|Reviews for Forrester's Fool Proof Guide To Teenage Rebellion|
| Yo scag wassup chapter 1 . 7/28/2007
So, I've got... 515 words, but the thing is, Logan talks weird. Old-fashioned, kinda. I guess I could just pass it off because she had such a wonderful education with a live-in tutorer or went to a fancy private school, but still. This is what I have so far. Ready? It's not very good.
There was only one word that could be used to describe Madrid’s airport, and that was crowded. There were so many people that it could have been a city in itself, let alone a relatively unimportant tourist destination in the most populous city in all of Spain. Every time I spotted an empty foot of space and tried to make a move for it, a swarm of people encased it until it was lost in a sea of nondescript faces.
And the noise! People talking, people laughing, people crying – it was all happening so often that I felt like I was on the set of The Bold and the Beautiful instead of an airport. The excruciating decibels that the Spaniards could reach with their sobs was enough to make any poor person ready to tear their ears off, let alone one with fine-tuned hearing like myself.
I had to admit, though, that it did help when trying to distinguish between nationalities. I set my bags down on the nearest available chair and within minutes I’d identified a prim elderly English couple, a lone German sightseer and the group of Australian backpackers that had been giving me the evil eye throughout our entire flight.
Although that could have been because I’d accidentally knocked one of their plane tickets through the gap in the tunnel during my haste to get on the plane. I later heard that it had slipped through to the tarmac and my victim was forced to wait behind and catch the next flight over.
If I’d bothered to tell them my predicament – or, indeed, anything at all, really – they might have understood, but as I hadn’t even uttered a word of apology, they’d settled for a competition on who could stare at me the longest. It turned out to be an awkwardly tall girl with red hair and eyes that apparently didn’t need to blink for eight and a half minutes straight.
The truth was that I’d been sworn to secrecy. Cross my heart and hope to die; scout’s honour; pinky promise: you name it, I’d done it. I understood that if our little ‘secret’ were to get out that the Feds in nine different countries around the world would have a field day, but honestly. Making an atheist swear on the holy bible was a bit too extreme for my taste.
Then again, everything my family chose to partake in had always been a bit too extreme for my taste. Thus the reason I was standing amid a sea of unfamiliar faces at Madrid airport, awaiting the ride that would take me to what was soon to become my new home. Well, to be fair, it had never really concerned me until two weeks before…
My mother had awoken me with the news that I was to go on a ‘family trip’. As the youngest child in my family, such trips had always meant my exclusion and the company of an alternate carer for varied lengths of time – they’d ‘disappeared’ for a month once.
Ta da. and that's all I've got. But still. I bet it's more than you have. Yeah.
Catch yo later dude.
| Essie chapter 12 . 6/27/2007
I like your character revelation of Adelaide. I like Adelaide's loyalty to her brother, her courage (especially in high school where the mass pop culture eats you for lunch) and her weirdness. Not quirky, she is just plain weird. But she grows on you.
I read your story twice btw, just because it made me laugh so much. I hope you'll continue to update!
| Lumberjack Jim chapter 1 . 6/26/2007
Ey, man, I just visited (is that right? it doesn't look right) your myspace. And like, I am so cut right now. You write weird songs with other people? Also, now I know all your personal imformation. Not that I didn't know any of that before, because I did (I'm stalking you, see) but still. Maybe I should do that quiz so it's not so unfair. Because this way I can be all, "Muahahaha I know your deepest darkest secrets!"
Anyway. I did have a point to this. I think. I can't remember anymore. I think I'm going crazy...
ey, guess what mahn? (That was said Jamaican-y, but you can interpret it any way you'd like.) SEVEN MORE DAYS ON THE COUNT DOWN LIST. Well, eight for you, but you don't count. Actually, no, I think as of right now it would've ticked over to seven. Woo.
I don't like the Zeb idea. You KNOW I have self-esteem issues. And now my self-esteem is all, "YOU SUCK!" And so I don't like the idea anymore. But because I'm too lazy to think of something else I'll write it anyway and it really will sucka nd you'll win. See what I'm getting at? Good. I don't.
