|Reviews for Soda Can|
| Living.My.Life.My.Way chapter 1 . 3/18/2007
| Ivory Willow chapter 1 . 12/8/2006
Wow. That's deep. I really think that's somebody before their gonna die of blood loss thinks.
Thanks for pointing out that mistake in my poem. It has now been fixed!
| Kid In Converse chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
Nice. Catchy title, catchy poem. No complaints. Can't wait to read more of your stuff!
| R.J. Crosbie chapter 1 . 10/26/2006
Oh, I liked the first five lines a lot, and the last! Was the accident from a soda can, or was the blood gushing out like a soda can?
| commemorativemisery chapter 1 . 10/26/2006
ah yes cutting. its amazing how blood and a simple sharp edge can make you feel so much better. well, for a few seconds anyway.
great job! i can really relate to this!
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 10/26/2006
Graphically vivid. I like the questioning aspect at the end. Truly descriptive. Well done.
| kathleen30263 chapter 1 . 10/25/2006
I don't like the topic. Oh where, oh where, is Teddy Bear when you need him? :)
| tamarkaph2006 chapter 1 . 10/24/2006
This ones very creative. Hmm... maybe I should've tried that method instead of a pen cap. But then, I wouldn't be here to review your poem :-
| braindead1345 chapter 1 . 10/22/2006
i thik the best line in this thing is catch my eye. not sure why, put it does...nice scary and adrline rushy,you know?
| poetic abortion chapter 1 . 10/20/2006
["Blood gushes / My blood . . ."] A tad irrelavent, the first few lines in their entirety. The repetition of blood is just a turn-off because it would have been more HAUNTING - I expect that that is the desired affect of this poem - if you had used imagery in the place of that line. Tough, this could just me looking at this too deply; perhaps you WANT it that way.
Alright; I adore your set-up on mood. Even with the irksome use of blood over-and-over - which I still can't decide if its waning on annoying or just "meh, think about it later" -, I STILL really like it. The mood is set up nicely; the atmosphere is dark and tinged with horror and angst and the narration is so devoid but angst-ridden all the same. Its wonderful. Really.
I can't help but really dig the vampire feel, the self-mutilating teen feel, the pure horror feel. It really is nice; it isn't drawen out or wrong-right or anything, its simple and plainly cut and nice while still needing some work. Lovely.