|Reviews for Melody|
| Silly-girl15 chapter 10 . 10/25/2007
LOVE THE STORIE! TOtaly awsome. How coem you re-wrote the old one though?
| The Midnights Sun chapter 10 . 10/18/2007
now im listening to dance dance.
guilty pleasure indeed.
I love it.
| The Egg chapter 2 . 10/11/2007
Okay, so the first thing I'm going to say is a positive, which is good...I like the organization. The first (second?) chapter brings some promise, but I'm wondering if this organization could be used as a cover-up for a boring plot line. As in, this entire story is going to be about Melody's struggle with reality and, what could turn out to be a parallel, struggle with DePalo.
Anyway, there're some typos. Such as: '“...But it’s not so great when you block out the real world with it.' There's a quote missing at the end. Also, commas are needed. Surprisingly, though, you didn't kill any words with horrible spelling...aside from 'hot', which you added an extra 't' to, but of course that was intended.
Even though the chapter started out with promise, it ended in shreds. Like shreds of dialogue. A good paragraph or two would be nice.
All in all, my prediction was half-wrong; there's a story, although it looks kind of shaky, and there're characters, even though they (with the possible exception of Melody) might prove to be just a tad shallow. Not good, especially because shallow leads prove to make a bad story.
Somewhat interested what will happen next, and as I will repeat throughout, there IS promise. But we'll see.
| The Egg chapter 1 . 10/11/2007
Well, in Romance you'll find romance, in Biography you'll find journals, and in Young Adult you'll find angst. So now that I'm prepared to be harsh and cynical, let's get this over with.
| the midnights sun chapter 9 . 9/25/2007
she just wants matt.
great great grreat job!:]
| Tomiko90 chapter 9 . 9/25/2007
She must be afraid of commitment! What else would it be? Unless it's because she wants to be with Matt again? But they haven't seen each other in so long.
Can't wait for your next update! :)
| Tomiko90 chapter 8 . 9/24/2007
Okay, I'd be kind of mad at Beth if she just left me there!
But at least Melody had Matt there, he really is sweet! I don't think she should get invovled with Luke... I sense trouble with him!
| Tomiko90 chapter 7 . 9/24/2007
I think I'd rather her go back with Matt! It's cute how they were together in 3rd grade! But now Luke is probably going to get mad...
| Tomiko90 chapter 6 . 9/24/2007
It's okay about having short chapters! I ALWAYS end up writing short ones even when I tell myself, "Okay! I am going to make this chapter longer!" and it ends up being 5 pages long...
I hope Melody's mom gets a divorce! She shouldn't let that loser control her feelings like that!
I like Beth! She's pretty funny, and I wish I had a friend like her!
| Tomiko90 chapter 5 . 9/24/2007
Huh! Where did he go?
Does this mean she's going to start liking him now? :O
| Tomiko90 chapter 4 . 9/24/2007
How cute! :)
I hope their relationship turns out to be fine...
And since I haven't read the previous version of this, I'm not sure who Matt is... but I'll keep reading!
| Tomiko90 chapter 3 . 9/24/2007
This chapter was sad. I couldn't imgaine how it must feel to hear your parents yell at each other like that.
| Tomiko90 chapter 2 . 9/24/2007
Very good so far!
I'll definately add it to my C2 :)
| Tomiko90 chapter 1 . 9/24/2007
Hello! I got your PM.
I already like how the story is sounding! I'll keep reading :)
| savsnickadoodle chapter 7 . 9/24/2007
This is interesting...can't wait to see where you go with it. Update soon!