Holy crap that's a depressing story. VERY well written.

The smile still on her face...reminds me of in Harry Potter, how when Fred Weasley died his last laugh was still across his face.

Oh my goodness, that was such a powerful ending. Beautiful writing and story against the harsh setting and mood, well done!

Whew! Dark! But incredibly well done!

This WAS good. I like that there isn't too much said about anything, especially for the last moments of the girl's life. It's amazing how quickly I came to sympathize with the guard (I imagine him being very young) without ever learning his name. I also like how easily you wove historical facts into the action of the short - the best kinds of fiction do it that way, so that I never notice learning something new or something I already knew because I'm too interested in the characters.

Nicely written piece. I hope to see more such things!

Regards,

Ten-chan

very good descriptive literary...i can see why you got a good grade on this...

keep up the good writing!

Gosh. This was so sad! I very nearly cried towards the end. You have quite some talent! The way you portray the emotions and solemn gravity of the situation combined with the horror of the Nazi reign is superb. No wonder you got a good score. .

I really like this, even though it is really sad. People ususally don't think of how the holocaust might have been for some of the Nazis. It reminded me of "Life is Beautiful," and how people make the best of the worst situations imaginable.

my gosh, that was good. i'm glad the guard felt that way, he deserved it. i dont understand why the guard shot her though, i mean didnt she go where she was supposed to go?

This is an interesting reflection on the part of a guard. However, if the Jews had just arrived from a ghetto, how come they were already in uniform? Sorry, I'm just a little bit picky with details like that.

Other than that, quite good.