Reviews for Temperance
J.E.Wyatt chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
My heart skipped a beat when reading the first paragraph, for I thought to myself: ah, now THIS is real Regency Romance!...Or maybe this is a Victorian romance? By the first chapter alone I couldn't tell. There weren't any fashion references for me to pinpoint exactly when this story was set. But the dialogues seemed to lean towards the Regency era phraseology...Or I just might be imagining everything in my mind. I digress. This story, so far, is very promising! I love your writing. Might I add that your writing emanates the elegence, fluidity, detail and lightness of Ms Gaskell? I wasn't surprised to see that you were a fan of her. And it really is a pity that you have only two chapters up. Have you not intention of continuing this story? You most definately should. This is lovely writing and a lovely start to what I'm sure will be a great romance. So keep up the great work!

Writer and FP Critic,

J.

P.S. This kind of story should be published!
Brackynn chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
Great start! I can tell I'm going to like this story - your writing style is very mature and you've built up your characters and the sense of intrigue very well. There is also a good balance of description and action, which is excellent. I'm already looking forward to reading the next installment, especially if it's going to be of such high quality. You obviously have a real flair for this type of writing :)

Just two small nitpicks. At one point, the stranger refers to Emily as 'Miss Bancroft' where I believe that it should be 'Miss Graham'. ("I can offer you nothing, Miss Bancroft," he replied ...) My second suggestion has nothing to do with your writing, but is about the chapter length. There are a lot of people who will simply skip over your great story because of the word count, which would be a shame. I would suggest maybe breaking each chapter into two or even three parts. For me, this is more of a practicality, as sometimes it's difficult to read so much on a glary computer screen. But it's really up to you, and I'll definitely keep reading regardless ;)

Anyway, awesome start with a lot of promise. Keep it up!
Hole Buddies chapter 1 . 9/30/2006
O i love this! you are deff going on my author alert list!
Balaurul chapter 1 . 9/29/2006
Haha, Mildred is so cool...I half-hoped she really was going to come to blows with the "ruffian" just to see her in action.

This is very well-written and promises to have unexpected results-I can't wait for the next chapter! You had your characters behave in such a way that wanted me to read on, although I must say I wanted you to cut to the chase sometimes-it seemed like there were too many scenes where they were talking about the same thing, really. Summat to think on. ;)

Cheers! I eagerly await the next installment.