Reviews for Soda Can |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. That's deep. I really think that's somebody before their gonna die of blood loss thinks. Thanks for pointing out that mistake in my poem. It has now been fixed! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice. Catchy title, catchy poem. No complaints. Can't wait to read more of your stuff! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, I liked the first five lines a lot, and the last! Was the accident from a soda can, or was the blood gushing out like a soda can? |
![]() ![]() ![]() ah yes cutting. its amazing how blood and a simple sharp edge can make you feel so much better. well, for a few seconds anyway. great job! i can really relate to this! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Graphically vivid. I like the questioning aspect at the end. Truly descriptive. Well done. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I don't like the topic. Oh where, oh where, is Teddy Bear when you need him? :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() This ones very creative. Hmm... maybe I should've tried that method instead of a pen cap. But then, I wouldn't be here to review your poem :- |
![]() ![]() ![]() i thik the best line in this thing is catch my eye. not sure why, put it does...nice scary and adrline rushy,you know? |
![]() ![]() ![]() ["Blood gushes / My blood . . ."] A tad irrelavent, the first few lines in their entirety. The repetition of blood is just a turn-off because it would have been more HAUNTING - I expect that that is the desired affect of this poem - if you had used imagery in the place of that line. Tough, this could just me looking at this too deply; perhaps you WANT it that way. Alright; I adore your set-up on mood. Even with the irksome use of blood over-and-over - which I still can't decide if its waning on annoying or just "meh, think about it later" -, I STILL really like it. The mood is set up nicely; the atmosphere is dark and tinged with horror and angst and the narration is so devoid but angst-ridden all the same. Its wonderful. Really. I can't help but really dig the vampire feel, the self-mutilating teen feel, the pure horror feel. It really is nice; it isn't drawen out or wrong-right or anything, its simple and plainly cut and nice while still needing some work. Lovely. ~* Noelle |