Lols.

Well, it's deffinetly orriginal. I've never seen a write badly guide before, but this is deffinetly how one should be done!

This made me laugh so hard! Especially the paragraph that was stealing the Artemis Fowl plot. And just one minor thing: I've noticed in the pieces of yours that I've read that when you use the word(s) 'separate', 'separating', 'separates', etc. that you spell it with an 'e' instead of an 'a' in the second syllable - e.g. seperating. And I like I said, that's pretty minor, but it might be something you want to fix. D

Hey, me again. You forgot to mention not to use spell check or self editing. Do people really use Jane Doe for one of their character's names? I seriously hope I don't cross a character named that.

I love these stories

Sticking a chan to everybody's name, never mind that it's only meant for kids or your close friends. Never mind that though the reader might not have learnt japanese you replace greeting like "hello" with "ohiyo" to show off how much japanese you know.

Suddening changing language although the essay is classified as "english" going:

"woo aii nii" (I love you in chinese) without explaining what the hell it means.

HAHAHA!Apollo Beast Girl Genius eat pie of SUSPICIOUS MEATS!(let's just pretend that made sense)

You forgot that all teenaged characters should have unlimited disposable income while at the same time lack parents who notice that they are gone for five days. Popular songs that you will have forgotten in a year should be mentioned by name and quoted copiously.

Really though, this is pretty funny.

~403F

Oh, i'd totally read a story on evil oompa loompas, sounds great! ;)

Lmao. I love this one! It's where I was taught to comment on your previous piece, OMG! Becoming Totally Popular on Fictionpress.

You've really done a wonderful job! I was laughing reading start to finish! I hope that your other works are as funny, if not funnier, than this piece.

-Kathyana

Darn it. I must be a insane then, because I -love- Author's Notes whether at the begining or end of a story(middle is a bit much, though). I didn't know it annoys people. I think it's really great to get a peak at the mind of the author I guess. Maybe that's why there are so many in my own books. Hmm. I may have to rethink that.

Anyway, this was really great. Funny and also very helpful. Thank you for posting.

ohmygod oompa loompas egsist? dat's lyke, ttly skary1!

It pains me to write like that...

This was hilarious. It's fun to read sarcastic things like this, and you do a really good job with them.

P.S. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings, although you might've known that and just written "the guy who wrote Lordof the Rings" anyway...

I think you got down pretty much everything about bad writing. If there's anything I'd like to add, then it would be when a story ends with "And they lived happily ever after" or something like "And so the journey continues".

No, I think that pretty much coveres it;) But, I think writing bad would be harder than trying to write good, because it would bug me so much I'd go insane and shoot myself.

And I know just the person (or perhaps people) who would dance on my grave.

This is great!

OMG! Your writing rocks! please review myne, PLEASE DO!

WOW, TY I USED THIS GUIDE TO WRITE A WINNING NOVEL! PLEASE SEE IT, I OWE IT ALL 2 U.

-Feminism. Not that, that's bad. But like: "She wore pants cuz she didn't like how the male gender forbid her frum wearin teh pants of MEN! So she was going to be speshyful and rebeliouz and wear teh pants of MEN! She also wore baggy tops becuz they hid her perfect curves which teh evil mens just loved oogle. ALL MENS WERE EVUL!"

Nothing worng with feminism, just putting it blatantly and just being stupid with it. Or even the male version whose name has escaped me.

-Adding random Japanese. "Hey, Mary-chan!" ect

~Lysarose