Reviews for Dragonflesh
CabbyHat chapter 7 . 4/30/2007
This is very sweet and wistful. Although the behaviour of Karan and his sister at the end did confuse me a bit, though; are they actually a bit fond of each other, or am I just reading it wrong? Or is it just Karan's sense of nostalgia?
CabbyHat chapter 4 . 4/30/2007
Huge Dark Iron Thing With Teeth, eh? Yeah, nothing constructive, once again... but that made me smile. Thought you should know that.
CabbyHat chapter 3 . 4/30/2007
My apologies once again for not reading your stories for so long. Just thought I'd leave a note to say I really like this one. 'Fraid I have nothing constructive to say, but I'm already finding myself in love with Karan.
Sabriel Skye chapter 9 . 4/30/2007
I know I haven't gotten around to reviewing your story lately, but trust me, I have been reading it.

I feel, at this point, that I am more interested in what is happening with Quirl rather than Karan. Even though Chapter 8 was intriguing, it just wasn't "pulling me in" as much as the story with Quirl. Maybe it's because I want to know what's up with the weird smell in her room. *shrugs*

I very much like how you are parodying the works of fantasy that have dragons doing things in human ways. Now, I too believe that it is somewhat preposterous to think that a dragon would do anything in a human way, but I also think that it is very important for the reader to understand what is going on. If you show dragons, or any fantasy animal for that matter, doing things in a completely different way, unheard of to any of us humans, then we lose the connection because we cannot relate. The reason that most authors do show animals/dragons/etc that way is because they want to establish some sort of understanding between their life and the lives of the characters/animals in their stories.

You probably already knew that, but I was just commenting on it.

Another thing, I cannot comprehend why everyone has such a problem with you. You've tremendously helped shape my work to make it better, and an opinion is as valuable as gold, whether it be criticism or praise (personally, i prefer criticism). So, just always know that you can criticize my work as much and as often as you please.

I cannot wait to read Chapter 10 tomorrow. I'm making this my daily reading. ]

x
SapphireEmerald chapter 2 . 4/26/2007
I would also like to ask, who the hell do you think you are? Criticizing peoples work the way you do. You did it to my fiance, and what you said in your statements was infuriating, if you want to know what the story was that you criticized, it was Draconian. Ok so there were a few spelling and grammer errors, but hey no one is perfect and there for constructive criticism is needed. What you did was exceed that and stepped over the line, you were an ass and a total moron. Come on if you want to criticize people like that get into the real world, find yourself a life and go criticize the professionals and not the ones who write for fun or even to build up skill. So again I please ask you, watch your mouth and remember what comes around goes around. Also stop making an ass out of yourself, I see that you aren't liked by many.

Yours truely

Sapphire
SapphireEmerald chapter 1 . 4/26/2007
So I began to read your story, and I found it to be blan and quite boring. No offense though, you do have a great immagination and can see that you have a strength in writing. Yet the strength I state isn't that one of talent through creating a world of something that you can bring to life through the readers mind but you have strength in your grammer and punctuation. Yet as I said you story started off with confusion, I didn't have a clue as to what was happening, you don't give much detail there for leaving the reader riddled with questions and thoughts. Why is a dragon writing a book when it doesn't have posable thumbs? Another thing that I found to be really displeasing was your choice in names, I mean come on you could have found a better name for a dragon instead of "Respectable" which is showing your weakness in creativity and style. You are an ammature that is for sure, you are one who does not take the time into finding something that will catch ones mind, yet you take the easy way out and use an every day word for a fictionary name. I would like to point one thing out though, the only thing that stood out in your story was the title, and that is why I read it in the first place. But to my suprise I was sadly mistakened and found myself reading a second rate piece of writing. As the saying goes "Do not judge a book by its cover." and that is true, read it first and you shall find out the truth inside. Anyways as I ramble on I would also love to state that I noticed on your page you say "Harr!" what is the intent of saying "Harr!" It makes you sound like a pirate, if that is what you are. Anywho it is a tragedy that the good name of fiction that includes the wonderful world of the dragons has been spoiled by your silliness. Dragons writing books in unbelievable, please next time you write something, do it right and leave the dragon in it's domain and not in a house writing a book.

