Reviews for Dragonflesh
nightdragon0 chapter 11 . 11/24/2006
Certainly happy to be doing my part, heh.

Well, seems like Karan took the direct approach to Anvar’s queries. Sometimes, I guess that's just the best way.
nightdragon0 chapter 10 . 11/21/2006
Poor Karan can't handle the pressure face-to-face, can he? Never seems to get a break.

I notice that they now refer to him as Notable Karan. Because of his current size difference?
Kaiwaf chapter 10 . 11/21/2006
Juicy, very juicy. I much look forward to the next installment. The grammatical errors have gotten less, too. As well, the choppiness of the earlier chapters has all but vanished. A very smooth read at the end, and quite engrossing too.

Kaiwaf chapter 6 . 11/21/2006
Contradictory to your statement, I quite like things from Quirl's point of view.
Kaiwaf chapter 5 . 11/20/2006
i likd ur story, plz reveiw mine

(Yeah, I really have nothing to say but there are still grammatical errors and I find myself captured by your story. :) )
Kaiwaf chapter 4 . 11/20/2006
You have quite a few grammatical errors within your story, which rather surprises me. I'm sure you'd catch them on a read through, if not I'd be happy to pick out the most obvious ones for you :P (and maybe, just maybe I could get my friend Squid to look over it, for she is a critic far better than I could ever hope to be. Plus, she's a grammatical whiz and has a knack for picking out the little things)

Oh yeah. When you're putting two words together, use one dash (red-eyed). When you're connecting two halves of a sentence or what have you, use two. (There was a shortage of food in the cavern-she knew that. The color red was appalling-though certainly in style at the moment-and she loathed having to use it within her fashions) I bring this up only because I keep getting confused -.-

"'M-Marshal Winsdor! It’s a Huge Dark Iron Thing With Teeth! S-s-second only to the dreaded Commoner Beef!'" For that, I might very well become your fangirl.
Kaiwaf chapter 3 . 11/20/2006
Oh yeah, and by the way, the draconic tendencies you give Karan's humans are awesome.

"Because his last two short stories involving Marshal Winsdor had gone over well, there was no reason why his novel shouldn’t do the same." I rescind my comment from earlier about the footwear XD

I also enjoy how you incorporate cannibalism into your dragon society, a sort of genteel savagery.

Your writing is a pleasure to read, which is a compliment I cannot spend upon most people within fictionpress.
Kaiwaf chapter 2 . 11/20/2006
' tearing out chunks of rock with his paws' Again, you show a big rift in how you're choosing Karan to portray the humans. Karan realizes the need for foot covering, but makes it so the human's hands don't need covering as well? Tearing out chunks of rock with one's hands would tear them to shreds, and it's hard to forget that when you're working with so original a character.

"Karan only managed to snap the stylus cleanly in half." hehehe, so you DO eventually switch to stylus.

0o I'm entirely unsure as to if you're keeping the Dragon society close to human bounds on purpose for your evil scheming, but I shall not mention it again.

You seem to write in short segments, which I don't entirely like. That is a style choice and your decision, but it really disrupts the flow. It's great when you want it to be choppy on purpose, but I don't think I could last if it was throughout the entire novel.

Your characterization is excellent. I enjoy it :)
Kaiwaf chapter 1 . 11/20/2006
Well. It does draw you in right from the start, a trait I admire.

I'm not sure your intentions with dragons and making them have their own society apart from humans (as I've discovered you have a taste for mocking the fantasy genre), but the pencil is certainly not helping matters. As well I am not sure what "era" you're aiming for in dragon society, but perhaps 'stylus' would work better than 'pencil'?

"his eyelids shutting one by one." Makes me think he has three or more eyes :P

Watch out for those grammatical errors, they bite.

Whatever your point, these dragons do seem really humanized. As well, you must remember that in such a world as this, where I assume all creatures do not need clothing or weapons, the concept of such a weak being as a human would be groundbreaking. It deserves, thusly, more than just casual remark that Karan's human is wearing 'footwear' (something I assume no dragon ever need don), which would be nothing short of genius in the dragon's world, assuming there are no species that need clothing or weapons.

While the food interlude is very informative, it also is not very necessary (excepting the part where we meet Karan's fellow residents) and rather disrupts the flow of this first chapter (the break between the end of the feast and Karan getting through the door could easily be remedied with a simple sentence opener).

No need for the ellipsis (I never know if I'm spelling that right) at the cliffhanger, either :P

Very original. I like.
Casey Drake chapter 10 . 11/20/2006
Pressing questions, eh?

oh, Karan's reaction to the fan-mob was interesting.

:) CD
Shadowhound chapter 10 . 11/20/2006
And the plot thickens...

Thank you for that description of wyverns. In a way, it helps describe why the dragons don't like them since, as Anvar mentioned, they were wrong is several ways and like the perfect dragons. Oh well. Anyway, not a bad chapter.

Casey Drake chapter 9 . 11/14/2006
oh dear, i have a feeling this is gonna turn up again...

:) CD
nightdragon0 chapter 9 . 11/14/2006
I guess there's a lot of uneasy tension between the dragons and wyverns. Although they do trade and everything, but it's interesting that they're somewhat at odds. Though we don't exactly know why yet...

Quite a situation Quirl's in heh. Well at least she wasn't forced to court the Governor's son in the end, if you get what I mean. I'm guessing it's similar to a 'prince' liking the 'common' girl.
Shadowhound chapter 9 . 11/14/2006
Interesting issue of racism at the end. Aside from war and perhaps physical differences, what reasons do the dragons and wyverns have for hating each other? You've mentioned that both are in a mutually benificial trade relationship, though you have mentioned the wyverns being a bit more primitive than the dragons. I'm curious as to what the dragon's history is with the wyverns. Will any wyverns be making appearances in this story?

Anyway, nice chapter. The bit about Esteemed Dornogin not wanting Quirl to accept his son's advances was interesting. I half expected him to say something like, "You're not good enough for my son." Usual upperclass snobbery towards the plebians.

Nice chapter. I hope to see more soon.

Shadowless Rain chapter 8 . 11/8/2006
You have to write more!

I like the dragonflesh and devoring thing, its a new twist on dragons that I have not read of before.

O will Karan find a mate?

I can't wait!
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