|Reviews for Jabbing|
| Aelux chapter 1 . 1/5/2007
First, I want to thank you for a VERY nice review. I enjoyed all your thoughts thoroughly. I read your latest poem first, but since you reviewed one of mine that hadn't been reviewed, I figured i'd review this one in return.
The way you string your ideas together along the theme is perfect. And like me, you speak your mind openly, though not as vague, but your symbolism makes up for that, to keep it somewhat hidden as to what you're really talking about. When I think of someone jabbing me to keep me going straight, for my own good, with blinders on...I can only think of parents or an authoritative head of some sort. I could very well be wrong, but that's what I got from this. "And blame it on being young" This totally got to me, because it's a widely used excuse for those who are "older" - not necessarily wiser - to pass their inane judgments.
You have a lot of substance to your writing style, but I think you lack (for critiques sake) "the depth of writing" - this doesn't mean I think you, personally, lack depth, but that the way you write and how you put words together is a little too shallow for the substance of your ideas to come to complete fruition.
Once you harness that ability I think your work could come off as beyond your years. I really did enjoy this pice. Some of the symbolism I STILL can't grasp exactly what the reference is. Great job.