Two more days of school! And then... another whole semester to go. But whatever. Besides, we've been getting periods off to go to these seminars on subjects for next year, and I'm thinking about doing International Politics instead of biology (because science sucks and I shoudl be writing up a prac right now that's due tomorrow) but I'm thinking that all we'll end up studying is George Bush and why the whole world hates him. I mean, seriously, WHO CARES? I just think his voice is funny. And for some reason whenever I quote my re teacher she always ends up soundign like him. "Gawd does nawt reject uhs, we reject gawd." Although that coudl be because all the southern hicks sound the same. No offence man. Even though you're not southern. And I know these things because I looked at your profile. You should be careful about who sees that. Soem crazy freak could looking at it right now.
Yeah. I'll just... go now. also, I found an account. I mean, I don't actually REMEMBER creating it, but I was typing all my email thingys into the sign in thingy and one worked and came up with an account thingy (just trying to see how many times I can fit that word in) called, and i quote, ' .stone'. What the hell was i ON? Wouldn't want to be too apathetic or anythingy, jeez.
Yeah. I'll be on my merry way now. Oh yeah, I've been meaning to tell you this for a while, before you make more of an idiot out of yourself. 'Cracker' is not an ethnic reference, you use it to describe someone who's funny. You know, as in, "You crack me up" "You're a cracker"? Lol.
I feel like writing a cliche. But it can't be the whole popular guy/weedy girl because I don't like them. Or the i hate love triangles. they piss me off.
| Promiscuous Misprocuous chapter 12 . 6/24/2007
Most of the time when Adelaide talks, I have no idea what she's talking about. But sometimes, she comes out with stuff that makes more sense than I would expect like the thing about the blood and chicken crappers on her shoes being like apologies. Anyway, I really like this story. So... Yeah.
| Can this be anonymous chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
Sheesh. And you think I whine a lot? (Multiple exclamation and question marks)
Nuh uh, darlin'. But hey, nice to know you're having such a GREAT time on your holidays... er... vacation. What a shit word. I mean, seriously. VAY-CAY-SHUN. It's not even spelt right, damnit!
Now it's my turn. Uh... Well, I had to do a debate on Tuesday, and it was SO bad because I was talking way too fast (I have this tiny little fear of public speaking) and then some random was all, "Slow down man!" So I slowed down. And then I thought, you know, maybe I should rebuttal, event hough it's not in my speech.
My rebuttal went like this: "Um... the, um, second member of the, um, affirmative team um, said, there are only, um, two types of people, fat and skinny. What about the, um, average people? They need to be um... (Insert fifteen second awkward pause where I couldn't even remember the word 'represented') Heh, heh, yeah." Then I went back to my speech, and at the end it was all silent and this guy was all, "Did you write that speech or did Bill Gates?" And yeah, okay, I lead my team to victory and scored 90/100, but it was so AWKWARD.
And I have to get the second does of that STD injection next week, and I'll be majorly pissed at everyone all day because they're all, "I'm fainting!" And I'm just like, "Shut up, it's just a fucking needle!" (That's me being pissed.)
And... That's all I've got. So you must have had a bit worse than me. Oh, and I had to get a blood test today, which doesn't even hurt, but it's the ripping off of the tape that KILLS. I mean, did the lady not notice I happen to have hair on my arm when she gave me a frickin two metre piece of tape around my arm?
Oh yeah, and now everyone thinks I'm american because I call dumpsters dumpsters instead of 'Dump masters'. Well, i think that's what they called them. i can't remember. And because my dad has a moustache like texan hicks and he plays baseball. But other than that, I'm completely un-americanised.
Haha. Now I'm just dragging stuff up from last week in an effort to beat you. I've really gotta stop doing that.
Lol. Wouldn't you feel so bad right now if I told you I don't even have seven fingers? Well, it's a-okay, because I DO have ten fingers. Although I can't say I have one big toenail, because all my toenails for some reason are about three milimetres tall.
