Reviews for Dragonflesh
Casey Drake chapter 27 . 2/7/2007
...Holy... Why didn't I expect you to pull that?

:) CD
nightdragon0 chapter 27 . 2/6/2007
It's interesting that Karan's and Quirl problems seem to be quite opposites of each other. Karan's basically trying to go 'it's not my fault' while Quirl seems to think 'it's all my fault'.
Shadowhound chapter 27 . 2/6/2007
Oh, come on! Pick one story and follow it for at least two chapters! Karan just walked into the courtroom with tears streaming down his muzzle, and I want to hear more about his experiences! Quirl is a nice character, but more is happening to Karan right now and it kind of overshadows Quirl and the events going on around her. It makes me resent her a little bit, though I admire your resolution to tell both Karan's and Quirl's story. I understand why you are switching the two off, but it is a little frustrating to the reader when he is wondering what is happening to Karan, and get Quirl instead. Hers is the more emotional aspect of your story, and it will probably be very important later, but I can only resent her right now because more is happening around Karan that I am more inclined to want to know about. Yes, I'm blasting Quirl a bit...

Place that offers high prices. Reth? That's where Karan is! Wait...damn, just Quirl...

Okay, good. Quirl coughed something out of her crop, meaning it is a biological part of her. That has to be pretty nasty, you even say she wipes a bit of slime off of it. Why not just create saddlebags or something? It must be pretty uncomfortable having the draconic equivalent of a folder stuck in their crop, where ever that is.

Dornogin is a very progressive thinker. I guess with his wealth he can afford to be.

The comment Dornogin made about sending Lodver with Anvar, it makes me think he might not care what some of his underlings think. Lodver has already shown problems with dealing with the wyverns because of their different beliefs. Is Dornogin unaware or uncaring...We'll find out.

Interesting soliloquy Dornogin gave. Kind of odd, though. I can guess why business partners might be weary of making trade agreements with someone who talks to themselves.

What would happen if Hanor died? Would the deal between Quirl and Dornogin sour and fall apart? Or would it carry on as if nothing would happen. What are the legal ramifications of such an incident? Would the government seize her possessions?

And other quasi-good questions.

Shadowhound
Shadowhound chapter 26 . 2/6/2007
If you are having trouble with your court scene and can't find any information to help, and I really hate saying this, try watching some movies that take place in and around the courtroom. Cheaper than consulting a lawyer, and it shouldn't rot your brain too much.

Where is the crop located? I remember Karan swallowing a package or letter before, so I remember that it is in the body (unless I'm mistaken, in which case this is irrelevant), but where would the crop be located on your dragon? I'm not very familiar with either equine or draconic biology, and the latter seems to change depending on the writer.

I like how Karan starts thinking about what Marshal Winsdor would do in the situation. It makes it easier to relate to both the dragon and his fictional character. Ironically, it also makes me a bit curious about the tales of Marshal Winsdor.

'Anyone who knows anything about writing knows self-inserts are a bad idea.' ...Thank you for saying that. Now, hopefully, a few certain people will read that line and reevaluate their stories. Something about a mystic knight/priest and lightning witch with a crystal.

Good chapter. As usual, by the time I finished reading it you've already posted another chapter, but that will have to wait until I get home. I like how Insilan is moderately twisting the situation.

Shadowhound
Casey Drake chapter 26 . 2/3/2007
..hmm... for spur-of-the-moment and unused to speaking, Karan did a pretty good job...

:) CD
nightdragon0 chapter 26 . 2/2/2007
I know a lot of the scenes with Insilan in the factory area have been building up for a scene like this, and it's certainly done well. I think it's very clear that the Untitleds are rallying around Karan because he 'gives them hope'.

Calexia is the one uncomfortable for a change. Guess she hasn't been around Untitleds much.
MadMaverick chapter 25 . 1/30/2007
The only critical thing I can think of at this precise moment is that mincemeat is not meat at all. At a couple places in the story you metion that dragons eating it - but it's made from raisins, apricots, and other fruit. Other than that, I like this story very much, fun to read, not involving princes, princesses, or the jaunty professional theif/assassin archetype. I'm also glad to see that I'm not the only one out there that loathes Paolini.
Shadowhound chapter 25 . 1/29/2007
While I highly doubt that you are jealous of Paolini, I do think you are a bit too obsessive about hating him. Then again, that hatred might be rooted in jealously of the popularity Eragon has achieved with poor writing.

