|Reviews for Philosopher acres farm|
| Amelia4Allison chapter 3 . 5/28/2011
I like the idea of the story, but your writing is really choppy. it has a lot of dialogue, but not enough sensory details. I can barely follow along. And you start your quotations, but never seem to end them. I love this idea and i think you should try to rewrite this story how it is, just in more detail and try to find a beta to help with grammar. Or just try writing it on a word document that corrects spelling errors then copy and paste. I'm trying to just give you constructive criticism, but I REALLY do like the idea of this story, I just think you need more length.
Keep up the good work!
P.S. In the summary it said the girls name was Jen?
| Aaerie chapter 19 . 10/14/2009
cant wait till nxt chapter
| jax chapter 1 . 4/28/2009
i read three chapters and was so annoyed by your lack of talent i dont think i can try to read another story on this site for a while.
| vampiramoon chapter 2 . 3/25/2009
chek your facts, 2 thou, and 42 thou acers arent small. therfore the comunity isant small
| ChristianAngel01 chapter 19 . 12/29/2008
hmm..I totally forgot about this and I am sorry to say I lost my interest after so long but I will keep reading it to see if it will caught my interest again
ohh Great chapter :)
| HeroR chapter 3 . 6/28/2008
Nice beginning, but I noticed a lot of grammar errors. You may want to consider returning to this chapter and cleaning it up. It takes away from the story every time a error is seen.
Keep writing and keep up the good work.
| Chee chapter 3 . 6/6/2008
Like another reviewer said: the bold is very distracting.
Alright, dialouge. Boring. Too much of it. Add more details and less dialouge. It sounds like I'm reading a play, and that is bad, I'm reading a 'novel'.
There are also many other ways of formatting dialouge. The way you are formatting it gets very boring after awhile.
"blah blah blah blah," she said.
"blah blah blah blah," he said.
No. Change it up a bit.
"blah blah blah blah," she stammered, clicking her heels against the floor nervously, "blah blah blah blah blah."
The man looked at her awkwardly, leaning against the door frame, "blah blah?"
There are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes in here. So a beta reader will go you good.
I got bored and didn't continue reading. There is way too much dialouge, and it just bored the hell out of me.
You have a lot of potential so: I'm avalible as an editor for aspiring novelists on here, and if you can take pressure and harsh/advanced critques, email me if you'd like.
As an editor I literally tear apart your story. Finding every mistake, from grammar to bad story-telling, you make.
That's why I don't want you considering it if you don't handle pressure well, but if you can: drop me an email. :)
| Chee chapter 2 . 6/6/2008
I don't find this introduction helpful whatsoever. You can tell us, the readers, all of that information inside the story.
I'd recommend you cut out this introduction chapter and just jump right into the story.
/On Naylor rd/
What in the world is a "rd"?
If its supposed to be "road", spell it out.
| ChristianAngel01 chapter 18 . 6/6/2008
I absoultely love this I can not wait to see what happens next
Please finish your masterpeice :)
| Chee chapter 4 . 5/28/2008
The bold is very distracting...
| misery sister chapter 3 . 5/13/2008
You probably know this already, but the entire chapter was bold - thus making it very distracting when reading.
| Eve's Deception chapter 18 . 5/5/2008
you're a very good writer. very persistant and an excellent vocabulary. this is really good. great job.
| Nina Kindred chapter 18 . 4/21/2008
I'm still liking it. Keep up the good work
| Nina Kindred chapter 17 . 4/9/2008
Good job. I'm still very intrigued. Keep up the good work.
| Speak For the Noise chapter 15 . 3/24/2008
D this story's pretty nifty