|Reviews for Rainbow Fish|
| Yuki chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
| Esquirella chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
This was a fantastic first chapter! Grat job, especially for someone who says she sucks at writing. I think you did a fabulous job!
| Yoyo-chan chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
This is an interesting premise and your writing isn't bad. The beginning moves a little too fast... you don't start back too far, but there's way too much information about his life that you don't fully explain before everything changes. The thing with Ashton is especially confusing since it seems like Shaun hates him and then all of a sudden he doesn't and that's not even the first time? And if that's the last time we see Ashton, the hating of him isn't really even important to begin with. If you're going to make a relationship that complex in the beginning you need to make sure everything is fully explained in a way that doesn't confuse the reader before you completely change what is going on. Honestly, a lot of what happened before the attack seems really unnecessary. Hopefully all of it will end up coming back and being important later. If you read a lot, you'll notice that for good writers, everything that is mentioned ties into everything else.
It is interesting, though, and I look forward to seeing what happens.
| noname52 chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
I really like this. I'd say your writing is definitely better than you think it is. You must keep writing this. I want to know more!
| C. Khafre chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
very original and interesting. and um... not good writing? haha. update soon please!
| Mage Dudette chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
wow. what a start to a story! yay for tara! more more more! please? brain-dead. lack of sleep, sorry. really liked it though! _
| Liviania chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Interesting story-quite the fun world you've set up.
| Shadow1290 chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
hey i like it! its seems interesting please update soon! MORE SOON!
| turtledonkey27 chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
this is pretty cool :) i have nothing constructive to add.
| GinnyYvette chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
OOh I really like this story. It's an awesome idea. I wonder what happened to shaun? That's really weird. But anyway, I'm really looking forward to you guys updating!
| Ubiquitous Muffin Smuggler chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
*gasp* I dissapeared! LOL..My name is Marcella too and it's uncanny! I can't wait to see more of this story!
| magalina chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Hey! Great start! I liked the way it was written
So, where the heck is Ashton... He did fall with him, didnt he? ... Is he the assasin from the sumary? Oh, update soon! XD
| eteled chapter 1 . 10/4/2006
Okay, I really liked this and the concept. Only a couple of minor things I noticed that didn't read quite right:
She pushed a thick part of hair, the same thick brunette hair as Shaun’s...
It would read better if you wrote:
She pushed a lock of hair, the same thick brunette hair as Shaun's...
so as to avoid repeating yourself.
Dimly, he realized he needed to movie...
That should be move :D
Apart from those two minor details, this is a very well written piece, especially from someone who describes themselves as not very good at writing. Well done!