Sucker. You're getting wisdom teeth and you're going to have to go to hospital and get them out and you'll DIE under the anathestic. And I just spelt that wrong. Moving on. Don't quite understand what 'Doctor Jones, this is Candy speaking' has to do with anywthing, but maybe you guys have some kinky code-talk going on, I don't know. so long as he doesn't pull out the pink fluffy handcuffs, and you'll be fine.
You know what was REALLY sad? Yesterday in religion we had to write down tha names of EVERYONE in our life at all, and everyone was all, "Man, this is going to take so long." And it didn't take me very long at all. I'm so pathetic. Hah.
| You're Stupid chapter 1 . 6/17/2007
I don't even know what the hell shalom is. Sides, her name was going to be Yolanda until like two minutes before I uploaded it. I figured it was kind of a hick name.
You are an idiot. I didn't add anything new in in, and you're only telling me now it's cliche? I've kind of gotten over the story, actually come to think of it I was over it after chapter one.
So now I'm just going to churn out 50 words of whatever enters my brain first, just to see how long I can drag it out for.
Lol. You're such an attention hog. THIS IS ABOUT ME! ME, I TELL YOU! Not Rossi's reaction when Beau looks at her with his 'unique, feminine eyes'. You can't tell me that's not cliche. What's wrong with boring eyes, I ask you?
Actually, I'm going to describe mine, fictionpress-style. Here goes:
They're like dark pools of chocolate, awaiting to devour you in their creamy gaze. Then you realise that no, you were mistaken. They're more like rich, dark coffee without the milk. Belatedly, you see that your first impression was wrong - they're so dark they're like the devil's eyes! You try to run, but the eyes turn black and before you know it, you've burned to death from a single stare.
Huh? Pretty romantic, don't ya think?
G'day ladies? Hmm. I dunno if Beau can pull it off. He needs to pass the test of... G'day-ishness.
Yeah, I saw the adding to favourites. Bitch never bothered to review though. Gah.
| chic rebel chapter 12 . 6/14/2007
im still here. lol, well great chapter. it was hilarious. adelaid is so random. i hope you find time to update soon!
| xtotallyatpeacex chapter 12 . 6/14/2007
Like, spam the ham? You know, like those canned tins of him with the SPAM written in, like, capital letters on it and, you know, a PICTURE of the ham. Um, like the smell isn't, you know, gross enough, like?
Seriously man. Next time, you are writing out a response to EVERY SINGLE REVIEW. That's right. Ain't expectin' tha' were yer?
Yeah. I'm perving on you. Cause yer jus' so sexc. Wow, I hate that spelling. SEXC. Like, why can't people, like, you know, put, like, a y on the end instead. You know?
Shit that is realy (multiple Ls) annoying me.
yeah. I am surprised. Good job.
Ooh, I was seeing that barely restrained RAGE in that last reply. Nice work man. Nice. The it's-obvious-I-hate-you-but-I'm-not-going-to-cone-out-right-now-and-say-it method. Interesting.
NB: If whoever-I'm-talking-about is reading this... Yeah. I mean, it's pretty obvious Adelaide's the main character. So yeah, man. Take a chill pill. No one else understand's this story either, but we just don't SAY anything.
Heh. Heh. Heh. Just kiddin' Rhandi. Seriously. Er... I think I'll just go over there, now.
| nollie chapter 12 . 6/14/2007
now here is some ice
sorry bout teh three
bites i got a little
well atleast u updated
adelaide is the bomb
| jammi chapter 12 . 6/13/2007
Woot woot for the updatage. And school and work do come before fp stories, sadly, so I won't even beg for a quick update.
Pace is a weird one. haha, I love how Adelaide just sits back and enjoys his antics even though I wonder how he acts when he's not around her. He seemed like such a badass then next thing you see he's her shadow. Admittedly, a shadow with fish hooks in his face but still.
