|Reviews for Wrenches in the Gears|
| Riiko Okuda chapter 2 . 1/28/2007
First and foremost, a big thank you for reviewing my story! And of course it'll wouldn't be nice if I didn't review yours huh?
So anyway, I've read 3 of your stories so far, and I must say, this is the best so far! I especially like the lyrics at the start of each chapter, and I was just wondering if they foreshadow any event to come.
I agree with the previous reviewer about the typo/spelling errors, and I noticed the same mistake n the other 2 stories I've read. Though they're pretty minor, they do drag the story down a little, so hopefully you could try to fix those errors.
All in all, the plot is pretty interesting, and I do wish you would update soon!
| L.F. DiBello chapter 5 . 12/14/2006
Before I start I'd like to say that I loved this chapter-definitely the best one in the story so far. The chapter was laid out well introducing all the characters and balancing action with dialogue (which many authors sometimes fail at).
With that said, I'd also like to comment that I like the song lyrics at the beginning and end of each chapter. It gives each chapter a nice introduction and conclusion. Also, all your fight scenes are very well-detailed and exciting to read. I can actually see the fight happening.
Now, I suggest going back to the first few chapters and maybe doing some revisions to make them as good as your latest chapters. In the first few chapters the story seems kind of rushed-quickly spreading from one scene to the next without much explanation or detail of the surroundings. Also, in the prologue the descriptions of the characters were, in my opinion, a little confusing. Also, it would've been nice to see just a little more emotion from Taro afte he learns his entire life has basically been a lie.
Besides that, a few spelling errors, and changing The Fog to The Mist, this is an awesome story so far. You have a knack for writing the action sequences and a firm grip on your unique plot and interesting/entertaining characters. Can't wait to see what you come out with next. Keep writing!
| Darket chapter 4 . 11/2/2006
It wouldn't even let me send this review the other day because it sid I already submitted one for this chap. THis is pretty cool, I did like how the chapter flowed out and built up at points, and I really liked it in the long run. Good work
| Darket chapter 3 . 10/2/2006
oh, ok. Now I know! good chap!
| Darket chapter 2 . 9/29/2006
Are those poems or song lyrics through the chaps? Just wonderin', they're cool. I like the action in this story a lot. It's amongst your best personally. I don't think that they're is anything that needs improvement. Good work
| popprincess-angel chapter 1 . 9/23/2006
wow i have never read this genre before but i absolutely love