hi dalr, havent read the "old" version, but i can say that i like it! yup, and make it long, so i have mucho nice time to read, as for he hunk, well i just love a TDH, yummi. and for prestons sake i hope that he will sometime get his act together, reine sounds like a tres cool babe.

hey,this is good so far,I hope to read more soon:)

Gah! Update! Please? Wow...the freaky thing is, you wrote that note on my birthday...o.o

No! AUTHORS NOTES ARE NOT COOL! I got so excited when I saw you had a new chapter up :( ... I'm glad you're taking the time to redo some of your story though, good on you! That's what reviews and editing are for! Just next time, please don't post a new chapter with an authors note. Please update soon!

AH. I HATE AUTHOR NOTES! TRICKS ME INTO BELIEVING ITS A NEW CHAPTER! SETTING PEOPLE UP FOR . lol. update soon(:

I love it so far! It's fun and moves at a good pace. Keep it up!

ohoh. I like her name, Reine. It's really unique sounding and pretty. I like Jace's name too! hahaha Marc is cute though, the whole, I'm a boy, I'm macho, type thing going for him. I like Andie though :D She's really blunt, and hopefully becomes friends with Reine? I really do hope that Preston is jealous, because that makes things lots juicier. Gah Jace is really a sweetie, I'm at crossroads for who I like more...another fantast chapter :D

ah I love Jase so far! I like cute boys who are funny and adorable and sweet and such. hehe, I like his pickup line too, pickup lines are always so hilarious-are your legs tired? -blank look-because you've been running through my mind all night! xD Jase makes her smile, and he has sparkly eyes, is good :D teehee. I like husky voices, and and Preston is jealous perhaps? wah already it's getting addicting.

i really like it. update soon!

aw I like the first chapter so far! That whole prince charming bit and with Preston. heh, Preston sounds hot, the whole raven black hair and green eyes is pretty killer. And then there's Callie who already seems smackable. The heroine I like though, and even though she doesn't want a prince charming, I hope she gets a fantastic and wonderful and Gorgeous, with a capital G, guy. Either I hope Preston turns around...or another lovey guy pops into the picture? ah moving onwards, I like this a lot so far, even though it's only one chapter, but sounds really interesting. :D

I just realized that in my previous review, I mixed up the chapters by accident because I forgot that chapter 1 was the prologue. So chapter 1 is really chap 2 and chapter 2 is really chap 3. Sorry, my bad P

I really like your story so far, but there are some things that don't add up.

-In chapter one, Reine got a ride home from Jase, so she should have already seen his car. However, in chapter 2, you said that she had never seen it before and that she didn't even know he had a car.

-When Reine and Jase were having their conversation in chapter 2, I thought they were on their way to the bleachers, but then you started talking about how they were coming down from the bleachers when I didn't even know that they were already there.

-you have other inconsistencies that are harder to change, such as whether or not Preston knows that she likes him or not. I thought he didn't know, but in the previous chapter, you said that he already knows.

There were other inconsistencies but I can't remember them all specifically. I think you should read over all the things that you wrote about Callie because I think some parts didn't add up as I was reading the story.

I hope this helps you sort out your story a little better. I really do like your story, and if you could just fix your mistakes and edit this story a bit more, everything will flow more consistently, and that would just make your story better. I hope you update soon! This has great potential )

did you notice in the beginning of your story you wrote that the dad died and now the dad is alive and the mother died when she was 13

Hey just some helpful hints to well help you on things like continuity.

Keep a cheat sheet especially on the characters there looks and a basic bio/ personalty description. also if it's needed a time line is very good to add in.

A content beta is your best friend when writing. They will help you with things like continuity and plot/character development, as well as a bunch of other stuff (just make sure said beta is not a push over and only keeps telling you how great you are)

I hope this helps and I would just like to say im only posting this at all (I really don’t review or post to stories all that often something like 16 reviews in the last year and never to an’s) because I really want a real chapter 4 soon lol I have been enjoying this very much so far.

PS. I know how hard it is to find a beta reader let me know if you need help I have some experience if you think you would like some help.

Really enjoying ur story, can't wait 2 read more frm u.