First of all it's great to see you writing again! It's been awhile.

I really like the combination here of writing and the ocean. It was a really interesting metaphor. I've never seen that particular combination before and it works really beautifully together.

The whole piece is great. Your descriptions are really beautiful. The way you describe the alphabet is really awesome. It was interesting that you ended with a dash. It seemed like it was almost unfinished maybe?

PS Check out the Review Game and its Review Marathon (links in my profile)

I kinda love the second part of this one. It is a little awkward, but hey, this was also written 4 years ago. Ha. Anyway. I love the imagery in this. Lovely, but scary. Keep writing! :)

This poem is amazing and I love your writing.

I'm sorry if you wanted constructive criticism or something, because I have none.

Review on "perfection for the picture":

I like this segment especially. It's very picturesque, contains tons of imagery. The lines "we grin and they reply/blink after blink/another family episode/in a sequence of smiles," makes me imagine the flashes of a camera, smiles snuck in between [whether intentional or not]. The "circus of expression" line is a memorable one. And on a last [but not least] note, my favorite stanza is the last, especially "maybe we could duck under the frame/and slip away and you can/finally kiss me candid." It's very reminiscent of Eireann Corrigan's manner of speech in "You Remind Me of You: A Poetry Memory."

Keep writing, love.

~persephone in waiting

I love that last stanza... I can totally relate to that... well written

Wow the brutality and sadness of lost love. This was brilliant.

i cant write about others directly in the idea of writing it to them

i begin to write everything i hate about them

because love poetry isnt as interesting

or compelling

What an amazing image. It really is abstract, but yet I can see it perfectly. Really fantastic. Keep writing! :)

Ah, — the elemental force that we can't contain and lives beyond words. Nice job. m

Some thoughts for you:

so young you stepped out

to lands others fear tread, —

rainbow to dream worlds

&

that which frightens most

you fastened, — but hesitate,

about parent's love

that

green, broad Queen fig tree

giving every strength

to seed with love nearby earth

The last line of the Kisses I don't have is a real beaut. It brings together the whole poem for me. I loved it.

Ayx

Applause. Thank you.

beautiful... I love the last three stanzas.. amazing desriptions

I like the flow.. it flows well.. I also like the descriptions.. beautiful piece

Awesome...no other word for it but that.

Ayx

I really love the first two lines... great piece