HAHAHA, I loved that Grade A Booty comment, then Track's like, 'That's cross country ass' hahaha, I had to grin at that. Hilarious.
Although I can't lie I paused when she started talking about putting *mints* up her nose to freshen them. I'm sure they have nasal sprays for that sort of thing don't they? haha, and her uncle encourages her behaviour. Her mom wants to find out why she's like that she doesn't even need to look past her own front door.
random but in the summary it says some girl offered to sniff them, [the jockstraps] but here it says she stapled them to her roof, haha, a brilliant place by the way, her poor mother. Her daughter isn't gallivanting around doing normal things, no, she steals mailboxes and fantasizes about stealing PeeWee Herman's underwear.
"but the Cambridge posse of Chess Club wannabies didn't seem to believe my words."
I like the fact that you kept the theme of the Chess Club being the badasses at her school, lol. First I thought she was calling them geeks then I remembered the Chess Clubs skills, lol.
There's a part where he says can't when he means can. And other little misspellings like that but nothing major I don't think. And I still have no idea how her mind got Stevie Wonder from him asking her if she thought she could do him any serious damage stomping on his foot, but then again Adelaide is random.
Also like how you worked in the little details about her shrinks. I take it Beefy Chuck got his name from Chuck Norris? Because I really have no idea where that came from, lol.
"only she made me use a different reason-like I'd taken it upon myself to prune their rose bushes until there wasn't a single rose left, and naturally, Uncle Robbie and I would have to carry that out as to not arouse suspicion."
Again with the Uncle Robbie, hahaha, they are definitely encouraging her behaviour. haha, isn't stealing mailboxes illegal anyway? Random but I think it's like defacing property or something.
"I didn't quite have the heart to tell him the evil monkeys at the zoo stole it from me and threw it against the wall. I had hopes it'd hold up, seeing as it was ancient and from cavelandish times, but when those monkeys have their eyes set on something, especially regarding their immense hatred towards me, they got it accomplished."
hahaha, like it would hurt him that her phone got destroyed by wild animal. And this is the second animal that's out to get her isn't it? First the ostrich then the monkeys.
"Their knuckles were white as they gripped their utensils, stabbing at the flailing morsels on their plates."
haha, you know there's a problem when your meal is still able to flail around.
But anyhoo, still adore Adelaide. She's the true definition of quirky, not even quirky (which if you read fp stories you'll know doesn't even have any real meaning on here anymore, if you sneeze three times you're quirky) she's actually weird and she just doesn't give a damn. Love it.
| Um. Princess PooPoo's frog chapter 1 . 6/12/2007
Wow. I mean, yeah, I have to admit, I was wondering, but now my suspicions have been confirmed.
You really are gay. The whole, 'poor me I don't know how to be gay' thing was just a guise because somewhere, in that poor little emotionally tormented mind of yours is a homosexual just waiting to be released!
Yeah. That's right. You ain't gonna fool me, girlfriend. I KNOW EVERYTHING.
I don't like your idea. Okay, so truthfully, I only started doing a REAL plan last night. Before that I'd just had a few things written down in dot point with random little exchanges. In fact, I didn't even have a physical despcription of my characters. And then I had to invent a new one, ON THE SPOT, because I didn't want to make it seem like Tatum had no friends what-so-ever at her high school. And then her friend turned all bitchy on me, so I had to stab her and start again. So now her friend is all, 'I-hate-everyone!-Yes,-even-you!' And I'm naming her Savvy. Because I like that word. And she's not.
Yes, I feel that now you've discovered my secret, I might as well let it be known: I AM A CREEPY CRADLE SNATCHER THAT LIKES TO PRAY ON THE EMOTIONS OF VULNERABLE AND SEXUALLY CONFUSED AMERICANS. But not any other nationality because they're too smart to fall for my ploy.
Also, don't think I didn't hear the smugness there. Because I did. MY ONE REVIEW. What, you think I care? Huh? Huh? Huh? Because ... damn. Train of thought ran out of coal.
