Reviews for breathe IN
driftveilings chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
...That song

Er, it's kind of my favorite.

All time. Ever.

And this one shot perfectly corresponds with it.

I applaud you for this.
Maybreakmyheart chapter 1 . 4/24/2009
Wow.
Sandy Sparkle chapter 1 . 11/22/2008
Brilliant!

I really enjoyed reading this. -thumbs up-
frigoetmoi chapter 1 . 9/13/2008
its funny, i felt this once, but of course no to the point of killing, just leaving. haha. its one of those things where you yourself feels depressed because the other is too perfect.
Nessa Veneanar chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
Love the twist that the ending takes!

I agree with Alaka's theory mostly; the male character doesn't come across as a sociopath.

I think it says a lot about our human ideals. On TV, in our books, on the internet... the men and women of our romances are (mostly) supposed to be drop-dead gorgeous, even more so with the kind of typical teenage romance story (no offense to teenagers- I'm one myself- or their romances). But would we really be happy with someone who has no flaws?

Like the woman, this story has no glaring flaws (bad pun, I know). :) The prose draws you in, and the use of short, simple lines to break up larger sections make the piece almost lyrical. And of course, the final line packs quite a punch.
the ignorance of it all chapter 1 . 8/4/2008
I love this. It's so... beautiful.

The story itself is perfect, flawless.

Absolutely amazing.

Please, for the sake of the world, keep writing. )
Alaka chapter 1 . 2/13/2008
I found this rather interesting. Your story reminded me of something my friend told me, that certain men (or was it most?) are intimidated by beautiful or talented women. I don't think that your protagonist is exactly a sociopath, as one reviewer pointed out. Rather, he seems more intimidated by her and feels insecure consequently. Like how he wishes she were flawed.

Maybe he's just afraid of losing her. Or maybe she's so perfect that he can't reach out, since all he wants to do is fix something, i.e. play a part in the relationship that makes him look meaningful.

Anyway, I really liked your use of language. You don't burden your work with adjectives, but when they come they sound silky and fragile:

* walls thin as paper

* blue, translucent curtains she picked out last week

* static noise like God's bullets bouncing off the windowpanes

How can I wrap this up? I liked how effectively you ended things. The lyric was so simple, yet so conveying. Keep writing! :)
vocecara chapter 1 . 12/23/2007
the classic 'too perfect; no flaws' kind of person? don't quite get it. he wants to kill her because she's so flawless?

scrap that. if i met someone like that i'd want to kill her too.
emerald chapter 1 . 12/13/2007
*shudder* Gotta be careful about who you end up with, huh. Good job on making it so realistic and touching.
Why My Fic chapter 1 . 11/30/2007
I will be quite honest this story does sound somewhat like the Told(?) tale Heart But other than that it has gooding wording and great use of similies and metaphores.

Nice job
relapse into change chapter 1 . 11/9/2007
this is beautiful

and perfectly written

& i love it

(you probely want to hear more then that

but i'm not really a good reviewer sorry)

it's going on my favorites though :)
d666lisa chapter 1 . 11/1/2007
EXCELLENT :-)
for keeps chapter 1 . 9/1/2007
This is... it's beautiful. And I know that must be such a mundane review, and that you must want to hear more than that, but it's really all I can come up.

It left me reeling, and I'm still trying to pick apart your pretty words and get to the meaning. This is one I'll be thinking about for a while.
tstj chapter 1 . 8/7/2007
How disturbing.

Love or hate? I can't tell.
gulistanlik chapter 1 . 6/27/2007
He doesn't like her because she has no flaws?

(Not that he would get a hold of someone completely perfect in the first place- that's not human)

Nice one-shot by the way. Very enchanting...is that the word?
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