Reviews for Ballerinas and Businessmen
brokendreams21 chapter 2 . 3/28/2007
I swear, I promised to review this like a million years ago...but yeah. I'm finally getting around to it...in class. But sh...that's besides the point.

So anyways, this re-write is as pretty and as powerful as the first. D This all makes me happy. It pretty much made my day here at school.

I can hear the music. Odd...seeing as how I can only really hear my class. Hrrm...

This is some pretty stuff...Better review from me later. D Teacher is getting suspicious...

Awesome job!

KATTY
herpius derpius7 chapter 2 . 3/13/2007
Ahh, this was just so brilliant in so many ways.

I love it.
empathic life chapter 2 . 3/13/2007
And here I thought it couldn't get any better. Just... wow. I'm entirely speechless. I love the way you really emphasized the dancing bit, and the alliteration was so very perfect. The original poem was great, but this is just... incredible. It goes so much deeper into the idea... Agh. I'm totally speechless, babe. Yours, Alex
empathic life chapter 1 . 3/13/2007
So. Apparently, I never reviewed the first version of this poem. So now I am. Honestly, babe, I'm wondering what you could've done with the re-write to make it better. It's already pretty darn astounding. I love the imagery, and the way you play with the words. It makes everything so vivid. Another great poem, Felicia. Yours, Alex
Elliptical Shapes chapter 2 . 3/11/2007
It seems abstract to me in many places and it is better for it. I like the fourth from last stanza, it really picks up the piece.

Alan.
SirScott chapter 2 . 3/9/2007
I think I would like to die in saddle. Anyway, that poem did remind me of a dream. How all sorts of people who don't belong together are somehow there. Keep up the good work.

SirScott
WyrdWolf chapter 2 . 3/7/2007
Ooh, Iambic Pentameter. Are you guys reading Julius Caesar, too?

I love storytelling stuff; songs and poetry that recount an event-they're a fav of mine. I especially love your little bursts of alliteration: jugglers and janitors, missiles and missionaries. They sound fantastic as well as having depth.

Outstanding.

Shane
Niels Stegeman chapter 1 . 10/19/2006
Wonderful, wonderful! I really enjoyed reading this, felicia. It has a rhythm to it, a natural balance. And it works. All I can say is: a good poem.
Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 10/3/2006
This has a wonderful rhythmn. A beat or pace really. I like the repetition that glues the whole thing together. And again, I truly like your conceptualization skills. You come up with unique themes and then surprise the reader with the sound and flow of the content. Well, back to this one in particular, the intensity of it works well. The beginning kind of slowly develops to a crescendo, and then escalates after "And I can't find myself willing to care", the next five stanzas can be read through the word placement very rapidly, which matches the falling darkness of the theme. You consistently do well with dark themes because you don't over do with excess. On a progression of the writer applause and compliment, you've really grown as a writer. You've expanded your literary borders tremendously since i've begun reading, so keep writing and working with other writers. MD:77.
General Populus Sloan chapter 1 . 10/2/2006
In your review of my story you said you wanted the opinion of the general populus. Well, here it goes.

Blerg.

Have a nice day.
heryseshta chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
I like this poem, it feels like she is casting her cares to the wind. It's carefree, spontaneous and unconventional. It also has a nice flow to it.
SirScott chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
Good poem.

Wishing You Good Health And Plenty Of Wealth, SirScott
Spirit Tigress chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
Interesting...
WyrdWolf chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
Woot for Hell! We must laugh at the agents as they suffer in the bad Hell...

This was really neat. Dancing with the Devil...I really liked the lines,

'because now I’m insaneand He is my favorite partner.'

Superbly ghetto.
rach5678 chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
Wow. This is really I good...I agree with the person below me...I love the ending.
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