Anvar needs to learn some subtely. "Tell me. Now." Doesn't usually work well with most ladies. Aside from a slap in the face, his mother needs to sit down and have an embarrassing conversation about how to talk to females. And then he doesn't like the answer Quirl gives him. For a fantasy character, he seems to be deeply rooted in reality. I know a lot of people like that, and am always confused about why they can be so stupid. Then again, I am the third person, so I know what both sides don't in this situation.

A large portion of this story seems to be composed of people (or dragons) not telling someone important something. Quirl and Anvar, Karan and the authorities. Perhaps they just need to be forced together and made to talk. Then again, that is what is happening to Karan.

Good chapter, though my comments were more opinion than an actual good review. Meaning I had less to comment on, which is always good. Anyway,

Shadowhound
Casey Drake chapter 25 . 1/26/2007
Oh great, everything's going wrong...

Ah well, it will be interesting to see how this turns out.

:) CD
nightdragon0 chapter 25 . 1/26/2007
The misunderstandings are certianly flying back and forth. What's nice is that they quite tuned to the dragon nature of this story, making it pretty interesting.

Very ironic that when Quirl is finally able to speak up about her feelings, Anvar takes it the wrong way and doesn't believe her.
Sabriel Skye chapter 3 . 1/24/2007
Wow, definitely another "page-turner", although I don't think that term applies to the internet. I'm definitely understanding more and more about the draconic world, and I feel so enthralled in it, that I dare myself to stop so that I may have more to read and enjoy as the days go on.

I'm very interested in the ending of this particular chapter, because how you left it, would make the reader (Me ]) guess that Karan might get into trouble for this dragonflesh he is consuming. Maybe?

I am also thoroughly intrigued by your word usage. You always seem to know what to say at the right time. I find myself entirely jealous of your writing skills.

Cannot wait to read the next chapter!

x
Shadowhound chapter 24 . 1/23/2007
How does a dragon become an Emberseer? Are there certain places that they can be found, or are they just special children at birth and offered to Vald? So how does an Emberseer come about?

'Communal furnace?' Would that be the equivalent to a public bath?

Perhaps I'm thinking on a much simpler plane of thought, but what makes Insilan think that the court case is happening simple because the bigger dragons are afraid of Karan's words. Yes, it quite possible could be that, but then they could just eat the poor boy and be done with it. Trump up some slight and challenge him (Hire a skilled fighter of equal size to do it for them). The court case will be too public, and it will get too much publicity where the smaller dragons will be able to see if and how Karan is being unfairly tried, which will only make them angrier. Even if only the factory owning Augusts and Eminents unstand its significance, they probably have friends who would listen. I'm starting to think that the trial is actually because of the unlawful Devouring. If the August was supposed to be gone for a few days, and died midflight, crashed into the ground, her brood wouldn't know she was gone. How could they know to Devour her? I'm ready to get into court and hear the official charges from the horse's mouth.

Good chapter, it raises a lot of questions.

Shadowhound
Casey Drake chapter 24 . 1/22/2007
Hmm... I did not think of that... of course if the dead dragon was of a high rank, the family would not leave it where it fell to rot.

I wonder how they're going to work this out...

:) CD
Shadowhound chapter 23 . 1/22/2007
Honestly, a "rod-shaped writing apparatus of limestone with a graphite core and a sharpened end" would work, or you could just call it a stylus or some other varient of 'writing utensil.' Who's giving you trouble about your pencils? Also, why are you annoyed at a protagonist being named Luthien?

I like Calexia's comment about the three tailing dragons being 'fruit eaters.' It helps show the way your dragons view wyverns even more than you have previously.

Nice ending. I'm wondering what the noise is, also if anyone is going to recognize Karan in the next chapter. I keep on imagining a factory load of small dragons coming to his aid. Anyway, good chapter, now I just have to find time to read the next one...

Shadowhound
nightdragon0 chapter 24 . 1/22/2007
Karan certainly didn't start his writing with the intention of 'helping' the Untitleds, but now it seems like he's been thrust in completely on their 'side'. Eating the dragonflesh may have been one major contributing factor to his 'problems', but his writings have certainly added another point to that.
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