Yours truely

Sapphire
Casey Drake chapter 36 . 3/27/2007
Hmm. Very interesting. The reading-aloud bit was a definite twist, and I liked that.

I'm a little confused by the end of the epilogue (Anvar's bit) but rereading will probably help with that.

All in all, good story, as always.

Over and out,

:) CD
Shadowhound chapter 36 . 3/19/2007
Epilogue, what? Where'd that come from?

No complaints. Both Karan and Anvar's ending satisifies the reader, though Quirl is only mentioned because she evicted Karan and Elured.

Good story. I wish you luck getting it published.

Shadowhound
nightdragon0 chapter 36 . 3/18/2007
Well, didn't end the way I expected it to. But we see that the characters' lives go on, as all stories should...
feeder chapter 36 . 3/18/2007
A great ending to a great story.

What I really liked was the letter from the August because it shows that Karan is not entirely the hero and all that - his actions caused harm as well, so I guess it makes it a more satisfying way to end it.

I was expecting you to feature Quirl in the epilogue, but actually I think it works well having Anvar instead - maybe wyverns aren't so bad after all?

I can't really find fault with it, so well done.
Shadowhound chapter 35 . 3/16/2007
Marshal Winsdor has mentioned the Huge Dark Iron Thing With Teeth several times. What is it?

Not a lot to say about this chapter. For once. Congratulations.

Shadowhound
Lonna chapter 35 . 3/16/2007
"'"Me? Work with you? My prisoner?"'"

For the sake of grammar, you mean "I". "'I? Work with you?'"

I'm a nitpickin' foo'.
feeder chapter 35 . 3/16/2007
Good chapter, as well-written as the rest of the story.

But a few things have occured to me that aren't specifically related to this chapter, just the story in general.

First, in a society where status is utterly defined by size, and where size is in turn reliant on the amount of dragonflesh or Sercanethyst consumed, wouldn't there be chaos in the city where power is so readily within reach? Especially as I assume the whole evolutionary process of dragons would have been geared towards strength and fighting. Or are the dragons civilized enough to suppress what must be a very strong instinct for them?

Considering that they live in such a brutal society, and considering that they are treated as little more than slaves, what's to stop the Untitleds just starting a revolution? They would surely have the numbers to make it feasible, especially as everytime they kill a dragon they can eat it - thus becoming larger themselves and more able to sustain a rebellion. Unless they are supressed mentally as well - a task that might be performed by the Emberseers who may teach them that they are supposed to live in slums etc, but then Insilan doesn't seem to be doing that... maybe it's something to consider, or if you have considered it then could you explain it to me anyway?

I'd also be interested to know a bit about the biology of your dragons. what fuels their inner fire? Unless it's a metaphorical fire that you're talking about, which I suppose would make sense given the fact that fire is clearly such a spritual element to the dragons.

It's interesting that you have trains - the dragons obviously live in a very technologically advanced world, and they evidently have some way of mass producing books and things, but this technology doesn't appear to have had much of an impact on the average dragon's home - technology seems relatively absent. I mean, as humans we choose to waste most of our lives working because we see some kind of reward - i.e. wealth which can then provide various luxuries - cars, computers etc. we put something into civilization and supposedly get something out of it. What I'm trying to say is, what do the dragons get out of this deal? What benefits does civilization grant them?

A lot of these points probably wouldn't have much impact on your story and might be completely irrelevant, but maybe a few mentions here and there would be good, just to develop your world a bit further.

Anyway, as I said, a good chapter, and an enjoyable story.
nightdragon0 chapter 35 . 3/16/2007
Rather odd idea from Karan there, but I don't entirely get what he's trying to do. Still, we haven't 'seen' much of Marshal Winsdor lately.
Casey Drake chapter 34 . 3/15/2007
I was expecting that defense. Now, that takes care of Karan's most pressing problem; now, to deal with the Sercanethyst geyser and the factory dragons...

:) CD
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