Reviews for When Storm Clouds Brew
SomeRandomScribbles chapter 1 . 6/16/2011
Beautiful poem :) The message is strong, and the imagery you use to describe it is very effective. I particularly like the build up of tension from "you are broken" to "or death brushes near" - great use of repetition.

Some of those full stops might be better as semi-colons or hyphens to improve the flow a little - full stops can make the poem a little stop-start.

I like the way you use "you" a lot - it makes the poem very direct and personal :)
Lady DreamWriter chapter 1 . 6/18/2007
I love the feeling of solitude in this piece. Sitting outside is always a great time to reflect on what is really important to a person. Life is like apples, some perfect and yummy, and others are rotten and full of worms. Yet you need both good and bad experiences in order to have a full and balanced life. However, even in the bad times, there is always something to be learned in the process. Again, a wonderful and inspiring piece.


(from Reviewers_Found)
addicted2cocoa chapter 1 . 6/18/2007
The subject of your poem is interesting, something everyone can relate to, the need to protect yourself from hurt.

The title of your poem is very effective in relation to the context of the poem. An apple tree is life, while you're poem discusses the need to feel to truly experience life.

Then opening line of your poem 'Life will break you' is very dramatic, I liked how it just grabs your attention.

The repetition of 'you have to' and 'or' creates a sense of urgency.

I particularly liked the lines, 'For solitude will also break you with its yearning,' and 'death brushes near'. Both of these lines are dramatic and sticks out.

I didn't like the presentation of the poem. The single spacing isn't really easy on the eye and just seems to cram everything in. I also didn't like how you separated the stanzas.

I didn't like how you used '&' rather than 'and'. It just seems to detract from the poem and makes it seem immature. While it is a writer's prerogative, in this instance it doesn't seem like the poem benefits in any way.

Overall I thought this was a well written poem and enjoyed reading it.


McQuinn chapter 1 . 6/17/2007
You know, I think I like your poetry so much because each one of them comments on life. As does "Apple Tree."

When I think of "Apple Tree," two thoughts pop up in my mind:

-First, the children's song "Ce-Ce" - you probably know how it goes: "Ce-Ce oh play mate/Come out and play with me./And bring your dollies three,/Climb up my apple tree." (I love remembering my childhood. Makes life more bearable.)

-Second, Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden. (This is where I feel your poem has most meaning to me.) Eating the apple from the tree was the beginning of life's hardships. It caused all of life's crap that you mention in your poem. The act of calmly sitting near an apple tree, listening to them fall, and eating all the apples that are left is kind of like saying "Fuck you" to life's hardships. It's like not caring about the origins of the hardships and accepting it (eating the apple even though it's the cause of suffering, and enjoying it), and dealing with whatever life deals to you.

Ugh, I can't explain it well, but I hope you get the gist of it! The poem itself is beautiful. The list towards the end of the poem is meant to look overwhelming and long. And I like the breaks at the end of the poem.

The only thing I'm a little iffy on is the punctuation and uses of &. Otherwise, I love this.

atlasaire chapter 1 . 6/17/2007
Hello again, trying to catch up on my reviews here:

Okay, so this poem shows the very problem with all of us... we have feelings. We have to find happiness, not just be happy and even if you have tried looking for it... you end up being screwed over.

But instead of angsting over it, you try to find something good about it. Like being alive... and enjoying the life around you. And just relax...
criti-sized chapter 1 . 11/13/2006
Another very nicely portrayed poem. The words in this were very true to a far extent. I really liked your image of how things seemed to be.
the small print chapter 1 . 11/10/2006
Nice poem. I especially liked the metaphor of apple trees, where "Life will break you" is just like the apples that eventually break off the tree.

I really liked:

"as long as you aren't dead yet,

let yourself sit by an apple tree

& listen to the apples falling around you in heaps.

Just think."

Because even as life occurs, and stuff happens, we all need time to think and "Then, eat all the apples left on the tree."
Walking Catastrophe chapter 1 . 10/29/2006
Ow, I think my stomach hurts from all those apples. I've never had life break me before and I've always avoided love but I adored this poem. I loved

"And when it happens that you are broken,

or betrayed,

or left,

or hurt,

or death brushes near,

as long as you aren't dead yet,

let yourself sit by an apple tree"

I don't know why but I do. What is another word for beautiful? Ah yes, this poem was stunning.
M.D.Irvine chapter 1 . 10/22/2006
like this one a lot! its mist likely that when life breaks you, you tend to curl up in a ball of solitude but then being alone is also really hard. i dunno i just relate to this poem though im not sure i really get the last few lines about the apple tree :-)
joby4ever chapter 1 . 10/20/2006
another one from u hann!

keep it up!
MidnightStar005 chapter 1 . 10/18/2006
I really love it. Keep it up!