have to say that this is one of my favorite pieces so far that I have read today.

I find it very sad... very truthful of the seperation of races even in the 21st century..

The imagery of a black child painting her fingernails white is strong... great implications here. This piece definatly makes people re-think things. The tone is of guilt that is generational.

Amazing piece. Great job.

I am going to have to check out some other pieces.
Annie Jadin chapter 1 . 11/28/2006
This is even better than the original, if that's possible. I love the last stanza...really hits hard and makes me shiver. Excellent writing!
T. Rowland chapter 1 . 11/4/2006
damn this good. you really are talented. the last stansa 'With my educated hands...' is superb and just bloody good writing. well done.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 10/31/2006
I love how all this is derived from painting your nails.. a powerful piece... beautifully written
Orbit chapter 1 . 10/18/2006
little olivia: look, it's me!

olivia's teacher: no. you're yellow.

little olivia: no i'm not.

olivia's teacher: yes you are. look, here's a yellow crayon.
Super Shayde chapter 1 . 10/17/2006
wow. I didn't think that the old version could be improved on, but this is even better.

that last verse, it's just so powerful.
lackluster chapter 1 . 9/24/2006
i certainly feel like i've read this before, but i can't place my finger on it...

i love that you took on such a strong subject. the words are filled with passion and the last stanza is pure poetry. it's breathtaking.
Choke on this chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
awesome love the last stanza best - very powerful