Reviews for Jack
Adanska chapter 1 . 1/12/2007
Nice writing style. The nothing but dialog thing is really interesting. I feel bad for Maggie.

Sets, out.

::end transmission::
tini5585 chapter 1 . 10/23/2006
That ending was like a slap to the face...ouch

but I liked it
angels and effects chapter 1 . 10/19/2006
Wow, this a very different story from the others here on FP. Besides the no-name thing, it's made up entirely of conversations. Usually, I get put off by stories like that, but since it's supposed to be a dialogue kind of story, I read it :)

Ok... so first of all, I noticed the National Geographic thing. It brings out the fact that Maggie's a stay home kind of girl, and the way you do it is good. Hmm, I like National Geographic too, come to think of it... NEVERMIND :D Aiden's surname is a tad bit weird... yes, it sounds like a disease, that was EXACTLY what I was thinking before I read that part! Well yes, it's cliched how Aiden goes up to Lucy and asks her out, but the world needs more of them. The sibling fight they had wasn't well developed in my opinion though. That's the bad part about having the entire thing in dialogue - you miss some descriptive parts out. Poor Maggie, so Lucy's the younger and obviously more sought after sister. The jealousy is pretty poignant though, that's the good part. I like the way you end this off - not too abrupt, but it just leaves me to wonder how Maggie will respond to that.

Oh, and one last thing. I seriously don't understand why the title of this is Jack. Any reference to anything in particular?

Nice one here, just needs a little more improvement. But hey, no one's perfect :)