Moving on. Oh yeah. Now I remember what I was going to recoil in horror at. DID YOU ACTUALLY SAY "FECK"? My god. That has got to be the lamest thing I've ever heard, including last week when I overheard a year seven going, "Oh my god! He just said that F-word!"
Lol. Feck. Feck. Feck. It reminds me of a bird. A pigeon.
Also, I just realised, Squizz is going to feature pretty heavily so far. So you should feel GRATEFUL. Uh huh.
By the way, I am now making it my personal mission to get you up to a hundred reviews. Just thought I'd tell you so maybe I'll get a few accolades for my hard work. That's all.
Wow man. I'm not at school today, and I won't be for the rest of the week cause I have community service at the old people's home. That'll be fun. Yay. Can you hear my enthusiasm?
Anyway. I think we should go with B. Not that you'll remember what it was. I seriously have no idea how to properly plan a story out, and nothing really occurs to me until I write it. Or after I've written and posted it, when it's too late anyway.
| gulistanlik chapter 8 . 6/3/2007
Uhm...what's the link between the rebel guide and the story? Because I can't see any...
| gulistanlik chapter 6 . 6/3/2007
Yeah I have questions...I'm confused about the whole thing. Can you give me a background on all this? Like who Adelaide is, where she stands, etc. Is she a real whacko, or is just a bit weird but likes exaggerating that to her peers?
| pinkfluffyoranges chapter 12 . 5/15/2007
Oh man this story had me grasping my sides I was laughing so hard. I hope you get back to writing soon, you left it with such a cliff hanger. man this story really brightened my day/week.
| Ello Gov'ner chapter 1 . 5/12/2007
You're like a slinky. Good for absolutely nothing, but fun to push down stairs.
Gawd! I already described him and EVERYTHING. The part you read was like the last tenth of the scene. Lol I'm a bit of a hypocrite because I don't really like reading present tense but I like writing it better than past, because ever since writing that stupid other story in present tense, I get all confuzzled with past.
Um. I like dreadlocks? But I don't know anyone who has them, otherwise i'm sure I'd be over them already. Actually, I like big hair. Except not on girls because then it looks like they're compensating for brains, or something.
What the hell does por que mean you Spanish-wannabe? Oh. Bet that cut, didn't it?
I'll feature choc chip cookie dough flavour just for you. Aw. I am so nice. And don't think I didn't see those hints, because I did. Also, I heard that sarcasm. Yeah, that's right. I'M NOT AS OBLIVIOUS AS I SEEM.
I hate sherbet. It hates me too. Nyaah (that was my little evil/menacing growl; think sideshow bob stepping on rakes).
Actually, the horrible truth is that most towns and some suburbs all have long weird names such as Yalladandah. I think it's like a 'giving back to the Aborigines' thing. I mean, I live in mooroolbark. That's almost-but-not-quite as bad as yalladandah.
Social security cards. Hm... Why? Do you wanna break in or something? Because, you know, that can be arranged. All you have to do is get on a boat and you'll be smuggled over. Well, technically you'll only get to Christmas Island, but it's still a part of Australia. Kind of.
I like using weird names, but most of the time I use names I like for females but wouldn't have the guts to name a real person. Wow. I should name a character after my chicken. Saffron. Although I don't think I should name my baby Saffron, because people are going to be all, "WTF Kirralee? You named your baby after a spice?"
I think Archy and Washington are... interesting names. Although you have to spell it Archie because that looks better than Archy. K?
Wow, you talk to yourself while you clean, too? Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't have just admitted that. Oh well... You already think I'm crazy anyway.
Anyway, back to me. Focus on ME now. If you really-really-really-really can't think of a better name for my story, I'll send you the chapter. Sigh. Also, I need a name for the guy. I just haven't thought of one yet.
By the way, you should have been on before, because I WAS. For like two seconds. BUT THAT's NOT THE POINT. Whoa, the s is mangled. He is getting CUT. Stupid s.