|Reviews for Change of Rain|
| Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 10/19/2006
I guess, if it weren't for the amazing format of this poem, I wouldn't have much to say. I usually don't play around with the layout of my words so much, so I'm not sure how to review this. Ah, well. I might as well wing it.
1) There was a conspicous lack of punctuation here. Just an observation. Not a critique. The occasional period would certainly help measure the rests between lines, but maybe that would disrupt the 'rainfall' feeling of the poem. I'd reccommend experimenting a little with it, and seeing if it disrupts the feel you're going for.
2) "Rain always makes me feel that bliss doesn’t even exist". That's kind of a cool line. Most people talk about how rain makes them feel sad, but you took that several steps further.
3) The 'by myself' and 'my cold hand' were pretty cool, placement-wise. I read through the poem the first time without even seeing them, and it worked. Basically, they aren't essential to the flow of the poem, but when the reader notices them, they add something. I like that idea. It's sorta like the pivot-lines in tanka.
4) The happy resoultion surprised me a little bit. Maybe I'm too used to fictionpress angst. You didn't really dwell on it, but I'm glad it ended well.